Kill Tony #324 — Tiffany Haddish
Guests: Tiffany Haddish
Lineup
Set: Eric discussed Las Vegas sins, sex offenders in America, and a friend named Ryan who became a sex offender after public urination. He mentioned being unclear about the legality of exposing oneself on children.
Interview: Eric revealed he's 24, from Oregon, has been traveling the US for two years working for nonprofits on environmental causes, lived in an RV without running water, and uses gym memberships for bathroom access.
- 750,000 sex offenders in US; 12 states allow designation just for public urination.
- Friend Ryan got drunk and had to pee on some kids, becoming registered sex offender.
- Tony made observation that Eric looks like 'a young man who's standing on someone else's shoulders inside of a jacket' and resembles hipster Bobby Hill.
- Revealed he lived in RV without running water and uses gym membership for bathroom facilities, leading to extended questioning about defecation methods.
Set: Ahmed discussed working out to get girls but only receiving compliments from other men, attending Islamic private school in Texas, and his best friend being his high school bully.
Interview: Ahmed revealed it was his second time on the show, he's three years into stand-up, born June 18, 1993, and has an accounting degree. Extended discussion about his dating history with Black women and sexual techniques.
- Worked out since 15 for girls but only gets compliments from other gym guys.
- Fat Egyptian kid beat me up in bathroom then asked to play Guitar Hero with fire flames.
- Ahmed won $100 from Tiffany after performing realistic mock cunnilingus on her elbow, beating Vinny Mancino in air pussy eating contest.
- Revealed he's a '9/11 type of brown' while discussing TSA interactions, then made Obama Sutra reference.
Set: Malik performed Black History Month jokes centered on watching Family Feud with his grandmother and the absurdity of contestants' answers, including a contestant answering 'Jose' to a man's name starting with H and 'pork you pine' to words following 'pork.'
Interview: Malik revealed he was a professional boxer for 3 years after training for 14 years, got injured and stopped, now trains other comedians and works at Wild Card Boxing Gym with Freddie Roach and Manny Pacquiao.
- Black guy confidently answers 'Jose' to 'name a man's name beginning with H'.
- Contestant answers 'pork you pine' instead of pork chop or pork ribs.
- Discussed training Manny Pacquiao and watching him jump rope, with unusual calves that barely leave ground when jumping.
- Extended callback about Eddie Murphy's house where Tiffany bowled and stole candy, with Tony jokingly offering Eddie an appearance on Kill Tony.
Set: Alexia discussed dating in LA, justifying sexual encounters based on minimal positive male behavior (not ghosting, texting back), and using Blackness as leverage against men who play her, mentioning 400 years of slavery as justification.
Interview: Alexia is 27, has been doing stand-up on-and-off for 3 years only when smoking blunt and drinking beers. She revealed her friend brought her to the show unexpectedly and that she had a crush on a guy named Austin who played her.
- Guy didn't ghost, so she sucked his dick; another texted back, so she let him do anal.
- Uses 400 years of slavery to guilt trip men who try to play her romantically.
- Austin, her friend and the guy who played her, was brought on stage and kissed Alexia for $100, leading to relationship speculation.
- Tiffany and Alexia bonded over being compared, with Tiffany correcting the characterization of Alexia as 'thicker Tiffany Haddish' and asserting her own accomplishments.
Set: Gerardo did extended bits about cholos with sweet names, particularly one named Cookie, including jokes about homophobia, yoga comparisons to gang signs, and cookie-based metaphors about life.
Interview: Second-time performer who does splits for money ($4/$20), has been doing comedy 4 years mostly in Inland Empire, born in Colton, both parents Mexican, dad works for German chocolate company Stork, mom is travel agent.
- Cholos with sweet names like Cookie are scary; Cookie was homophobic when friend Spider came out.
- Yoga poses are like gang signs with your body; tells tough cholo 'yoga poses are gang signs'.
- Gerardo challenged Joel to Mexican drum off, performing impressive drum solo and beating Joel in a controversial decision.
- Performed splits on stage for tip money and discussed flexibility from yoga practice.
Set: William did absurdist bits about Where's Waldo obsession, a condition limiting him to anal sex, a fake movie called 'Where Are My Fucking Keys,' and a fake Craigslist encounter with Tiffany where he met her after responding to a personal ad and they hooked up at Motel 8.
Interview: William is the show's regular (performs new minute weekly), claimed his parents on last week's show were actually Craigslist strangers, admitted to using HGH injections for height, discussed an Instagram troll 'Cracker Barrel Kid 52,' and answered questions about his belly.
- Spent two days looking for Waldo; people say six hours, I say fuck off.
- Has condition where he only does anal sex; Dracula happy when girlfriend on period.
- Met Tiffany on Craigslist after she posted 'lonely as fuck, looking for fire crotch'; they hooked up at Motel 8 for $42.
- William and Tiffany engaged in extended bit where she added details to his Craigslist story, building on his lies about their encounter.
- William revealed he's been using HGH injections since last Tuesday to get taller, not to build muscle.
- Defended himself against Instagram troll 'Cracker Barrel Kid 52' with Tiffany joining in, adding her own warnings about his parents.
Set: Hollywood Joker, wearing a wrestling mask, performed a romantic poem to 'Maria' expressing love, admiration, and sexual appreciation, then revealed heartbreak when she slept with ten other men.
Interview: First-time performer on Kill Tony, from Mexico City, currently works as a baker making pan dulce (Mexican sweet bread) at a panaderia, has 12 kids he hasn't met, wearing mask to hide from cops, interested in challenging Joel to drum off.
- Romantic poem praising Maria's body and presence, ending with rage about her infidelity.
- Hollywood Joker challenged Joel Berg to Mexican drum off in his first appearance, performing an impressive drum solo with evident practice.
- Joel Berg retained his drummer position after Hollywood Joker's first drum challenge, with Joel performing acrobatic drumming with leg behind head.
- Tiffany observed the sock was filled and saw 'the shaft' or 'dick root' when Joel put his leg behind his head.