Kill Tony #320 — Jeff Ross
Guests: Jeff Ross
Lineup
Molly Kauffman
Set: Jeff delivered a rapid-fire 60-second set with topical jokes about R. Kelly hosting Oscars, the government shutdown, Nancy Pelosi, and Kevin Spacey, ending with a self-aware comment about his jokes being 12 seconds long.
- R. Kelly hosting the Oscars announcement with joke about finding him jerking off to Kevin Spacey Christmas video.
- Speculation on Nancy Pelosi and Donald Trump having an affair during government shutdown.
- One of only two guests in show history to complete 60 seconds perfectly; compared to Ron White and Da Money.
Set: Twin brothers from Arkansas performed edgy material about Power Rangers racial casting, making racist jokes about each color ranger, and jokes about being identical twins.
Interview: Discussed 3 years together doing comedy (9 and 6 years individually), moving to LA 2 months ago, came from group of 6 comedians from Arkansas, only one has driver's license, potential reality show appearance.
- Power Rangers were racist: black ranger was black, yellow ranger was Asian, white ranger was best.
- Compared themselves to Lucas brothers but white and nerdy; mentioned attendee caravan from Little Rock called them NWO of Kill Tony.
- First time twins ever performed on Kill Tony in show history; strong crowd reaction despite edgy material.
- Revealed they saw Tony in Dallas 6 months ago with caravan of 6, now performing as headliners.
Set: First-year comedian from San Diego discussed liking basic things to compensate for lack of social skills, people comparing her appearance to various characters (Mad Max, Stranger Things, Mad Magazine), and wondering what she looks like.
Interview: Discussed being 27, one year into comedy, living in Pasadena, not being a lesbian despite short hair, enjoying dog park with wife, smoking weed and church, and the value of learning from roasting.
- Likes basic things to remind her of social cues because she lacks them; doesn't understand what she looks like.
- Various people compare her appearance to Mad Max, Stranger Things 11, Mad Magazine cover boy, and young Mark Cuban.
- Tony called her out for saying she likes basic things while having masculine appearance; jokes landed better when audience laughed at her reactions.
- Jeff Ross gave coaching on how the audience's organic reaction to her overreaction improved her set.
Set: Comedian from Congo discussed being grateful for comedy despite having used it before in difficult conditions, told story about his family in Congo focusing on water bottle rather than joke structure.
Interview: Revealed he repeated the same minute he'd performed on Kill Tony previously; Tony criticized him for not bringing new material despite knowing the expectations of the show.
- Family in Congo used to watch his comedy but focused on water bottle on stage instead of joke structure.
- Caught repeating the exact same minute he'd performed previously on the show; heavily criticized by Tony and panel.
- Jeremiah's newscaster character made dark joke about him hanging himself after being called out for recycled material.
Set: Orange County native discussed looking like Winnie the Pooh on parole, smoking marijuana making him want to go to the gym, and a joke about naming weed dispensaries using white vacation destinations and medical terms.
Interview: Discussed nervous performance, almost 5 years of comedy, working as a YouTube videographer, weed motivation for gym, attending 24 Hour Fitness at odd hours, reading Brené Brown self-help book, coming out of depressive episode.
- Looks like Winnie the Pooh on parole; marijuana makes him want to go to the gym.
- Weed dispensary naming formula: take something white people see on vacation plus medical word (e.g., Killer Whale Suppositories).
- Visibly nervous and out of breath throughout set; showed genuine fandom and excitement about being on the show.
- Jeff Ross coached him on needing to do more sets per week to improve his comedy consistency.
Set: Disabled Coast Guard veteran discussed the consequences of his life choices, bleeding rectum from prescribed drugs he calls 'man's period', and made jokes about his physical deterioration.
Interview: Discussed Coast Guard service during Katrina, wrecked car, homeless situation, carnivore diet for health issues, cataplexy condition, walking 16 miles with gear, Oura ring tracking, back injury at 23, working on health for 7 years.
- Disabled veteran joke about bleeding rectum from prescribed drugs; calls it a man's period.
- Wonders what loved ones would think of him based on his ass while dealing with health deterioration.
- Raw and honest set about genuine health struggles; Jeff Ross praised his honesty compared to over-the-top beginner jokes.
- Revealed homelessness, wrecked car, and mental health struggles; Jeff Ross gave inspirational advice about his journey.
- Tony's genuine concern and Jeff's mentorship moment; audience was moved by his resilience despite hardship.
Set: Returned performer discussed dreaming her dead grandmother went down on her, being a millennial tired of generational criticism, and waiting for parents to die to afford homes.
Interview: Discussed waiting a year between appearances, being asthmatic with 7-year-old fanny pack for inhaler, waitressing 10 years at Mario Batali restaurant, story of cracked out customers throwing copper pan.
- Had dream grandma went down on her and she kind of liked it; nice to see her though.
- Millennials waiting for parents to die to buy homes; jokes about generational criticism of instant gratification.
- Jeff Ross gave honest feedback on her strong comedic voice and Chrissie Hynde-like aloof style.
- Fanny pack game revealing contents: inhaler, phone without case, pens, dirty napkin.
Set: Regular on the show performing absurdist material about being fired from Home Shopping Network, living in tree, falling and breaking neck, working at antique mall with beanie babies, stealing people's bags and candy bars.
Interview: Discussed recent neck injury from falling out of tree watching eclipse, recent job at antique mall, stealing activities, parents visiting next week wanting to take Tony to dinner, only been in LA a year.
- Recently fired from Home Shopping Network; addicted to drug spice and lived in tree.
- Single, holding out for black or Oriental woman; started working antique mall, guy tried selling beanie babies.
- Stealing bags at Jacksonville Airport, using neck brace injury as cover; slipping on Butterfinger bars at 7-elevens.
- Jeff Ross visibly moved and crying during set; praised William's genuine absurdist style.
- Tony mentioned William's rise from random bucket pull to becoming a regular on the show.
- William's parents visiting next week; Jeff offered to come to dinner with them.
Jake McCowan
Set: Marine infantryman performed jokes about ex-wife dying of cancer on deathbed asking him to leave house, learning babysitter payment timing rules, and misunderstanding entrapment.
Interview: Discussed being Marines infantryman, deployed Iraq and Afghanistan 7 months each, coming from Sacramento, drove to LA just for Kill Tony, first time getting stage time after three prior visits.
- Ex-wife died of cancer during divorce; wanted house over his dead body; learned babysitter payment timing rules.
- Revealed jokes were actually his best friend's true story; friend never got on stage so Jake performs them.
- Tony praised his American hero status as Marine who came back and attempted comedy.
- Drove from Sacramento to LA just for Kill Tony; drove back same night; three-time visitor finally performing.
Jake Beckman
Set: Performed extremely offensive material about mistaking ugly women for transvestites, dead babies losing virginity at Catholic churches, priest abuse, and hermaphrodite dating dynamics.
Interview: Discussed being experimented with new material, made comedy album on iTunes before starting stand-up in 2014, previous adult film career as 'Jake Ariston', recently released rap single response to Katy Perry called 'To Katy Perry'.
- Mistakes ugly women for transvestites; rule: uglier women have thicker mustaches.
- Only way dead baby loses virginity is body dumped at Catholic church due to priest abuse.
- Transvestite dating hermaphrodite prefer being called thing one and thing two.
- Audience member Cassandra revealed she was transgender and threw her jacket at Jake in response to his offensive set.
- Tony and panel voted to make Jake retire as stand-up comedian due to horrible set.
- Revealed he spent 5 years on cannabis cultivation growing Charlotte's Web CBD strain for epilepsy-afflicted children.
- Jeff Ross complimented Cassandra for her response; instructed Jake to punch up his material better.