Mystery Dan
Mystery Dan has performed on Kill Tony 5 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Mystery Dan performed a dark character sketch about getting revenge on Star Wars fans for mocking people with lisps by assaulting them in a bar, cutting off body parts with scissors.
- Cutting off Princess Leia's buns as revenge for Star Wars lisp jokes.
Comedian discusses Amber Alerts for custody cases versus stranger abductions, found missing dog poster, and references to dark humor about anal sex and child abduction.
- Amber alerts for parental custody disputes vs stranger abductions; jokes about anal sex as motivation
- Found poster of missing dog, not kid; made joke about not reporting dog due to anal involvement
Mystery Dan performs political satire celebrating military firepower, missiles in Syria, MOAB bomb in Afghanistan, and patriotic fervor for American military action.
- Military firepower gets him excited; MOAB bomb is American justice
- 59 missiles in Syria and MOAB in Afghanistan excite him sexually
Set about betting everything on Atlanta Falcons losing to New England Patriots in Super Bowl, threatening suicide if Patriots win.
- Bet all money on Falcons, if Patriots win will shoot himself with 9mm.
- Can't imagine a god allowing five Patriots Super Bowl wins.
Mystery Dan (real name Scullin Dan Scullin) performed political commentary on fake news stories about Trump, MSNBC, and media coverage, discussing how convincing networks are with their reporting.
- Trump winning the election picked up by every network as convincingly fake news
- MSNBC acting whiny and convincing with crazy appointments for Trump administration