KILL TONY Wiki

Kirsten Alberts

🎤 4 appearancesFirst: May 16, 2016Latest: August 15, 2016

Kirsten Alberts has performed on Kill Tony 4 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.

Appearances

Kill Tony #170 Bucket Pull · August 15, 2016

Kirsten discussed working as a waitress, her poor hygiene habits, stealing toilet paper, and a doctor encounter with blood on her underwear. She made self-deprecating jokes about being disgusting.

  • Uptight women ordering toast dry as euphemism for vagina
  • Tips 20% but steals one roll of toilet paper per dollar tipped
  • Doctor gets blood on her underwear; it was already there
Kill Tony June 15, 2020 Bucket Pull · June 15, 2020

Explicit set about sexual encounter with pedophile gynecologist at age 17 and his inappropriate comments during exam.

  • First sexual experience with pedophile gynecologist when babysitting his kids
  • Indian gynecologist says 'you're so tight' during pelvic exam, she responds with bus joke
  • Comparing male experience to female doctor saying 'you're so huge' during exam
Kill Tony September 18, 2017 Bucket Pull · September 18, 2017

Set about past depression and suicide ideation, bungee jumping and skydiving attempts, surviving for wrong reasons including not wanting to die a virgin.

  • Suicide attempts through bungee jumping never worked; cords never broke
  • Didn't want to die virgin so necrophiliacs wouldn't win
  • Had sex, realized guy didn't need her alive for that
Kill Tony May 16, 2016 Bucket Pull · May 16, 2016

Jokes about fake karma through parking tickets, giving money only to homeless women, body image cutting nipples off, boyfriend Star Wars roleplay mixing Leia and Chewbacca.

  • Takes parking tickets instead of paying meters for good karma
  • Cut nipples off and sewed genitals shut to look like Barbie