Kirsten Alberts
Kirsten Alberts has performed on Kill Tony 4 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Kirsten discussed working as a waitress, her poor hygiene habits, stealing toilet paper, and a doctor encounter with blood on her underwear. She made self-deprecating jokes about being disgusting.
- Uptight women ordering toast dry as euphemism for vagina
- Tips 20% but steals one roll of toilet paper per dollar tipped
- Doctor gets blood on her underwear; it was already there
Explicit set about sexual encounter with pedophile gynecologist at age 17 and his inappropriate comments during exam.
- First sexual experience with pedophile gynecologist when babysitting his kids
- Indian gynecologist says 'you're so tight' during pelvic exam, she responds with bus joke
- Comparing male experience to female doctor saying 'you're so huge' during exam
Set about past depression and suicide ideation, bungee jumping and skydiving attempts, surviving for wrong reasons including not wanting to die a virgin.
- Suicide attempts through bungee jumping never worked; cords never broke
- Didn't want to die virgin so necrophiliacs wouldn't win
- Had sex, realized guy didn't need her alive for that
Jokes about fake karma through parking tickets, giving money only to homeless women, body image cutting nipples off, boyfriend Star Wars roleplay mixing Leia and Chewbacca.
- Takes parking tickets instead of paying meters for good karma
- Cut nipples off and sewed genitals shut to look like Barbie