Kill Tony #325
Lineup
Set: Irish-Canadian comedian discusses smoking weed, getting women pregnant, and young mothers changing their Facebook profile pictures.
Interview: Aidan revealed he has two kids (one 1.5 years old, one 14 years old from previous relationships), was injured in a Dublin assault that fractured his hip, teaches English to Mexicans, and uses psychedelics.
- Snoop Dogg glamorized weed; he couldn't talk to people when smoking
- Young mother changed Facebook to baby picture, looks like Aidan in relationship with baby
- Audience member yelled during his set; Tony reprimanded the heckler
- Aidan revealed he was sucker-punched and sustained a shattered hip and leg injury in Dublin
- Aidan asked Tony for a job in Dublin on stage
Set: German comedian makes jokes about his nationality, losing his grandfather in the Holocaust (as a guard), and driving tired to achieve his death wish.
Interview: Achim is a first-time stand-up performer from Germany who works as a mailman, bike messenger, and tutor. He's touring Europe and will see Tony's shows in Manchester and London.
- Lost grandfather in Holocaust—he was a guard during lunch break
- Only drives car when tired to achieve sleep-death wish
- First-time stand-up performer received strong applause and Tony's praise; Tony called him a fan
- Revealed he's flying to Manchester and London for Tony's shows
PM Spunk
Set: Hairless spoken-word poet performs rhyming poetry about being defenseless, having a palace in his mind, and looking like Blue Man Group without makeup.
Interview: PM Spunk is 24 years old, just finished chemotherapy, does spoken word as a living, and worked at IKEA. Has a girlfriend of six months with no pubic hair.
- Has no hair, defenseless against water and debris
- Time after time poetry: if lost in mind palace, will find him
- Tony compared him to Blue Man Group and Eminem with M&M-shaped head
- Did Tony Hinchcliffe impression while answering questions about his work
- Panel discovered he works/worked at IKEA selling velcro
Set: First-time performer makes jokes calling out Freddie Mercury, Harvey Weinstein, and Celine Dion; mentions his birthday and a made-up girlfriend from Fukushima.
Interview: Chris is 24, celebrating his birthday, married (not dating), works for a telecom company, and competes in iron stomach competitions eating unusual items.
- Called out Freddie Mercury and Harvey Weinstein in opening
- Japanese girlfriend from Fukushima joke about tentacle porn
- It's his 24th birthday and he's performing
- Demonstrated ability to chug Guinness in 3.5 seconds
- Wife present at show; Tony made crude jokes about her
Set: Musical comedian performs original song about detecting quality cocaine, with rhyming verses about smell, taste, and effects. Strong singing voice and performance.
Interview: Richie does musical comedy (3.5 years), went viral on TikTok while on MDMA, lived in Amsterdam as tour guide in red-light district, now on social welfare in Ireland.
- Song: how to tell if you got good blow—smell, taste, numbness checks
- Strong musical performance received significant applause; Tony called him talented
- Joined the Kill Tony band playing guitar after his set
- Revealed he went viral on TikTok while on MDMA
Set: First-time female performer with very thick Irish accent; jokes about PC World/Curry's with Indian workers and racist observations about immigration.
Interview: Ashlee is 24/25, unemployed, between industrial cleaning jobs, single, grew up in New Zealand, skateboarded, visited volcanoes, has extended belt.
- PC World store called Curry's with Indian workers—racist observation
- Tony couldn't understand her thick Irish accent for most of set
- Tony made harsh appearance-based insults comparing her to Geico caveman
- Audience member heckled; Tony had him removed and audience could pour drinks on him
Set: First-timer discusses living with parents, father's affair and infidelity lesson, and mother's brutal joke about his hairline looking like Stevie Wonder's egg-frying attempt.
Interview: Jim has been doing comedy less than a year, works in advertising as liaison between clients and production, plays drums, and boyfriend encouraged him to perform.
- Father had affair; told Jim he had good time management with two women
- Mother: hairline looks like Stevie Wonder's attempt at frying eggs
- Tight set with strong punchline delivery; Salvador praised tight pants and set
- Participated in drum solo battle against Joel Berg (Joburg Zola Jimenez)
- Lost drum solo battle to defending champion Joel Berg
Set: First-time performer discusses father's infidelity, time management skills of cheaters, watching '12 Years a Slave' repeatedly, and fantasy about having two women.
Interview: Scott saw Aaron McCann on Kill Tony podcast and was inspired. First time doing stand-up. Has a younger brother Jamie (22) also present. Was in New Zealand for rugby.
- Father juggled two women; had better time management than single dad
- Watched '12 Years a Slave' repeatedly; dad must relate to prison fantasy
- Brother Jamie brought on stage; Tony roasted both for baby-like appearance
- Tony compared both brothers to babies and rugby balls
- Scott and brother have genetic baby-face condition
Set: Seasoned performer (6 years, multiple Kill Tony spots) discusses Tinder in Dublin, astrology-skepticism, Girl Scout cookies as pedophile delivery service.
Interview: Aaron has done 5-6 Kill Tony spots, lives in Dublin but was LA-based. Misses LA freedom but not the constant self-pleasure/gaming. Plans to become major Irish comedian.
- Virgo means parents had sex around Christmas
- Girl Scout cookies are delivery service for pedophiles
- Returning Kill Tony performer; had appeared 5-6 times prior
- Tony praised him and predicted major comedy career success
Jack Burn
Set: First-time performer discusses punching ginger guys, substance abuse (olive oil addiction), and feminist complaints about male gaze being tired and hypocritical.
Interview: Jack cleans bars (4-5 years), found various items on bar floor, resells stolen phones to Chinese people, does Ali Wong impressions.
- Punched by ginger; wanted to murder black men for 5 weeks
- Friend's olive oil addiction—started as weekend thing, became serious
- Sang 'Sittin on the Dock of the Bay' with band backup
- Tony loved his singing; asked for encore-style reprise
Tony Zuniga
Set: American from Ohio/Michigan, first time performing. Jokes about having a baby wife vs. owning dog, asking dog owners creepy questions about breed.
Interview: Tony is American from Michigan/Ohio living in Dublin 2 years. Married to Irish woman; met on New Year's Eve in NYC Times Square. Works abroad.
- Wife had baby; they prefer dogs; what questions can't you ask dog owners
- Tony only did 46 seconds instead of full 60-second set; bombed
- Tony decided to replace him with Irish comedian Gordo Brennan instead
Set: Final performer: discusses being single on Valentine's, perverted 26-year-old living with parents, hipster neo-Nazi appearance, dress to look younger, Charlottesville references.
Interview: Gordo has performed 1-2 times before, is an artist/drawer on benefits (social welfare), unemployed 1 year, last job was marketing/sales for construction.
- Single guy looks like perverted 46-year-old living with parents
- Dresses like hipster neo-Nazi to look younger; hipsters out of date
- Jelena (band member) became very attracted to Gordo; wanted selfie
- Tony compared Gordo to Monopoly Guy on human growth hormone