Daniel Velasquez
Daniel Velasquez has performed on Kill Tony 3 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Clean joke about friend setting up massage parlor handjob appointment during breakup, awkwardness of needing to walk home after. Self-deprecating humor about taking friend's gift.
- Friend books handjob massage, gives sad reasons why he has to go.
- Walk of shame silently after handjob massage is most embarrassing part.
Velasquez joked about his mother's death and his father's poor life choices, including buying a pool table with life insurance money and dating app mishaps where he engaged with bots.
- Dad bought orange pool table with life insurance after mom's death
- Father got spammed by bots on dating app, wanted to date them
Daniel, who is disabled, discusses benefits of disability, dating non-disabled women, girlfriend's nicknames for him (Speed Racer, Twin Towers), and an inappropriate sexual comment from girlfriend.
- Being crippled allows lying; people have to believe because of disability.
- Girlfriend calls legs 'twin towers'; wants him to fuck her so she walks with him.