Kill Tony #327

Set: Mike discusses his current hemorrhoids, suppositories, and his girlfriend's interest in inserting them for him. He works as a bartender at the oldest pub in Leeds.

Interview: Tony learns Mike is from Leeds, works at a pub, was previously a graphic designer, and has witnessed a violent HIV-positive regular stabbing incident at his bar.

Set: Noah makes jokes about not enjoying orgies due to worrying who will meet him next, difficulty organizing female orgies, and disabled toilet cushions. He came in 30 seconds during anniversary sex and cried.

Interview: Tony learns Noah met his girlfriend of 3 years at a club through friends, works in a warehouse, enjoys getting drunk and fighting, and plays phone games on the toilet giving him hemorrhoids.

Set: Oli's first stand-up set discusses having a baby boy, changing diapers, and can't find a good name. Makes joke about disabled toilet cushions and calls himself more Irish.

Interview: Tony learns this is Oli's first time doing stand-up, he's a financial adviser specializing in doctors, his baby boy is 6 months old, and he previously trained in Thai boxing.

Set: Massey jokes about his Iranian name meaning Messiah and his parents being very in love, wanting to go back in time to seduce his younger self, and asks if that makes him a pedo.

Interview: Tony learns Massey is half-Iranian half-English, can't return to Iran due to military service, had A-Team LP confiscated at Iranian immigration as propaganda, is flexible and can nearly touch his dick with his tongue.

Set: Lee's tight set jokes about dinner ladies, Stephen Hawking not doing cardio, wariness of childless people using 'smooth as baby's bum,' and early porn exposure preventing molestation.

Interview: Tony learns Lee has been doing stand-up for exactly 2 years, works as analyst in corporate finance, plays poker in casinos, has been with girlfriend for 12 years without marriage, and is skeptical of commitment.

Set: Mooch discusses being half-Kodaka, half-Irish, half-Lebanese making him a 'perfect terrorist,' growing up in Saudi Arabia, celebrating multiple holidays, and finding relationships difficult with examples like forced ice-skating.

Interview: Tony learns Mooch has been doing stand-up 6 months, is an event organizer, recently started an open mic at Vaults in Vauxhall, used to DJ, and gets drunk and fights.

Set: Jackson's set compares Australia being 10 years behind technologically, discusses his place in comedy world, and uses weak pickup lines about women.

Interview: Tony learns Jackson is Australian, visa ran out in Canada so came to UK as Commonwealth fallback, was signed up by a friend with 30-minute prep, attempted pickup lines at bars.

Set: Hunter's set is disorganized, focuses on audience being projections of his universe, gives credit to Allah for existence, receiving kitten timeout signal.

Interview: Tony learns Hunter is American from Atlanta, master's student in Paris studying sustainable agriculture, has poor set construction, ends with anti-British insults.

Set: Velik wears Mr. Bean mask while discussing Egyptian hieroglyphics, sperm composition, and that semen is healthy for all genders.

Interview: Tony learns Velik is Bulgarian, 24 years old, lives in Denmark studying Environmental Management, works as male cleaning lady for 2 years, bought Mr. Bean mask for 3.50 pounds to surprise friend.

Set: Ahmed discusses first time going down on a girl, not knowing what to do with fluids, pretending nothing happened after, then spitting it into tissue on bus.

Interview: Tony compliments Ahmed's honest delivery and original style despite not getting biggest laughs, learns he's been doing stand-up 5 years, came from Norway with friend to see Kill Tony.

Set: Rob discusses being 28 with full-time job and girlfriend, attempting hide-and-seek with girlfriend and housemates who criticize his immaturity.

Interview: Tony learns Rob has been doing comedy 3 years, works at BBC as data wrangler for documentaries, is a fan of Louis Theroux.

Set: Henry's first set jokes about sex without condom like Russian roulette, girlfriend being pro-choice, mate with shark eyes deserving punches, and using God's plan excuse for problems.

Interview: Tony learns Henry is 26, Australian, flew to London for Kill Tony, his sister recently had baby 8 months ago, works as retail manager at game store equivalent.