Kill Tony #649 — Harland Williams, Yannis Pappas

Set: Hans discusses his recent breakup and having sex seven times with his ex-girlfriend in one week. He jokes about not having time for relationships due to his podcast commitment.

Interview: Hans clarifies he actually broke up with her due to time constraints from his podcast and personal life. He acknowledges the controversial arena battle with Rick Diaz and proposes a rematch at the LA Forum.

Set: Corduroy tells a dark story about childhood trauma including breaking his arm on a BMX bike, sexual abuse by a youth pastor, and violent punishment from his father. He connects these experiences to explaining his adult kinks and fetishes.

Interview: Corduroy reveals he's a professional DJ for 33 years, has recently moved to Austin, and completed a new album in a genre he calls 'dirt road country trap.' He discusses his personal rules including no alcohol, drugs, gluten, sugar, sex, or dating for six months.

Set: Daniel describes growing up on food stamps, detailing how food availability changes weekly based on the welfare cycle. He uses increasingly dark humor about hunger and compares white trash versus redneck survival tactics.

Interview: Daniel reveals he's been doing standup for eight months after moving from Oregon to Austin. He works in phone sales. Harland Williams and the panel gift him a total of $800,000 in fake checks as he discusses his past meth use and relationship with a gang member.

Set: Justin discusses his girlfriend criticizing his blunt-rolling technique and compares it to black guys doing it better. He talks about his woke kids and their reactions to his trans jokes, plus a fear of dying in embarrassing ways like choking on gluten-free popcorn.

Interview: Justin reveals he's 41 years old and just started standup at 40. He's from Fort Worth and on a celebration vacation after losing 85 pounds to go skydiving. He proposed to his girlfriend with a banner at 248 pounds after weighing 330 pounds.

Set: Walt makes jokes about Jesus being black and well-endowed, suggesting the resurrection was related to his genitalia. He claims the shadow from Jesus's penis would block out the sun from Rome to Jerusalem.

Interview: Walt reveals he's done standup only seven or eight times since October. He works in stone work and stone sculpting. The panel criticizes his appearance and delivery, with Yannis noting his Barney costume and Harland calling his set 'ugly.'

Set: Kam discusses masturbating without his phone by using his imagination, but his imagination isn't as strong as when he was younger. He talks about needing more extreme content and discovers he likes choking himself and playing with his nipples.

Interview: Cam confirms his phone broke and he struggled with masturbation for two days. He discusses stealing another person's phone, getting a new chain as a gift from Sugar Shan, and finding Sugar Shan's lost bracelet on New Year's Eve.

Set: Matt jokes about being a waiter and comparing it to an actor in an unwanted role. He makes controversial jokes about Michael Jackson's pedophilia by interpreting his song lyrics as confessions, claiming Jackson was literally admitting to being a pedophile.

Interview: Matt reveals he's been doing standup nine years but appeared on the show once before with Tim Dylan in December. He got herpes after that appearance. Tony awards him $200,000 to $400,000 in fake checks for listening to his set.

Set: Zach jokes about moving to Austin from Alabama and struggling with dating. He compares older generation's romantic song lyrics to his generation's explicit lyrics. He accidentally tells a girl he's a sexual predator instead of dirty talk.

Interview: Zach confirms he moved to Austin nine months ago but prefers Tampa. He's a former pro wrestler with ring name Zach Aether. He lives with Heath Cordis and mentions discovering Heath was having sex on their couch with a girl.

Set: Pauly does two minutes of material including jokes about working out on elliptical machines, defending himself against homosexual attackers, and describing gym-goers doing lunges with dildos. Heavy physical comedy and absurdist humor throughout.

Interview: Pauly discusses his mom Mitsy Shore founding The Comedy Store and growing up there. He talks about his upcoming Richard Simmons biopic and his band Pauly and the Crusties. He performs a brief musical number with a stripper.

Set: Priya discusses a Colombian beauty service that tattoos pink nipples over brown ones. She makes crude jokes comparing mismatched genitalia colors and accents, suggesting brown nipples don't match brown vulvas.

Interview: Priya is from New York and was in Austin for a week doing shows. She had sex with a tall D1 football player she met at a show. She's Indian, wants to be a stand-up not a lawyer, and can roll good blunts.

Set: Davey opens with a shocking joke about having sex with people with Down syndrome and their body shape. He transitions to jokes about his ex-girlfriend's OCD, using it as setup for a punchline about her obsessively flipping light switches.

Interview: Davey has been doing standup four and a half years. He previously appeared on the show and sold pills (opiates, Xanax, etc.). He lives in San Antonio and has dated multiple violent Latina women, including one who stabbed him in the ribs.

Set: William opens with dark jokes about an elderly couple dying from a faulty meter reaching 1,000 degrees (good because their utility bill would be expensive). He makes jokes about Stephen Hawking and Jeffrey Epstein, AIDS, and gaydar.

Interview: William discusses his history with cocaine and nearly violent encounters with Corduroy Xavier in 2020. He was scared straight by watching the show and no longer uses drugs. He reveals the 'meatloaf monster' story from his Memphis graveyard days.