Kill Tony #421
Lineup
Set: Extended rambling set about fire alarms in middle school and encountering BDSM dating apps. Included story about meeting a girl on Hinge who wanted to whip her feet and watching Fifty Shades of Grey.
Interview: Discussed living with parents in Fort Lauderdale, studying land use law, and detailed BDSM encounter with girlfriend met on dating app. Very long interview with multiple callbacks.
- Fire alarms in school were lit because you could escape class
- BDSM is the prop comedy of sex
- 50 Shades of Gay - came in her but nothing happened
- Microphone technical issues at start of set requiring restart
- Douglas makes Fifty Shades of Gay callback
- Tony cuts interview short due to extreme length of answers
Set: Material about PFA (Protection From Abuse) order against ex-girlfriend, pepper spray incident, and crude sexual references.
Interview: Discussed owning small cleaning company with three employees, playing drums for 10-15 years, and entered Mexican Drum Off competition.
- PFA = Protection From Abuse; no longer dodge beer bottles
- Checked flashlight with dick before girlfriend pepper sprayed it
- Charlie Steps competed in Mexican Drum Off against Joel Jimenez
- Charlie lost drumstick during drum solo attempt
Set: Insults Pittsburgh for being cold and wet compared to Miami, makes incomplete tech jokes, attempts acapella rap about living with parents.
Interview: From Miami, works seasonal floor recovery at Macy's, attempted freestyle rap battle against Douglas the dragon who outperformed him significantly.
- Pittsburgh city sucks; you're pasty like Elmer's glue
- Acapella rap about girlfriend and living with parents
- Audience turned heavily against Sean for insulting Pittsburgh immediately
- Douglas defeated Sean in freestyle rap battle
- Tony noted Sean did everything backwards and lost audience
Set: Rambling set about loving Pittsburgh, playing saxophone very well, arrived with roommate's girlfriend ticket because friend's father was ill.
Interview: Lives in Pittsburgh, plays saxophone well, Tony invited him to leave and retrieve his saxophone for potential saxophone battle at end of show.
- Tony invites Lee to retrieve his saxophone for live battle
- First ever saxophone battle setup in Kill Tony history
Set: Material about being garbage man from Buffalo, mom is woke gym teacher with boyfriend named Dick Post, dad is horse massage therapist.
Interview: Discussed being garbage man from Buffalo, absent father who is horse massage therapist, girlfriend in mental health counseling, never seen since Cleveland show.
- Everyone from Buffalo is garbage, I drive a garbage truck
- Mom's boyfriend's name is Dick Post
- Do you take her out every Tuesday in garbage time
- Tony recognized Jeff from previous Cleveland show
- Red Band made disrespectful garbage man joke
Set: Material about being 62-year-old bachelor dating women his age, wife tasted like grandmother vs granddaughter, jokes about older women and tilt steering.
Interview: Retired from Boeing after 27 years, worked in aviation field service globally including Mongolia, builds scale model airplanes, hooked up at 3:30 pm today.
- Once you get past the smell, older women taste licked
- Difference between grandmother and granddaughter is the taste
- I have a dick route - trunk of the dick
- Tony asked if Russell had murdered someone, Russell gave detailed answer
- Russell revealed military Airborne service
- Tony called Russell most serial killer-looking but complimented him
Set: Material about midlife crisis after 12-year marriage ended in May, wife left for South Carolina guy with trailer/boat, dating apps reveal crazy people.
Interview: Manages Kinkos, married 12 years ended May, first smartphone 2007, hooked up multiple women including one claiming ex beat her, came inside one woman.
- Wife traded me in Pittsburgh 6 for South Carolina 4
- Dating app girl revealed ex beat her half to death
- Chuck admitted coming inside woman without asking
- Discussed dragon style sex position with Douglas
Kuba
Set: Material about blind girlfriend who started seeing other people, contrasts Polish vs American dating culture, jokes about dating being confusing in America.
Interview: Polish immigrant living in Pittsburgh 8 years, MMA fighter with championship rematch April 18, swam for 16 years, never kissed American girl.
- Dated blind girl until she started seeing other people
- Dating in America different than Poland; hoped for right sex
- Kuba received first American kiss from audience member Katarina
- Tony orchestrated kiss between Kuba and Katarina from audience
Set: Material about big feet in skinny jeans, sandwich bags as drug indicator, admitting he's not sharp, learned spelling from pop songs.
Interview: From Rochester/Binghamton NY, 25 years old, does stand-up 2 years, works at distillery, draws and whittles swords, mother recorded sound effects for soundboard.
- Big feet means looking like idiot in skinny jeans
- More than two sandwich bags monthly indicates house drug dealing
- Learned to spell words from pop songs
- Mother's recorded critique included on soundboard
- Tony's parents mentioned visiting show from Youngstown
Set: Minimal set with no prepared material, attended with friends from Miami, attempted joke about Pittsburgh Steelers before time ran out.
Interview: Tony cut interview short, told Jared to leave stage immediately after weak set.
- Jared had no material prepared and performed minimal set
- Tony immediately stopped interview and told Jared to leave
Tony Source
Set: First-time material about housewarming gifts from relatives: uncle gave garage punch bowl, uncle gave $37 Home Depot gift card, uncle gave Hulu trial.
Interview: First-time comedian, 24 years old, from Cranberry/Elwood City near Pittsburgh, works as CNC machinist making parts for electron microscopes.
- Uncle Rob gave me a punch bowl from his garage
- Uncle John gave $37 Home Depot gift card with mom's name
- Uncle Wes gave two-week Hulu trial, stole my credit card
- Strong first-time performance with timing and execution
- Got head sucked in harmony hotel parking lot
- Came in girl's car vents during sexual encounter
Set: Returning performer with muscular dystrophy, material about Disney live-action remakes enabling masturbation to princesses, found bike book with dark punchline.
Interview: Third appearance on Kill Tony, lives near DC, drives himself despite muscular dystrophy, joined book club to pursue girl, plays Ariana Grande parodies.
- Disney live-action remakes make masturbating to princesses normal
- Found bike book, last place was where I live
- Martin returns for third Kill Tony appearance, strong set
- Martin has muscular dystrophy but drives himself
Set: First-time material about being mistaken for predator at malls when children go missing, friend tracks sharks on phone, nervous rambling.
Interview: 27 years old from Pittsburgh, works at bakery (quit managing to sweep floors), has 8-year-old son with primary custody, ex is party drinker.
- At malls, get blamed when code for missing child announced
- Friend downloaded shark tracker app to know where they are
- Only woman's name pulled all night was Taylor (appears masculine)
- Taylor revealed as single father with 8-year-old son