Kill Tony #422 — Shanks, Big Panic
Guests: Shanks · Big Panic
Lineup
Set: Adopted Colombian comedian discusses his adoption, lack of money, working at grocery store delis, and moving frequently between cities. Makes jokes about ICE, his adopted sister, and stealing bread from Trader Joe's.
Interview: Discussed his work history at grocery stores, theft of bread and items at Trader Joe's, frequent moves between Columbus/Chicago/Brooklyn, his Colombian adoption, and plans to move to LA in two years.
- Jokes about being adopted from Colombia and suggesting ICE could send him back.
- Compares working at grocery stores to his adoption experience, references Trader Joe's theft.
- Tony discovers Lucas has been doing stand-up for 4 years but only going up 1-2 times per week.
Blake
Set: Functioning alcoholic discusses his love of CC's pizza/mac and cheese pizza, his physique, and uses the slogan 'go big or go home' when eating. References not doing well with ladies in high school.
Interview: Discussed working in industrial soaps/metalworking chemicals with cancer risk, yo-yo dieting (lost 100 lbs twice), wrestling background, and his eating habits. Notable moment: coins fitted into his bellybutton for comedy bit.
- Raging to functioning alcoholic progression, eventually becoming the old bar guy making sexist jokes.
- CC's pizza motto: go big or go home, doesn't go home often, becomes Nike 'just do it.'
- Blake allows Shanks to insert coins (nickels, dimes, quarters) into his exposed bellybutton on stage.
- Blake chugs a large beer extremely fast while visibly shaking from nervousness.
Set: Discusses heart size comparison and Parkinson's disease, making jokes about James Bond martini-shaking and giving a baby with Parkinson's. References trying to see the bright side of life.
Interview: Two years of stand-up, one minute-and-a-half contest in Michigan, bartends and serves at Condado taco place, has a girlfriend of four months who is a nurse, discussed sex positions and his current girlfriend's ex who is a famous comedian.
- Heart size fist comparison, two times having Parkinson's would be cool: making James Bond martinis or holding babies.
- Joe reveals he was in Marines for one year, had pneumonia that filled lungs with three liters of fluid, sergeant dismissed it as 'tummy ache.'
- Tony makes callback to sea otters holding hands when Joe mentions girlfriend, connects to earlier marine discussion.
JT
Set: Discusses drunk driving vs. tired driving with father references, living with roommates and mimicking mother's behavior, relationship where he let girlfriend have hairy legs, and makes joke about Tony Hinchcliffe's mustache.
Interview: Age 25 (turning 26), Puerto Rican heritage, warehouse job, likes to rap and sing, performed a freestyle rap for the audience, discussed attraction to thick women, first time doing stand-up comedy.
- Dad never sleepwalked calling mom 'flat ass' unlike drunk driving equivalence comparison.
- Recently moved out with three male roommates, becoming more like mother, especially waking up in friends' beds.
- JT performs freestyle rap with band accompaniment on stage, extensive musical moment.
- Tony makes Takashi 6-9 witness protection comparison to JT's appearance.
Set: References Fresh Prince Aunt Vivian recasting, makes joke about one-sock wearers masturbating, favorite place to masturbate is strip club bathroom, jokes about rape whistle and Me Too movement.
Interview: Four months of stand-up (ten open mics), age 37, has a glass eye from accident seven years ago, was kicked out of Nelson's Ledges by security with fire poker, previously addicted to prescription opioids in Vegas, hasn't kissed a girl in a month.
- Fresh Prince aunt Vivian recasting, white guilt from not noticing change.
- One sock means he masturbated in last half hour, favorite strip club bathroom.
- Tony and panel decide to put coins in Brandon's glass eye socket, parallel to Blake's bellybutton bit earlier.
- Brandon reveals seven-year history of glass eye, kicked out of Nelson's Ledges with fire poker, Vegas opioid addiction.
Set: Discusses taking political privileges from people on stage, jokes about dating awkwardness, friend cooking dinner and pestering for sex, watching Mandalorian first episode while cheating on family.
Interview: Came to show to upset her boyfriend's cousin by getting pulled, bartender, learning sign language to have backup for not shutting up, tried dating on Tinder with guitar players, three months without sex.
- Here to take political privileges away from stage, upset boyfriend's cousin.
- Dating awkwardness: friend cooks dinner, pesters about sex, she watches Mandalorian instead.
- Audience turns hostile on Katie early in set, Tony and panel mock her throughout.
- Katie admits she came to the show specifically to upset her boyfriend's cousin by getting pulled.
Set: Discusses importance of bees and pollination, describes flower reproduction metaphorically as 'flower dick and flower vagina,' jokes that bee pollination is like 'secret rape,' compares to regular rape.
Interview: Childhood friend of Tony's from Youngstown, beat Tony up twice in school with book bag containing lunch, worked with supervisor Stallone at printing company, attended private school known for fighting.
- Bees doing pollination work while flowers make 'flower dick and flower vagina,' bee work worse than regular rape.
- Tony reveals Michael punched him in mouth on first day of first grade bus ride.
- Michael and Tony recount beating each other up in second and third grade with book bag full of lunch.
Set: Works at House of Blues on clock as VIP staff, jokes about being fat and stairs, mentions crying doesn't help weight loss, references depression alongside fitness struggles.
Interview: Works at House of Blues as VIP staff for two months, found signup sheet while working and signed up on a whim, previously worked at coffee shop and ice cream shop, Tony expresses confusion about her motivation.
- Working at House of Blues on clock, being fat is stressful with stairs.
- Keto doesn't work, just cry a lot on top of depression.
- Kristin repeatedly hesitates and gives non-answers to Tony's questions about why she signed up.
- Tony expresses frustration that Kristin signed up while working at the venue without preparation.
Set: Drove from Cincinnati for show, joined bowling league as excuse for stronger right arm, works as librarian (listens to podcasts, not reading books), makes weak AFC North joke.
Interview: Age 26, first time stand-up, bowling league for 10 weeks with team called 'Bucket Boys,' librarian for little over a year with masters in library science from Kent State, dated girl for summer, they disagreed on weed smoking.
- Joined bowling league for excuse of stronger right arm than left from bowling.
- Librarian job: listens to podcasts all day, not reading books, it's 2019.
- Tony critiques Mark's Cincinnati joke as killing the momentum of better bowling material.
Mike Hudak
Set: From Youngstown like Tony, jokes about family in mob, married around same time as Tony, both called twink. Divorced, wife took dog, wife called daughter 'daughter' which disturbed him, references peanut butter balls.
Interview: Age 40, from Youngstown originally, lived in Columbus 20 years, works in food and beverage, raps, saw Tony Rogan at theaters years ago, recently divorced (8 months), hooked up with rebound girlfriend in 10-15 minutes missionary, wife left with guy named 'Troll.'
- From Youngstown like Tony, both have mob family members, both married, both called twinks.
- Wife took dog, called her 'daughter,' jokes about not letting daughter lick peanut butter off balls.
- Mike reveals wife left him for man nicknamed 'Troll' who came into bar.
Set: PETA autism survivor whose mother blamed herself for brother's autism, smoked during pregnancy then quit for sister. Watched Rain Man, jokes about learning 'retardation' from movie, mother asked what he learned about autism.
Interview: Has autistic brother, mother wrongly blamed herself and smoking during pregnancy, Tony encourages her to continue talking, performance cut short but presented as strong comedian.
- Mother blamed herself for brother's autism, quit smoking during sister's pregnancy but not his.
- Watched Rain Man after brother's diagnosis, learned about 'retardation,' mother asked what he learned.
- Alexis falls on stage when introduced, recovers and continues strong set.