Kill Tony #167 — David Arquette, Steve Simeone
Guests: David Arquette · Steve Simeone
Lineup
Set: Set about online dating apps like Tinder, saposexual attraction, and the statistics of Asian women on dating platforms. Ended with a story about how he met his high school girlfriend at an ice rink.
Interview: Discussed his background from Lancaster, California, his work in post-production, and his passion for hockey. Revealed he left a note in his girlfriend's glove asking her to be his girlfriend, though they broke up after 6 months.
- 75% of girls on Tinder are Asian, 100% of Asians will double-check the math.
- Saposexual means attracted to intelligence but everyone on Tinder claims it while being dumb.
- Told story about breaking up with high school girlfriend at ice rink when Zamboni guy arrived.
Set: Set about hitchhiking from Detroit, old prostitution jokes, and GPS technology. Discussed how main and reserve parachutes work and made wordplay about cats and sheep.
Interview: Discussed being from Detroit, visiting Los Angeles for 2 weeks, speaking sign language and Spanish, deaf culture, and his relationship status. Panel engaged with topics about deaf people and dating.
- Hitchhike mouth tired joke - oldest profession prostitution joke setup.
- Two cats plus a sheep do not equal payment for sex.
- Panel extensively discussed deaf culture and whether deaf people are more likely to be gay.
- Revealed he speaks sign language and Spanish, leading to panel coaching about incorporating into comedy.
Set: Dark comedy set about his alcoholic father from the 1980s, broken promises related to his level of intoxication, and the kindness of paramedics on Christmas morning.
Interview: Discussed his appearance as very white/albino, his background from Michigan now living in New York, owning a skateboard shop, and traveling to China where he had a threesome.
- How drunk dad was could be predicted by what he promised the night before.
- Dad promised to buy any car but vomited an hour later instead.
- Tony complimented Max's dark humor about his father's alcoholism, noting it was well-crafted.
Set: Set about buying a couch on Craigslist and inviting a stranger to their apartment, joke about being too weak to defend themselves. Discussed wanting to do stand-up for a living and worrying about disappointing her father by not being a son.
Interview: Discussed graduating from Harvard, being in Los Angeles for comedy, her father's desire for a son, dating history (Korean American and current white boyfriend), and experiences with cleaning services. Panel praised her material.
- Bought couch on Craigslist, stranger now knows where they live and they're weak.
- Wants to do stand-up but worries about disappointing father who wanted a son.
- Panel noted Sierra schooled all previous comedians with Harvard-level material at age 21.
- Three-year storyline callback - audience has watched Sierra grow from age 18 at Harvard to graduated 21.
Set: Set about trying to date smart guys in youth, having children with a rich man, redefining words for jobs, and needing work. Discussed being a procreator and the irony of masturbating vs having sex.
Interview: Discussed her background as former musician, nonprofit work, vegan lifestyle, three children with ex-partner living situation, traveling to India to study yoga, and various hobbies. Extensive discussion about vegan condoms and sex toy cleaning.
- Smart guys didn't help intelligence, should have gone to college instead.
- Has three children (procreator) and picked rich guy so they'd get trust fund.
- Extended panel riffing about vegan condoms, sex toys, and her dishwasher cleaning method.
- Bella demonstrated yoga pose on stage during joke delivery.
Set: Set acknowledging her appearance as dumb white woman, internally identifying as grumpy old man, jokes about guys not liking Steve Jobs roleplay during sex, and sarcasm about her intelligence.
Interview: Discussed shooting Bravo docu-series about African royal family, producer credit, acting as racist white person character, and relationship with black boyfriend. Panel praised set timing and personality-driven comedy.
- Looks like dumb white woman but internally identifies as grumpy old man.
- Guys don't like when she says 'fuck me like Steve Jobs' during sex.
- Tony praised Vanessa's opening joke as one of best sets of night, using appearance as weapon.
- Vanessa writes and performs brand new 60-second set every single week.
Set: Set about being 47-year-old black NASCAR fan, sucking at stick ball sports, only four black drivers in 67-year history, bringing representation to NASCAR, and letting Asian girlfriend drive.
Interview: Discussed being parachute rigger, packing rescue parachutes, 800+ jumps, test parachutist in Navy, dating girlfriend for 4 years (Indian), off-roading, camping, and his political views. Panel engaged extensively about test parachutists and demographics.
- Only four black NASCAR drivers in 67 years, could represent and change meaning of 'racist'.
- Let Asian girlfriend drive on days when sick to do 'fuck like that'.
- Red Band mentioned similar comedian Daryl Wright also black NASCAR fan who works for NASCAR.
- Extended panel discussion about test parachutists and Kevin's 800+ jumps.
- Kevin's father was going to skydive but friend's parachute failed day before, she died.