Kill Tony #379 — Greg Fitzsimmons
Guests: Greg Fitzsimmons
Lineup
Set: Jason discusses looking like a skinhead on vacation, being hit by cars, smoking too much weed, and references to darker topics including suicide. His set is disjointed and relies heavily on referencing his own issues rather than structured jokes.
Interview: Tony and Greg explore Jason's tendency to riff rather than prepare material, his poor memory, his 16 recent stand-up spots, and his Coast Guard service during Hurricane Katrina. Discussion includes his dark comedic material about suicides.
- Discusses being hit by cars and head injury confidence
- References dark topics including high school suicide and shipmate suicide
- Detective Charles provides written notes calling Jason a 'dehydrated troll' and 'white power bottom'
Set: Jim opens with a joke about losing virginity with his uncle, references wanting world peace but preferring dogs greeting each other, and discusses a road trip from Connecticut. Six months into stand-up comedy.
Interview: Jim is a retired firefighter and funeral director from New Haven, Connecticut with twenty years of service. Discussion covers his whiteness, divorce seven-eight years ago, kids at college, current mental health journey, and extensive questioning about his background and dating life.
- Friend warned about nervousness if pulled from bucket, compares to losing virginity with uncle
- World peace is lofty, but I'd prefer dogs could greet each other the same way
- Detectives label Jim as 'divorced', 'guilty', and 'sexually incompetent'
- Greg repeatedly tests Jim's 'whiteness' with questions about Billy Joel and Cheers
Set: Clifford's set focuses on a Facebook post of a newborn with abnormally large genitals, obsessing over the baby's 'huge nuts' while everyone else tries to comment positively. Dark and crude humor centered entirely on one observation.
Interview: Clifford is a musician in Los Angeles for eight months, recently got a DUI on a moped in front of his house, has serious liver issues, drinks constantly (one beer every hour and a half), sleeps on friends' couches, and keeps a diary addressed to an imaginary father.
- Friend posted nude newborn with abnormally large genitals, obsesses over baby's huge nuts
- Tony discovers Clifford writes in a diary to an imaginary father about staring at baby's genitals
- Extensive discussion of Clifford's alcoholism: one beer every 1.5 hours = 16 drinks daily
Set: Chanel discusses leaving a relationship better than she found it (from Plenty of Fish to Tinder), a homegirl who does social justice speeches with a fake Mexican accent despite never living in Mexico, comparing to how ridiculous it would be if she faked a Wakandan accent while working at McDonald's.
Interview: Chanel is from Denver, works in insurance, recently in the New Faces competition at Comedy Works. Discussion covers her fanny pack contents (birth control, Plan B), therapy, smoking weed, DJing karaoke, and performing Kanye West songs.
- Leave relationship better than found, discovered him on Plenty of Fish, upgraded to Tinder
- Homegirl fakes Mexican accent at social justice events; compares to faking Wakandan accent at McDonald's
- Chanel demonstrates hip gyration moves, Tony attempts to dance with her, both get out of breath
- Shows birth control and Plan B from fanny pack, straight to the sexual content
Set: Justin's set centers on discovering one of his sad singer-songwriter songs is used in a pornographic video. He found out through YouTube comments saying 'the video brought me here lol' and watched the porn, offering to send the link to interested audience members.
Interview: Justin moved from Austin to LA one year ago, has been doing stand-up for two and a half years, lives in his car in Echo Park, uses a Christian gym called The Lord's Gym at a megachurch, and does food delivery via Postmates.
- Sad singer-songwriter song discovered in porn video through YouTube comments
- Offers to send link to porn with his music to interested audience members
- Tony and panel discover Justin's last name is pronounced 'Swallow' not 'Sallow', reaction of embarrassment
- Justin reveals he's been living in his car for the entire year he's been in Los Angeles
Set: Jacob's set covers his appearance (redhead not castable unless playing pedophile), white noise machine that says 'all lives matter', being a Make-a-Wish kid with three liver transplants and a drum set he sold for crack, and commentary on pot leaf tattoos now that weed is legal.
Interview: Jacob is 36, from Washington/Oregon/Virginia, lived in Portland for eight years doing comedy. Moved to LA 1.5 years ago, diagnosed with cryptogenic cirrhosis at 14, spent nine months hospitalized, received three liver transplants, had a Make-a-Wish drumset he sold for crack.
- Redheads only castable as pedophiles, can't get roles as anything else
- White noise machine says 'all lives matter' over and over instead of white noise
- Make-a-Wish kid with three liver transplants, got drumset, sold it for crack
- Jacob reveals he sold his Make-a-Wish Foundation drumset for crack
- Discussion of serious health condition: born with cryptogenic cirrhosis at 14, hospitalized nine months, three liver transplants
Set: William discusses getting a job at Supercuts, has a serious balloon fetish (particularly necks), references a meerkat named Richard Yoplait who rapes things since 2005 and takes victims to motels, and comments on sounds of neighbors having sex while masturbating to porn.
Interview: William recently got hired at Supercuts, has been destroying at recent shows including sold-out Belly Room show and Huntington Beach opening. Discusses his style (Zach Galifianakis meets Brody Stevens), and mentions an extended police chase/DUI incident.
- Serious balloon fetish, especially the neck part of balloons
- References meerkat Richard Yoplait who's been raping things since 2005, takes victims to motels
- William stole a Reebok Sheet wig from a theater after a bad set
- Reveals he got a DUI, shot at police, ran out of gas on freeway, now banned by talent coordinator
- Mentions finding an old AOL stock worth $300k and considering moving to Jackson Mississippi
Set: Mario discusses people calling him creepy but finding creepier behavior in porn comments, hearing neighbors have sex while masturbating to porn and finishing to their sounds, and a childhood memory mistaking a racist grandfather's remarks about raccoons as referring to actual animals on a porch.
Interview: Mario is a 36-year-old sous chef who recently changed jobs but hates the new position. Has Crohn's disease, poops 37 times daily, watches gang bang pornography, and claims Suge Knight chased him for 15 minutes around Century City after taking his picture at a gas station.
- People call him creepy but porn comments are creepier, heard neighbors having sex while masturbating
- Racist grandfather said things Mario thought were about actual raccoons on neighbor's porch
- Detectives create explicit drawings of 'big black dick' in response to Mario's porn preferences
- Mario recounts story of Suge Knight chasing him in truck around Century City for 15 minutes after taking his photo