KILL TONY Wiki

Kill Tony #250 — Greg Fitzsimmons

📅 February 5, 2018 📍 Los Angeles, CA Comedy Store Main Room 🎤 9 comedians

Guests: Greg Fitzsimmons

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Lineup

1

Aaron McCann

Set: Irish newcomer jokes about his mother's Facebook habits, his recent move from Ireland with 29 roommates in Echo Park, and his experience as a waiter.

Interview: Tony and Greg learn Aaron just moved to LA two weeks ago, lives in a house with 29 roommates paying $700/month, and recently had sex in his pod with a Wisconsin girl.

Bits:
  • Mother takes Facebook quizzes, got Princess Elsa but is Hunchback of Belfast
  • 29 roommates at $700/month in four-bedroom house with pods
Moments:
  • Aaron reveals he had sex in his pod during first week in LA
  • Tony jokes about turning 29 roommates into profit scheme
2

John Pridmore

Set: Gay comedian from Pittsburgh discusses being gay since childhood, his high school coming-out story involving making out with punk band members, and his vanilla sexuality.

Interview: Tony discovers John has a very feminine voice despite masculine appearance, is 35, has been doing stand-up for 11 years, and works cleaning houses for low pay.

Bits:
  • Born in 80s with feminine voice, sounded gay as kid calling friends
  • Coming out in high school led to everyone experimenting with him
Moments:
  • Tony notes dramatic contrast between John's appearance and his voice
  • John admits to stuffing carrots in his butt
3

Steve Torelli

Set: Short Hispanic comedian with long arms describes his filthy apartment, riding the bus, and how girls look better on public transit.

Interview: Greg and Tony explore Steve's unusual physical proportions, masturbation technique (slow slapping motion learned at 15), work in retirement home, and creepy neighbor listening habits.

Bits:
  • Dirty apartment makes people think he's squatting or murdered the owner
  • Girls look better on the bus due to low standards of comparison
Moments:
  • Extensive interview about Steve's unique masturbation technique done since age 15
  • Tony compares Steve to Baba Booey due to physical proportions
4

Ichabod

Set: Homeless character from Las Vegas does absurdist set about sending dick pic to Kathy Griffin, cutting off head with steak knife, and daily habits.

Interview: Tony learns Ichabod took 6-7 hour Greyhound bus from Las Vegas, lives with uncle Ron who is a cocaine-using blackjack dealer, DJs at dive bar, and dances naked to Lady Gaga alone.

Bits:
  • Sent dick pic to Kathy Griffin as joke, cut head off with steak knife
  • Diet consists of Coca-Cola, Cheerios, fish sticks, and normal tree sticks
Moments:
  • Ichabod announces he dances naked to Lady Gaga Born This Way when alone
  • Tony notes Ichabod took 6-7 hour greyhound bus and plans to sleep in tent
5

Glenn Bolton

Set: Black comedian from Kansas City discusses being comfortable enough for Africans to trash-talk other Black people around him, gas station encounter with African man.

Interview: Glenn is on show for first time, moved to LA 1.5 years ago, does temp work and Postmates, plays acoustic guitar and sings country music, plays drums.

Bits:
  • Just Black enough that Africans feel comfortable trashing other Black people
  • Gas station encounter with African man assuming he's from Africa
Moments:
  • Glenn performs original country song about relationship with lyrics 'she wants all of the above'
  • Glenn plays drums in drum battle with Mexican drummer Joel Berg
6

Eric Fischer

Set: 24-year-old from Raleigh, NC uses only word 'bitch' to call women, discusses lack of vocabulary and how term is overused.

Interview: Eric lives in car, dropped out of college, is bipolar manic-depressive off medication, had only oral sex, lost virginity in car to Black girl from psych ward, has upcoming Amazon interviews.

Bits:
  • Only calls women 'bitch', overuses term, no vocabulary variety
Moments:
  • Eric reveals he's 24-year-old virgin who only received oral sex in psych ward
  • Tony notes Eric has verbal tics and anger issues toward women
  • Eric describes bipolar diagnosis but refuses medication, uses walks to manage
7

Darius Bennett

Set: Detroit comic new to LA, jokes about girlfriend thinking he's cheating, unexpected bucket pull, and joke about Chrysler hiring.

Interview: Darius moved to LA two months ago, lives on couches, girlfriend is back in Detroit as equipment manager, does standing room only extra work, sleeps until noon.

Bits:
  • Girlfriend thinks he's cheating, he actually is
  • People keep telling him Chrysler is hiring, received text twice
Moments:
  • Darius initially doesn't want to go up but Tony pushes him to perform
8

Jason Acuna

Set: Wee Man (Jackass star) discusses 11-inch femur rod from spiral fracture, TSA airport security experiences with fake cavity checks.

Interview: Wee Man owns Chronic Tacos restaurants, flies weekly, trains for American Ninja Warrior, drinks wine now after 4-year sobriety from alcohol poisoning, opening Japan location.

Bits:
  • 11-inch femur rod creates TSA complications, mistaken for cavity checks
Moments:
  • Wee Man describes how he got femur spiral fracture doing 50/50 grind on mini-ramp
  • Wee Man reveals he owns Chronic Tacos with locations in Burbank, Long Beach, Glendale, NC, Hawaii
9

Tyson Faifer

Set: 37-year-old comedian with rescue pitbull describes apartment rental discrimination against pit bulls, solution of putting blond wig on dog to pass as golden retriever.

Interview: Tyson been in LA one year, from Dallas, does stand-up full-time and acting, been on American Ninja Warrior twice, sells t-shirts with titties print, been on multiple reality dating shows.

Bits:
  • Pitbull discrimination in apartments solved by blond wig, dog identifies as golden retriever
Moments:
  • Tyson reveals he's been on American Ninja Warrior twice, first comedian on show
  • Tyson admits to poor dating luck in LA due to ghosting, different from Texas