Kill Tony #186 — Luis J Gomez, Mike Lawrence
Guests: Luis J Gomez · Mike Lawrence
Lineup
Opey
Set: Opey discusses traveling for standup and how locals think he raps, then tells jokes about his black neighborhood and learning white people's favorite way to say the n-word with their eyes.
Interview: Opey reveals he's from DC originally from Nigeria, moved at age 5, works customer service for Hulu, and recently got into a relationship with a white Nigerian actress he met on Tinder.
- Locals ask if he raps, he pretends to be rapper by telling Lion King plots
- Only black guy in LA neighborhood, learned white people's favorite way to say n-word is with their eyes
- Nigeria and Niger names stolen, both countries stolen like X-Men names
- Luis J Gomez compliments Opey's strong stage presence and solid jokes despite the judging environment
- Panel roasts Opey about looking like first person to go to college in hood movies destined to die
Set: Marine veteran William talks about serving 4 years in Afghanistan, going through divorce, missing combat pay, and a disturbing side effect from Ambien where he beat his wife in his sleep.
Interview: William discusses marrying his ex-wife after 3 months drunk in Vegas, 3 years of marriage with couples therapy, her claiming to be a medium, and his military experiences with 350 estimated kills.
- Fought in Afghanistan, now divorced, misses being paid to kill
- Ambien made him beat wife in sleep, VA doctor said drug worked great
- Wife claimed to be medium, he stopped having sex in house because grandparents' presence
- Panel reacts strongly to revelation that wife wanted him to rewrite joke about beating ex-girlfriend from war trauma
- William reveals estimated 350 kills during Afghanistan service, panel goes silent
- Mike Lawrence notes William's terrifying stage presence and appearance
Set: Chevy does jokes about having diabetes and women wanting oral sex, going into diabetic coma from girlfriend drinking Coca-Cola, and erectile dysfunction being his dick playing possum.
Interview: Chevy reveals he has cerebral palsy, diabetes, and high blood pressure. His brother is serving life sentence and another brother is dead. Recently moved to LA from South Central a month ago.
- Women want oral sex but must ensure vagina sugar-free due to diabetes
- Went down on girl drinking Coca-Cola, blood sugar went to 850, passed out, mom found grease on face
- Erectile dysfunction is just dick playing possum
- Mike Lawrence notes Chevy's exceptional delivery compared to joke quality, compares to Tracy Morgan post-accident
- Chevy mentions brother doing life sentence, another brother dead, he's 'winning' by being alive
Set: Joey discusses giving his Marine brother a shower loofah for birthday, being called adorable while brother fights wars, and awkward family comparisons about being the inferior son.
Interview: Joey reveals he's half-German half-Filipino, works in dad's inventory company, recently broken up with by email from girl he met in improv class, struggles with depression and attempted suicide by hanging.
- Gave Marine brother shower loofah for birthday, he doesn't exfoliate
- Being called adorable while Marine brother fights wars, parents compare him unfavorably
- Panel notes Joey's weak set, Mike Lawrence celebrates finally getting someone to bomb for entertainment
- Joey reveals suicide attempt with belt in closet that failed when belt gave way
- Panel shares own depression/suicide stories including Jeremiah's hanging attempt
- Panel pivots to poop stories, Jeremiah shares 5-hour drive with shitted pants to audition
Set: Mikey does one-liners: goes by Mikey because it's key to your heart, if you look like him you gotta be spiritual, tried to tap subconscious found self-conscious, doesn't like mouths but they're convenient.
Interview: Mikey from Rancho Cucamonga, been in LA 10 years, doing standup 8 years, works at Bubba Gump for over 9 years. Met girlfriend at Bubba Gump 4 years ago, has Forest Gump trivia.
- No one takes him seriously because Mikey, Mikey is key to your heart
- If you look like him you gotta be spiritual
- Tapped into subconscious, found self-conscious instead
- Doesn't like mouths but they're convenient, mouth is convenient thing with tightness options
- Panel critiques catchphrase 'boa' said too many times in one minute, hates it
- Mikey reveals he's worked at Bubba Gump since it came out, same job for 9+ years
- Panel discusses his appearance looking like Workaholics character or never-ending story dog as drug dealer
Set: Ali does sexual material about being told she has body of 16th century painting and becoming clingy, not liking mouths but finding them convenient, with emphasis on cleanup and tightness benefits.
Interview: Ali performs new minute every week not from bucket, wore insulation jacket from Urban Outfitters, didn't wear bra to work, defends outfit choice and ironic fashion.
- Guy said she had body of 16th century painting, became clingy without having sex
- Doesn't like mouths but they're convenient, infomercial for mouth: tight, easy cleanup
- Panel extensively roasts Ali's hideous insulation-material jacket from Urban Outfitters
- Ali mentions not wearing bra to work, panel asks about it repeatedly
- Panel compares jacket to popcorn on movie theater floor, bear costume, insulation materials