Kill Tony #368
Lineup
Set: Musician discussing creepy weddings, wedding themes, and Catholic wedding traditions with observations about religious hypocrisy and personal rebelliousness.
Interview: Revealed he's running for town councilman in a 7,000-person town on Airbnb regulation platform. Discussed community-first politics, vegetarianism, and various hobbies including beekeeping and bluegrass music.
- Weddings feature increasingly bizarre themes (My Little Pony, Star Wars, Game of Thrones) with incestuous undertones.
- Catholic weddings emphasize woman's place in relationship and unrelatable Bible stories like Job.
- Tony and panel extensively discuss his political platform, treating his town council campaign as serious civic discussion rather than comedy roast.
- Bison character attempts to offer bison milk to Colin; attempted physical comedy moment.
Set: Discusses pregnancy, incontinence from childbirth and daily life, reframing urinary incontinence as squirting, and motherhood challenges with relatable female humor.
Interview: Commercial insurance agent with 6-year-old daughter. Discussed peeing herself, complicated relationship with baby daddy, various ethnicities, and love for activities with her daughter.
- Pregnancy and postpartum incontinence - pees herself sneezing, coughing, during sex; reframes as squirting.
- Red band visibly excited and engaged during her interview, unusual level of panel enthusiasm.
- Offers to let Colin touch her, then Tony offers to check in with bison character (Gymnast).
- Walks on hands across stage during interview - physical demonstration of athletic ability.
Set: Barista discussing throat pain from unclear cause, attempts at saving money (girlfriend lactation joke), missing cat with poor logic (lactose intolerant/lacks toes), Jewish cat references.
Interview: 34-year-old barista doing stand-up 7-8 months. Banned twice from venue for hat and Timberlands. Got fired from grocery store for accepting free lunch in exchange for compliments; has a 6-month girlfriend met at grocery store.
- Girlfriend lactation joke confused with bean bag swallowing, unclear punchline structure.
- Missing cat for three years due to internet's cat-calling stance; cat was lactose intolerant (lacks toes).
- Extensive interview about venue's discriminatory door policy banning hats, Timberlands, and black patrons.
- Tony shares personal anecdote about wearing borrowed collared shirt to LA venue, establishing rapport.
Set: Self-deprecating appearance jokes, dog breed assumptions based on listener race, quitting drinking, sobriety bar anxiety, rescued dog story with dog acting out during set.
Interview: 5-6 years stand-up experience from Peekskill, NY. Works in plumbing/construction. Single 4 years, single date month-and-a-half ago (metal concert). Discussed old people telling racist jokes and Kmart employment.
- Air drumming to rap music visual comparison; white people assume pitbull, black people assume German Shepherd.
- Dog born with two clitorises nicknamed Beans; sober people need back area at bars like dogs at park.
- Dog (Beans/Mimi) acts out on stage, escapes, creates physical comedy moment during set.
- Recalls racist Kmart joke from elderly customer about store catering to Spanish people (Kay Martinez pun).
Set: Hungarian immigrant family discussing Trump deportation fears, cousin's panic at bar sanctuary name, family citizenship test failures (George Washington Bridge answer, '84c' instead of 50 states).
Interview: AT&T cell phone sales, 5 years. Has three kids (8, 6, 2) with ex-girlfriend, recently broken up due to toxicity. Ex used to physically beat him. Works at AT&T, enjoys dancing.
- Mother failed citizenship test: answered 'George Washington Bridge' for first president, '84c' for number of states.
- Cousin panicked at bar called 'Sanctuary' thinking Secret Service was coming for him.
- Tony repeatedly corrects Ellen/Oprah reference (host errors attributed to Ellen, not Oprah with chair giveaway).
- Extended discussion of abusive ex-girlfriend who physically beat him; Tony and panel coach him to explain incidents.
- Gilbert demonstrates dancing on stage during interview.
Joyce
Set: Observational humor about name Joyce being either for young Asian woman or elderly woman. Discussed multiple Joyces at office, became Joyce 3 after Joyce 1 died.
Interview: From Taiwan, lived in US 6 years, NYU marketing degree. Boyfriend Justin is juggler met at pole dancing show (bison themed). Four-year relationship, came to Kill Tony through podcast listening.
- Joyce name trajectory: young Asian woman or elderly woman; became Joyce 3 after original Joyce died.
- First episode, very nervous, came short on 51 seconds, but received warmth from Tony and panel.
- Introduced her boyfriend Justin Wood Circus, who performs on same episode for first time.
Set: Juggling comedy - discusses TikTok virality vs circus training inadequacy, how-to-draw-a-pig song going viral with millions of views, comparing traditional circus vs modern influencer success.
Interview: Kentucky native, first time stand-up. Street performer making $10/hour juggling in NYC. Performs 6-8 hours daily to perfect craft. Juggles balls and slinky on stage. Has Instagram viral videos including no-smoking-sign vandalism art pieces.
- TikTok viral 15-second pig-drawing song gets millions of views while circus training gets zero attention.
- Performs live juggling and slinky tricks during set and interview, drops balls into ceiling multiple times.
- Sang pig-drawing song live: 'one circle one circle one big circle... nipple nipple nipple'
- Extensive coaching from Tony about finding internet presence and building fanbase like he did with TikTok.
- Joyce assists with juggling balls as his assistant during performance.
Set: Los Angeles trip for birthday, comparing fakeness of LA vs NYC, influencer culture critique, CBD serum influencer selling anti-aging to 19-year-old girl with fine lines and libido claims.
Interview: Owns fitness studio, from Hyde Park 20 minutes north of Poughkeepsie. Recently went to LA for birthday, experienced influencer culture. One-week relationship with director of Veteran Affairs, Italian heritage, does gymnastics since childhood.
- Influencers are telemarketers of our generation - selling stuff you don't need, predominantly white (not Indian), can loosen buttholes.
- 19-year-old influencer selling CBD serum claiming it fixed fine lines and improved libido - has neither problem.
- Demonstrates handstand walk across stage during interview - physical gymnastics display.
- Discusses one-week relationship with Veteran Affairs director - claims he asked to make official, she's monitoring.
- Panel notes wardrobe malfunction during handstand walk; red band jokes about udders.
Set: First time performer completely blanks on material, admits unprepared state. Vague references to fan in head, blended velvet Kangol hats, unclear punchlines.
Interview: Burlington, Vermont. Autistic, celibate with girlfriend for 6 months in treatment facility in Florida for heroin addiction (4 months separated). Sober 5 years from research chemicals/MDMA. Joined Mormon church recently. Writes music/sings.
- Completely blanked on material during first set, admitted unprepared state.
- Revealed research chemical abuse testing for Chinese drug manufacturers; had severe bad trip in bathtub.
- Secret Service visited his high school after saying someone should shoot President George Bush at age 16.
- Tony extensively coached him to embrace his music/singing talent instead of comedy; breakthrough moment singing improvisational song.
- Extended longest interview of night (per Tony's comment) because panel saw potential beneath nervous exterior.
Sean Donovan
Set: Cell phone ticket from cop who pulled him over. Went to court in Kerhonkson nervous, wore button-up to avoid profiling, judge dropped charge to stop sign, other people stared.
Interview: First-time performer, story happened same day. Admitted nothing funny about the story, deliberately chose unfunny material as his first set.
- Cell phone ticket court story - went to Kerhonkson courthouse, judge dropped it to stop sign, got stared at.
- Tony criticized performer for knowingly choosing unfunny material as first time on stage.
- Pulled from bucket but then removed from stage for being unprepared/unfunny - blacklisted by Tony.
Igor Drown
Set: Redneck ghost problem in upstate NY - beer mysteriously half-gone, bowl scraped clean, scratch-off tickets scratched, monster sticker appears on windshield.
Interview: First-timer. From upstate NY across lake from Burlington Vermont. Originally from Russia, adopted at 12, gained citizenship. Reunites with Steven O'Brien (childhood friend from Burlington) on same show after 10 years.
- Redneck ghost in upstate NY steals beer, scrapes resin from bowl, scratches lottery tickets, adds monster sticker.
- Reveals he made the bucket physically before show; created it himself.
- Reunion with Steven O'Brien - childhood friend from Burlington, 10 years since last contact, Steven was 'crazy drug addict' then.
- Arrested at age 16 for telling probation officer someone should shoot President Bush; Secret Service searched his house, threatened family.