Jake Beckman
Jake Beckman has performed on Kill Tony 5 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Performed extremely offensive material about mistaking ugly women for transvestites, dead babies losing virginity at Catholic churches, priest abuse, and hermaphrodite dating dynamics.
- Mistakes ugly women for transvestites; rule: uglier women have thicker mustaches.
- Only way dead baby loses virginity is body dumped at Catholic church due to priest abuse.
- Transvestite dating hermaphrodite prefer being called thing one and thing two.
Jake rapidly delivers a rant about country music being a dying genre with artificial votes and contradictory instrumentation. He speaks in a radio-host cadence and criticizes how country has devolved into boring, stagnant rock.
- Country Music Awards are Special Olympics of music industry
Jake performs a fast-paced set about bathroom hygiene and the contradictions of having a toilet next to a shower, delivered in rapid Spicoli-like cadence.
- Toilet next to shower creates hygiene problem with airborne poop particles
- Hot shower after big bowel movement mixes poop smell into walls and skin
Jake delivers edgy jokes about sexy girls vs ugly girls, Mormon/Catholic dating differences, LGBTQ+ commentary, stripper pricing, country music and incest. He performs a response song to Katy Perry's 'Bon Appétit' with explicit sexual lyrics.
- Sexy girls and ugly girls with eating disorders are both easy to date.
- Gay people should qualify for Special Olympics due to mental predisposition.
Beckman does edgy dark material about Hitler's suicide, Catholic priests converting to Islam, and crude observations about prostitutes, incest, and pornography.
- Hitler committed suicide due to ugly wife and poor vaginal hygiene
- Catholic priests converting to Islam to access communities permitting child abuse
- Prostitutes enjoy flavored lube while getting paid for oral sex