Kill Tony Connor McSpadden, Keith Carey
Guests: Connor McSpadden · Keith Carey
Lineup
Set: Evan discusses aliens, discovering intelligent life, and geopolitical absurdities. He touches on government relationships with extraterrestrials and comedic observations about human civilization.
Interview: Evan reveals he moved from New York to California, lived in Germany from 11-17 years, was in drama club, and currently walks dogs for Wag. He discusses being bitten by a German Shepherd mix, meeting his girlfriend through stand-up, and hosting an acid-fueled comedy show in New York.
- Aliens discover Earth but only want oil and healthcare; humans offer corn.
- Evan reveals he hosted a comedy show in New York where multiple comics performed while tripping on acid or shrooms, including James Adomian doing Bernie Sanders.
- Evan describes being on acid at the circus in a princess costume, picked by the clown to perform.
Set: Malik's set focuses on his girlfriend and unusual domestic pranks. He jokes about putting her shoes in the freezer and mentions relationships spanning multiple women.
Interview: Malik discusses his seven serious relationships with eight different women, clarifies jokes about Batman and Gotham titties with the panel, and talks about dating. Panelists debate the punchline delivery and timing of his Batman/titties joke.
- Put girlfriend's shoes in freezer to prevent her walking around with icy dice.
- Extended panel discussion about whether his punchline was 'got dem titties' or 'Gotham titties' and what the actual Batman reference was supposed to mean.
- Malik attempts to flirt with a woman in the front row while on stage, asking if she's someone's girlfriend.
Set: Daniel jokes about Budweiser sending hops and barley to Mars, criticizing their beer quality on Earth. He parodies a corporate boardroom meeting about planetary colonization priorities.
Interview: Daniel reveals he's from Montreal, moved to LA two years ago, works as audience warm-up at Riot Games (League of Legends), throws Mountain Dew at audience members. Panel discusses his confidence issues and accent shifts.
- Budweiser should learn to brew beer on Earth before colonizing Mars.
- Corporate boardroom debates priorities for Mars colonization; beer is highest priority.
- Tony and Connor have a makout battle to settle a disagreement about comedy timing, with the old lady and old man on stage appearing to approve.
- Panel criticizes Daniel for losing confidence in the second half of his set, affecting the delivery.
Set: Meghan jokes about being a bad girl, smoking weed in high school to attract stoner boys, and drinking since grade school with a man named Balls. Her set is more personal storytelling than structured jokes.
Interview: Meghan reveals she started stand-up in March, works as a nanny for multiple families with children ages 4-14, claims second attendance at Kill Tony after disliking her first visit. She discusses babysitting and receiving jokes from employers.
- Started smoking weed in high school because stoner boys are cute.
- Guy who bought her booze in grade school was named Balls.
- Meghan admits she hated Kill Tony the first time she attended but returned after watching the show from backstage.
Set: Cameron jokes about friends-with-benefits lacking dental coverage, personal health insurance struggles, and chicken caesar wraps being burritos for white women. Light observational comedy.
Interview: Cameron is from San Diego, visited LA yesterday, works as a janitor at a church and preschool. Panel makes jokes about his job and questions if he's seen anything creepy at the church.
- Friends-with-benefits should include full dental coverage, not just sex.
- Chicken caesar wraps are just burritos marketed to white women.
- Cameron reveals he had sex in Berry Street Park with children present nearby, though not with the children.
Set: Ali describes Coachella experiences, comparing people's lack of unity at festivals, jokes about cutting lines and comparing girls to Neapolitan ice cream. She discusses her inability to orgasm.
Interview: Ali borrowed a fur coat from someone she's house-sitting for, admits to cutting lines everywhere, recently into a three-week relationship. Panel jokes extensively about her inability to reach orgasm and suggests finding better partners.
- Girl at Coachella crying during Lil Uzi Vert's song about dead friends.
- Line-cutting girl looks like Neapolitan ice cream square candy.
- Extended panel discussion about Ali's inability to orgasm; Keith and Connor make jokes and suggestions about needing better partners.
- Ali admits she abandoned her friend in San Francisco to do comedy instead of spending time with them.
Set: Bernie's set covers sexual grunting sounds, jokes about dating Mormons vs Catholics, transgender/Special Olympics references, stripper pricing, country music and incest, and a response song to Katy Perry's 'Bon Appétit'.
Interview: Bernie was referred to the show by someone named Guam at a Denny's open mic, studies accounting at Santa Monica College, previously worked at Warner Brothers/CW building websites and social media. Panel questions his credentials and experience.
- Mormon girls let you have multiple girlfriends; Catholic girls allow anal.
- Stripper pricing should be half-off for trans strippers dancing for trans customers.
- Bernie performs an extremely long, rambling set that goes over 60 seconds significantly, covering multiple disparate topics with minimal comedic structure.
- Panel aggressively questions Bernie's credentials, suggesting he didn't actually work at Warner Brothers and only did social media tasks.
Set: Jake delivers edgy jokes about sexy girls vs ugly girls, Mormon/Catholic dating differences, LGBTQ+ commentary, stripper pricing, country music and incest. He performs a response song to Katy Perry's 'Bon Appétit' with explicit sexual lyrics.
Interview: Jake is a porn actor with stage name 'Jake Ariston.' Panel discusses his porn career, best sexual techniques lasting 45+ minutes, memory of specific scenes, and he performs improvised porn scene parodies with Tony and panel members.
- Sexy girls and ugly girls with eating disorders are both easy to date.
- Gay people should qualify for Special Olympics due to mental predisposition.
- Jake performs extended improvised pornographic scenes as requested by Tony, including pizza delivery and paramedic scenarios with the panel.
- Panel reveals Jake created a comedy album on iTunes before doing stand-up and it was taken down by iTunes itself.
- Jake discusses embarrassing details of his porn work, including premature ejaculation risks and specific sexual acts performed.