Kill Tony #787 — Harland Williams, Jeremiah Watkins
Guests: Harland Williams · Jeremiah Watkins
Lineup
Set: Paulie Shore performed a one-minute open mic set with jokes about his family's history at the Comedy Store, his mother Mitzi Shore, and his decline from sold-out stadiums to small clubs. The set included controversial material about Jews and Hollywood.
Interview: Tony discussed Paulie's family connection to the Comedy Store, his dog Buster, and his upcoming shows in Atlanta and at the Comedy Store.
- Louis Anderson used to sit on Tony's face, making his face crooked.
- His decline from sold-out stadiums in 1993 doing coke off porn stars to eating brisket.
- Jews no longer control show business, proving Nazis won, delivered on Yom Kippur.
- Paulie struggled to remove the microphone from the stand due to tape securing the cable.
- Harlan Williams gave Paulie cash for the Louis Anderson joke.
Set: Bob Biggerstaff opened with jokes about his real name (Roberto Grande Cock in Spanish), his wife's breast cancer and new implants, and comparing his father's ALS survival to Eric Dane's death from the disease.
Interview: Tony discussed Bob's decade-long stand-up career in Houston and New York, his fiancée's cancer diagnosis, and the details of her reconstructive surgery after double mastectomy.
- Roberto Grande Cock Spanish pronunciation of his real name.
- Wife had breast cancer and got new tits, now has no nipples but chocolates work.
- Dad survived ALS longer than actor Eric Dane; Eric Dane is a bitch.
- Crowd applauded wife's breast cancer before realizing it was serious, Bob called them out.
- Extended discussion of wife's reconstruction, including nipple tattoo options and air mattress patch kits.
- Bob revealed he had colorectal cancer, lost 60 pounds, had stoma bag for 5 months.
Set: Mario joked about bumper stickers with crossed-out swastikas still showing the symbol, and how the same visual technique wouldn't work for other racist things, with a payoff about whether it's singular or plural.
Interview: Tony discussed Mario's 7.5 years of stand-up, his life in Austin, his 5-year relationship, his long fingers for oral sex, and his recent obsession with Lego collecting.
- Bumper sticker with crossed-out swastika still shows swastika, doesn't need advertising.
- Red circle slash through n-word wouldn't work because unclear if for or against racism.
- Plural n-word means definitely racist, singular vs plural matters for bumper sticker clarity.
- Tony praised the payoff on Mario's set and worried midway through before resolution.
- Mario revealed his girlfriend is made of Legos, which he built.
Set: Ronnie, who has cerebral palsy, joked about his mother's concern over gang violence, a blood pressure cuff incident suggesting she wants him dead, and celebrating 10 years of citizenship after living in U.S. for 27 years.
Interview: Extended interview about Ronnie's cerebral palsy affecting his left arm and leg, his adopted background from Guatemala, his popcorn obsession, DoorDash work, and dating life. Panel engaged extensively with disability-related crowd work.
- Mom worried about gang violence despite Ronnie being non-threatening white-passing person.
- Mother's blood pressure cuff reading was perfect, she disappointed, sent junk food care package.
- Celebrated 10 years citizenship after 27 years in country; parents saw adoption discount.
- Panel extensively engaged with Ronnie's cerebral palsy hand, making observations about finger movements.
- Ronnie revealed he nutted in a stripper on previous appearance, didn't get her pregnant.
- Panel worked with Ronnie on shadow puppets, popcorn eating, and disability applications.
Set: Aaron, who uses a wheelchair, joked about TSA agents forcing him into wheelchairs despite refusing, being dumped by a girlfriend who let him use her wheelchair, and absurdist scenarios about wheelchairs as therapy.
Interview: Aaron discussed his girlfriend who attended Renaissance Fair and was treated poorly, his impression of Harlan Williams with wheelchair and Eggo waffle sex jokes, and Tony gave him cash for the impression.
- TSA argues he needs wheelchair despite refusing; they pull gun and force him in.
- Girlfriend dumped him at airport; told flight attendant it was heartbreak, reminded of ex in wheelchair.
- Therapist offering wheelchairs as solution to mental health issues and trauma.
- Aaron performed a detailed Harlan Williams impression with wheelchair sex and Eggo waffles.
- Tony tried multiple times to put joke book in Aaron's arm against his chest due to his disability.
- Aaron complimented Tony on Kill Tony helping his career, then pivoted to insults with goatee joke.
Set: Glenn, 65 and married 32 years, joked about his wife's appearance aging like her mother, the end of sex during menopause, and attempts to keep the bedroom exciting with candles and incense.
Interview: Glenn discussed his morning show radio career in Long Island for 12 years, his autistic non-verbal 21-year-old son, 23-year-old daughter, applying for early Social Security, and his deteriorating marriage.
- Wife looked like Winona Ryder, now looks like face in volcano after 25 years.
- Sex stopped at menopause; tried everything including incense, candles, asking about day.
- Toast was extra crispy despite wife refusing sex during menopause.
- Glenn's set struggled with weak punchlines and long setups with minimal payoff.
- Glenn revealed he did radio in Long Island, had autistic son, and was on early Social Security.
- Tony noted Glenn was least handicapped person on stage that night, delivered as backhanded compliment.
Set: Brooke, age 34, joked about Chris Brown's domestic abuse case with ironic commentary, compared saying the n-word to being invited to a cookout, and made callback about being 'invited' to one by an abuser.
Interview: Extensive interview about Brooke's extremely hairy legs and body hair, her decision not to shave since June 2019 except for her brother's wedding, her hippie lifestyle, water-only diet, and dating history.
- Chris Brown domestic abuse victim can say n-word, invited to cookout metaphor.
- Being a domestic abuse victim gets hand-delivered invite to cookout, brag-worthy.
- Panel obsessed with Brooke's hairy legs and body hair, showed armpits and revealed all-natural.
- Brooke revealed she hasn't shaved since June 2, 2019 except for brother's wedding requirement.
- Jeremiah asked about bush size, Brooke offered to show armpits, panel was extremely engaged.
- D madness kissed Brooke without consent, then Red Band made crude hygiene jokes.
Nino
Set: Nino joked about having a dream of being on Pimp My Ride with modifications made for his lack of swimming ability, pre-diabetes, and recent DWI arrest.
Interview: Nino discussed his previous appearances on Kill Tony, recent DWI arrest on July 4th with 5 beers and 7 shots, 12 hours in jail in Hays County, and his background as a millennial who loves 90s nostalgia.
- Pimp My Ride dream: hot tub for non-swimmer, candy paint for pre-diabetic, gold breathalyzer for DWI.
- Exhibit knew he couldn't swim so put hot tub in PT Cruiser.
- Nino revealed he had hooked up with a GILF from Pflugerville on previous appearance.
- Nino discussed his July 4th DWI arrest, jail time, and misunderstanding of Texas laws.
- Nino claimed he passed the field sobriety test despite being very drunk.
Set: Dedrick performed set about no longer fearing cops (calls them), terror of state troopers in Mortal Kombat hats, generational cops in Texas, and watching Paw Patrol with nephew to appreciate police dogs.
Interview: Tony discussed Dedrick's set performance and made connections to his own Texas State Highway Patrol experience and driving issues on Guadalupe Street.
- No longer scared of cops, calls them, but terrified of state troopers in Mortal Kombat hats.
- Generational Texas cops specializing in pit maneuvers; did one for broken tag light.
- Watches Paw Patrol with nephew; can't wait to meet drug dogs like Chase.
- Tony related to Dedrick's police themes with his own Texas State Highway Patrol story.
Set: Aaron joked about being hit on by a gay man who complimented his smooth ass, wishing he had hairy ass instead, the gay man buying him drinks, and making pronouns jokes about being 'alcoholic.'
Interview: Aaron discussed his previous Kill Tony appearance, living in Austin, working at Maggie Mae's barback, totaling 11 cars from speeding (hit 156 mph in Ford Focus), and hunting/golf hobbies.
- Gay man hit on him at bar, complimented smooth ass, Aaron wished it was hairy.
- Pronouns joke: his pronouns are alcoholic because he got drinks bought.
- Aaron revealed he totaled 11 cars from speeding, hit 156 mph in Ford Focus with turbo.
- Panel obsessed with how Aaron survived 11 car crashes without dying.
- Aaron revealed he found a dead homeless man on 6th Street while working security.
Jeremy Jonas
Set: Jeremy joked about giving kids rankings for favorites, choosing which child to save while tubing, and a story about a stripper commenting on his wedding ring.
Interview: Jeremy discussed his job as an anesthesiologist, taking a year off for comedy, having three kids (16, 14, 11), keeping marriage exciting through dates, and medical mission work in Ukraine with Global Care Force.
- Gives kids rankings as favorites; during tubing incident chose favorite first.
- During rough water tubing, kids flew separate directions, swam past kid to get number one.
- Stripper saw wedding ring, suggested he go home to wife; he said finish the lap dance.
- Jeremy came prepared with strong set and interesting life details as anesthesiologist.
- Tony praised Jeremy as rare bucket pool with life together and prepared material.
- Jeremy revealed anesthesia dosing for Red Band's weight, mention of Costco bulk purchasing.
Set: Harland opened with a story about a statue of pioneers in a park that was actually nine homeless guys eating a raccoon.
Interview: Harland discussed his new YouTube animated show 'The ArtVengers' with Steve Williams (Jurassic Park T-Rex creator) and Paul from Australia, about kids with superpowers related to art.
- Statue of pioneers eating raccoon in Austin park instead of actual pioneers.
- Harland paid Paulie Shore cash for his Louis Anderson face-sitting joke.
- Harland repeatedly bumped Jeremiah and made elbowing motions when Brooke came on stage.
- Harland gave Aaron Belisle money for impressive impression of him with wheelchair and Eggo waffles.
Interview: Jeremiah, former Kill Tony band leader (episodes 45-200s, saxophone, characters), new special 'Crazy Pizza' on YouTube, does stand-up spot monthly at Comedy Store.
- Jeremiah and Tony discussed the 12-second and 15-second mark sound effects for bucket pulls.
- Jeremiah suggested adding an 87-year-old woman achieving orgasm sound effect.
- Jeremiah noted that Brooke and he have similar hairy legs, asked her to show.