Kill Tony #773 — Francisco Ramos, Derrick Stroup
Guests: Francisco Ramos · Derrick Stroup
Lineup
Set: Topical minute covering UFC at White House, war with Iran, Trump/Nazi references, and gas prices. Heavy on current events and absurdist punchlines.
Interview: Hans discussed missing a tooth from basketball injury 12 years ago, recent infection, and vaping too much delaying implant healing. Playful banter about his mouth and dating.
- Missing tooth from basketball injury, now getting delayed implant due to vaping.
- Compliments band, references UFC at White House and ongoing Iran conflicts.
- Hans pulls out missing tooth during interview, showing his mouth to the audience.
- Extended banter about his tooth, infection, vaping, and its impact on bone growth.
Set: Disjointed set asking audience to look at each other deeply, rambling observations about not knowing how many people partners have slept with. Minimal structure, weak delivery.
Interview: Dan revealed frostbite from hypothermia while job-hunting in New Hampshire during breakup. Tony struggled to get coherent answers; extended interview focused on getting straight story about cold injury.
- Rambling observation about not knowing partners' sexual history.
- Tony repeatedly asked how Dan got frostbite, Dan gave circular non-answers about hypothermia.
- Dan revealed shortened fingers/nubs from frostbite, showed them to audience.
- Tony gave up trying to get clear answers, declared Dan's interview the worst.
Set: Clean family comedy about moving from Colorado due to expense, living with sons in their 20s, one on Xbox/pot, other in college. Dating their friends to get them out of house.
Interview: Discussed 5 years stand-up, producing Midwest shows in Iowa hometown, vaginal dryness/atrophy preventing sex, 35-year hairstyling career. Panel made numerous sexual jokes; she rolled with it professionally.
- Living with sons in 20s, one plays Xbox, other outdoorsy; he has better weed.
- Dating sons' friends to make them move out of house.
- Tony called her 'old lady,' she agreed. Discussed vaginal atrophy/menopause openly.
- Extended vaginal dryness discussion with Red Band making numerous sex jokes.
- Received large black jokebook as prize.
Set: Self-deprecating minute about new haircut looking generic, only ever had blue-haired liberal mom cut hair, wants to cheat on her with Puerto Rican barber named Rick for masculine experience.
Interview: Austin native, 4 years stand-up, started here, 6'5", works roofing/business development, plays basketball, smokes mushrooms, has therapist girlfriend with more money. Discusses relationship dynamics and financial imbalance.
- Only had blue-haired liberal mom cut hair, wants masculine barber experience.
- Wants to cheat on mom with tattooed Puerto Rican barber named Rick.
- Tony and Jake discussed his tall height (6'5"), dunking ability, and romantic relationship.
- Jake revealed therapist girlfriend makes significantly more money, pays most bills.
- Panel joked about girlfriend essentially being his boss/mother figure.
Set: Clean joke about friend setting up massage parlor handjob appointment during breakup, awkwardness of needing to walk home after. Self-deprecating humor about taking friend's gift.
Interview: Regular performer, lost Chick-fil-A job, former TV news producer, all-in on comedy. Revealed negative $58 in bank, lives with father in San Antonio. Audience spontaneously collected $745+ for him.
- Friend books handjob massage, gives sad reasons why he has to go.
- Walk of shame silently after handjob massage is most embarrassing part.
- Tony and audience collected cash for Daniel, first fundraiser in Kill Tony history.
- Revealed he had negative $58, lives with father, drives from San Antonio weekly.
- Final total $745+ plus Waffle House gift card raised from audience and panel.
Set: Original minute about schizophrenic friend from high school who could read QR codes, paid her $5-$10 to say N-word. Friend did mushrooms, became schizophrenic. Jokes about sharing and Black people not sharing N-word.
Interview: Friend actually became schizophrenic, said she was talking to Hitler. Panel discussed psychedelics triggering schizophrenia. Aya pitched red-bottom grippy socks to Christian Louboutin as fashion idea.
- High school friend could read QR codes, would say N-word for $5-$10.
- Friend became schizophrenic after mushrooms, maybe Black addiction to N-word.
- Aya pitched red-bottom grippy socks idea to Christian Louboutin (watching show).
- Panel and Tony validated her fashion idea as genuinely good.
Set: Jewish gothic comedy about free Palestine (loves free things), married homeless man who now 'munches hers,' calls vagina 'soup kitchen.' Lost ability to threaten to sleep with people's dads when married.
Interview: Second appearance, fractured foot from Door Dash fall down stairs. Gothic/taxidermy persona. Previously got Yellow Rose strip club job. Pitched Only Fans with taxidermy trades (iguana for feet pics). Pursuing behavioral therapy school.
- Married homeless man from street, now he eats her out (soup kitchen vagina).
- Can't threaten to sleep with dads now that married; more effective than mom threat.
- Holly on crutches from fractured foot, burnt dinner while talking back to husband.
- Revealed Door Dash didn't help after on-clock injury; was delivering Taco Bell.
- Discussed taxidermy trades for Only Fans; someone offered iguana for feet pics.
Set: Men's mental health minute about texting friend 'love you' at 12:30am, friend called asking if he's suicidal. Story about friend calling saying he's killing himself, asking for reason not to.
Interview: Seven-year Minneapolis comic with fiancée in software engineering. Naturally shakes (drug withdrawal history). Works as PCA caring for elderly man, smokes blunts together. Got rear-ended twice in Austin rental cars. Booked for secret show Thursday.
- Texting friend love you at 12:30am caused suicide alarm, friend panicked.
- Friend asks for one reason not to kill himself; unprepared, says don't.
- Derrick Stroup recognized Aidan from Minnesota 4 years ago at Mall of America.
- Aidan revealed he naturally shakes, not drugs, now lives with software engineer fiancée.
- Works as caregiver for elderly man, admitted they smoke pot together regularly.
Set: Bisexual Mexican woman's standards: circumcised men (uncircumcised looks like head popping from hood). College story: broke, tried strip club, terrible at pole dancing, hired as 'poll' instead.
Interview: Two months stand-up, quit AI startup job due to inappropriate workplace comments. Bi-Mexican, hunts ducks, writes about AI policy/philosophy. Father passed away but supported LGBTQ identity before death.
- Bisexual Mexican woman; prefers circumcised men (uncircumcised = hood popping out).
- Broke college student tried strip club, failed pole dance, hired as 'poll' instead.
- Tony joked that normal Mexicans are closeted bi; Paulina acknowledged reality.
- Paulina mentioned dead father's blessing for LGBTQ identity before passing.
- Tony praised her bravery starting comedy after 2 months, gave jokebook.
Set: Rambling, largely incoherent monologue claiming sexual history with Tony, making uncomfortable sexual advances, obsessing over Tony's attractiveness. No traditional jokes or structure.
Interview: First time attempting standup, three years playing poker/trash-talking. From Slutzville/Tulsa, Oklahoma (spelled backwards). Tony cut interview short, offered him jokebook to exit. Largely unproductive interview.
- Tulsa backwards spells Slutz/sexual reference; calls Oklahoma 'Slutzville.'
- Mark made repeated sexual advances/comments toward Tony throughout set.
- Tony cut interview short, gave jokebook to get him off stage.
Set: High-energy minute about friend claiming to be gangster but too fat with hips and breasts; can't rob bank (would clap running). Blind perp description, lineup full of twerking. Natural stage presence.
Interview: Actor/stunt performer on Tyler Perry shows, eight years comedy (took year off for film). Served eight years Army signal specialist, worked McDonald's. Lives Atlanta, wife 5 years (derm tech), married June 13. Discussed keeping marriage fresh by acting like strangers.
- Friend claims gangster but has hips, breasts; can't rob bank (would hear clapping).
- Blind perp lineup: guy heard thief has 'size 12, titties and ass.'
- Derek Stroup complimented Jimmy's natural performance energy and audience control.
- Jimmy discussed Atlanta crime (Cadillac converter theft, break-ins) vs. Orlando safety.
- Discussed fake break-ins as bedroom roleplay with wife to keep marriage fresh.