Kill Tony #646 — Deric Poston, Ehsan Ahmad
Guests: Deric Poston · Ehsan Ahmad
Lineup
Set: Set about a smelly Bangladeshi roommate, sending Ozempic to Palestinians, and hating when ugly people compare their dating to his.
Interview: Discussed his robotic autism-like personality, his actually problematic roommate (Ehsan Ahmad), and his girlfriend's whippet addiction.
- Bangladeshi roommate cooks smelly food, opens bathroom door while pooping to air out smell.
- Sending Ozempic to Palestinians in Gaza to make bombing cleanup easier.
- Ugly people dating is like NFL vs MLS - same field, nobody watching.
- Ehsan Ahmad revealed he is Hans's actual roommate and confronted the cooking complaint.
- Revealed Hans's girlfriend has a serious whippet addiction and does them with a friend.
Camilo D
Set: Set about crystal collecting and tarot being for dumb women, astrology for stupid people, and joking about his virginity and fear of Latina women breeding.
Interview: Discussed being an electrician, his sexual confusion, soccer interests, and half-marathon training while getting derailed by multiple accidental 'I fuck dudes' admissions.
- Crystal collecting is rock collecting for dumb women.
- Won't touch Latinas because they have litters of five and border jumping.
- Multiple freudian slip moments where Camilo accidentally said 'I fuck dudes' instead of his intended meaning, creating running gag.
- Electrician electrician callback where Tony mentions finding him at someone's house for sexual purposes.
ZZ
Set: Set about growing up in Iraq, family saying to throw seven rocks behind people, making a weapons of mass destruction joke, turning 37, and mother wanting her to settle down.
Interview: 3 months of standup, works at UT, never seen the show before, repeatedly talked over Tony during interview earning harsh criticism for being unbearable.
- Iraqi family tradition of throwing seven rocks; she threw eight and found WMDs.
- Tony repeatedly told ZZ to stop talking and only answer questions; she was called 'unbearable' multiple times.
- Ended without receiving a joke book or encouragement to return, told 'never sign up again'.
Set: Set about God killing wrong people while her dad lives, father-related trauma, having OnlyFans with her dad commenting, women in comedy not being funny without beatings, and Middle East making women funny.
Interview: 5 months standup, half Pakistani and half Cajun, moved from Louisiana to Austin in January, does Muay Thai, lost virginity to church pastor at 16, hasn't talked to father in 5 years.
- God keeps killing wrong people; her dad still alive causes daddy issues.
- Her dad follows her OnlyFans and leaves comments like 'I miss you'.
- Women in comedy aren't funny without physical abuse; Middle East making women funny.
- Revealed she lost virginity to non-denominational church pastor at age 16-17, he went to jail but got out.
- Tony coached her through trauma and suggested using absent father as motivation for comedy.
Set: Set about being emotionally insensitive to wife's news, not knowing Uncle Dave was gay, mother's breast cancer and reconstruction using belly fat, and finding it less weird checking out mother's breasts.
Interview: 28 years old, one month standup, married 5 years (together 10), markets pharmaceutical drugs, got vaccinated and had COVID, participates in drum solo battle against Michael Gonzalez.
- Wife calls about Uncle Dave car accident; Tony assumes he's dead not realizing he's gay.
- Mother's breast reconstruction used belly fat; now less weird checking out her tits.
- Spencer participated in Mexican Drum Off against Michael Gonzalez; lost decisively and was called 'demolished'.
- Tony called Spencer a 'piece of shit' for marketing pharmaceutical drugs and praised Michael for 'doing that for America'.
Set: Set about family dynamics, molestation by nobody being worse than Michael Jackson, and bragging rights if Caitlyn Jenner went down on him.
Interview: 5 months sober from alcohol, bartender on Sixth Street for 2 years, got sober to avoid blackouts and sex work/prostitutes, frequented Asian massage parlors for hand jobs, discussed prices and experiences.
- Getting molested by nobody worse than Michael Jackson; would have bragging rights.
- Would let Caitlyn Jenner give oral sex for bragging rights.
- Disclosed extensive history of paying for sexual services (massage parlors, Brazilian call girls) while blackout drunk.
- Detailed pricing and preferences for Asian massage parlor hand jobs ($120/hour) vs Brazilian call girls ($150/30min).
Set: Set about rhythmic gymnastics credentials, resting astrology face, believing in minerals not astrology, father fucking her best friend Diana Ray, father being bar mitzvah DJ, and having daddy issues without parental contact.
Interview: 2 months standup, moved from Chicago to Austin 4.5 years ago, has cold urticaria (hives in cold), is a dietitian, quit job, discussed emotional eating, father's affair with best friend.
- Resting astrology face joke; believes in minerals, not astrology or tarot.
- Father fucked her best friend Diana Ray who is hot; he's a bar mitzvah DJ.
- Has daddy issues despite not talking to father; friends say so but she doesn't care.
- Performed contortion moves on stage showing flexibility from 12 years of rhythmic gymnastics.
- Revealed ex-boyfriend was secretly gay, found videos of him sucking dick in her clothes in file labeled 'sus'.
- Tony made callback about him 'coming out of your closet' after she mentioned ex hiding in closet behaviors.
Set: 16-year-old's set about looking young, first time standup, WNBA playoffs comparison, mother threatening soap for cursing, Gen Z Tide Pod challenge reference, getting caught smoking mother's weed with same dealer.
Interview: 16 years old, one year standup, homeschooled, from Houston, attends Secret Group open mics, saw Bill Burr at Toyota Center which inspired him, mother present at show, promised arena date December 30th.
- Looks young; first standup was 14-15 people, same crowd as WNBA playoffs.
- Mother threatens soap for cursing; he's Gen Z and did Tide Pod challenge.
- Got caught smoking mother's weed; they have same dealer and both left disappointed.
- Mother Holden Deshazo introduced on stage; revealed she smokes weed with her son and has red eyes.
- Cam Patterson revealed he helped Holden get on the Vulcan Regular Show and gave him $250 to travel back from Houston.
- Promised arena date at HB Center December 30th at age 16; will perform with Cam Patterson.
Set: Set about smoking crack in thorn bush when ex-wife banned it from house, going to AA meetings for crowd time and set minutes, boyfriend giving him pulmonary edema, being proud EBT member with $250 on seventh of month.
Interview: 4 years standup from Charlotte NC, ODed on heroin 3 years ago and choked on own vomit, quit heroin but drinks every day, works as hourly manager at Hooters, moved to Austin 5 months ago after selling girlfriend's house without telling her.
- Smoked crack in neighbor's thorn bush after wife banned it from house.
- Goes to AA meetings for crowd time and five minutes of sharing per meeting.
- Boyfriend gave him pulmonary edema; proud EBT member since 2006 with $250 on seventh.
- Revealed he ODed on heroin and choked on his own vomit three years ago; quit but drinks daily.
- Admitted to selling girlfriend's house as realtor, taking commission, moving to Austin without telling her.
- Tony sarcastically offered permission to shoot heroin in parking lot at December 30th arena show.
Set: Set about matching with muscular woman on Tinder at 3am, discovering she looked like The Rock in wig, researching if she was trans, feeling safe in her arms during sex, getting bench pressed out of her.
Interview: Regular performer, discussed knowing 16-year-old Holden Deshazo through fathers' friendship, mentoring him, giving him money to travel, Tony coached him on character voice additions for joke.
- Matched muscular woman on Tinder, discovered she was like The Rock in wig.
- Researched if she was trans by feeling for Adam's apple during missionary sex.
- Felt safe in her strong arms, she bench pressed him out of her during sex.
- Ehsan Ahmad coached Cam on adding character voice to punch up the joke for future performances.
- Deric Poston shared memory of taking Cam to see Oppenheimer and his reaction about the scientist getting fucked.
- Revealed mentorship of Holden Deshazo, giving $250 to bring him back from Houston after first show.