Matt Robertson
Matt Robertson has performed on Kill Tony 3 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Matt jokes about being a waiter and comparing it to an actor in an unwanted role. He makes controversial jokes about Michael Jackson's pedophilia by interpreting his song lyrics as confessions, claiming Jackson was literally admitting to being a pedophile.
- Waiting tables like straight actor in HIV treatment commercial, not desired role
- Michael Jackson's lyrics are pedophilia confessions, admitted via lyrics
Matt discusses taking forever to orgasm compared to Jimmy Carter's death, being divorced with ex-wife's daughter, dating single moms which is like dating prisoners, and tells kids to learn to cum faster.
- Waiting for him to cum like waiting for Jimmy Carter to die
- Dating single moms is like dating prisoners; limited visitation, hushed tones, kids interrupt
- Ex got custody of her daughter from previous marriage; he lost nothing important
Matt jokes about being 38 with a male roommate (sign of life failure), cheap underwear, and going to Barton Springs hoping to see breasts but finding 'bargain bin' bodies instead.
- Over 35 with male roommate means you made mistakes; underwear is a bungee cord.
- Barton Springs has wrong titties; not Whole Foods yoga Amazon Prime titties, but bargain bin.