Kill Tony #247 — Pete Holmes
Guests: Pete Holmes
Lineup
Set: Rivera discussed her unconventional upbringing with a prostitute grandmother, Orthodox Mormon parents, and her recent move from Nova Scotia to LA with a ten-year-old daughter while her husband and child are in Mexico. She incorporated personal family stories with observational humor about Mormon culture and her current life situation.
Interview: Tony and panel probed her Mormon background, mission refusal, family situation in Mexico, job as a tour manager, and her move to LA three weeks prior. Discussed her separation from family and aspirations in comedy.
- Grandmother shoplifted father from drawer like a gremlin, sold ass professionally for 40 years.
- Grew up in retirement home for horse prostitutes; looks so Mormon temple let her in.
- Tony and Pete became genuinely invested in her real-life story about family in Mexico and green card situation
- Pete offered her a joke about half-American, half-Mexican, half-Canadian family
Mike Falon
Set: Lubin opened about his love of extreme metal and blackened death metal, then made a joke about the Columbine killers potentially having a demo tape that would be the holy grail of that genre, asking authorities to leak it.
Interview: Discussion covered his start in stand-up in 2014, current job as barista at Vons Starbucks with required beard net, expulsion from Oaks Christian high school for selling tobacco to freshmen, homeschooling completion, and his music making.
- Columbine killers' demo tape locked in Littleton Police evidence room is holy grail of metal.
- Someone from Lubin's alma mater Oaks Christian high school interrupted his set from audience; Tony and panel asked him about it
- Revealed he was sold tobacco to freshmen and was on academic probation before being home-schooled
CJ Price
Set: Price joked about being in a seven-year relationship with his girlfriend since age 17, used Michael Jordan retirement analogy, referenced concerts and bars near his place where he goes with girlfriend.
Interview: Revealed his father is currently serving prison time for a murder committed when Price was 20; his father had killed a man who broke into their house and stole his grandmother's jewelry. Discussed the legal case with a lawyer who worked on early California murder cases.
- Seven-year relationship means if breakup happens, he's forgotten how to get game back.
- Michael Jordan retired and came back won three championships; cautionary tale of layoff.
- Jay-Z concert for nine dollars nothing will ever compare; barbershop haircut costs more.
- Revealed his father is serving time for shooting an intruder twice; panel deeply engaged with the story
- Tony made dark joke about CJ following father's murderous traits
Set: Wallace joked about considering walking into traffic to pet a cute puppy, told his girlfriend about it and she was concerned, described the puppy's characteristics including its small size and biting motions.
Interview: Discussed his job in fenestration products sales, living alone for two months, being pulled over while fingering his girlfriend who was drunk driving, and various personal details about his appearance and habits.
- Considered walking into traffic to pet adorable puppy; girlfriend questioned his logic.
- Long extended interview where Jeff gradually revealed story of drunk girlfriend driving and being arrested
- Tony made extended jokes about Jeff's straight body hair and emo appearance
Set: Mack performed a two-minute set while experiencing intense spice from eating hot chocolate, joked about returning from New York filming, picking girls' Instagram photos based on sweaters, and receiving contradictory fan messages on social media.
Interview: Extended interview covered his Instagram presence, hashtag strategy (with panel reading actual douchey hashtags from his posts), relationship history including a woman with STI from bad oral sex, his failed relationship due to telling her he moved to Alaska/got Deadliest Catch role, and his attraction to women with buck teeth.
- In New York it was so cold only liked girls' pics if wearing sweaters, liking cozy vibes.
- Fan messaged claiming he's funny and to keep going; he messaged back and got called a total [ __ ].
- Ate extremely spicy chocolate during set; remained seemingly unaffected throughout interview despite obvious physical distress
- Panel read Kevin's actual Instagram hashtags including #scary #fish #water #SunGlasses #FitFam revealing intentionally douchey branding
- Tony attempted to set up Kevin with bunny from audience; bunny appeared and Kevin made uncomfortable comments about women with buck teeth
Set: Wolfson opened about her mother being a judge, father being a district attorney, sister being a lawyer, and aunt being a cop, making it one giant Law & Order episode. Claimed her mother was the judge who put OJ Simpson in prison.
Interview: Discussed her family's legal background, smoking weed daily, growing up in Las Vegas, working at a dispensary, making memes, being grounded for sneaking out to have sex with boyfriend, and her parents' relationship dynamics.
- Mom is judge, dad is DA, sister is lawyer, aunt is cop = one giant Law & Order episode.
- Father showed her drug movie 'Traffic' instead of taking her for ice cream.
- Rachel revealed her mother was the judge who put OJ Simpson in prison; no follow-up confirmation
- Panel discussed her daily weed smoking and she explained she made memes