Kill Tony #127 — Andrew Santino, Sandro Iocolano
Guests: Andrew Santino · Sandro Iocolano
Lineup
Jay Ruby
Set: Former high school teacher who quit to pursue comedy. Joked about teaching self-esteem curriculum, the students he worked with, and his pivot to stand-up comedy despite making less money.
Interview: Discussed his teaching background, substitute teaching work, multiple children with different mothers, tattoo parlor hangouts, and cryptic personal life that the panel tried unsuccessfully to uncover.
- Success is setting the bar real low, learned from teaching self-esteem.
- Kids were good but gangbangers and drug users had concentration issues.
- Panel extensively probed Jay's mysterious personal life and romantic history
- Revealed he has two sons 13 years apart with different ethnic backgrounds
Set: Joke about champagne mixed with profanity, Obama not paying America's bills on time to China, and jokes about being named Darren Davis.
Interview: First-timer from the Valley studying English at LA Valley College. Discussed his use of the word 'fuck' in comedy, reservation-stealing pranks, and turning up in clubs.
- Champagne fuck - combining words for a certain ring.
- Obama not paying China on time, worst thing he could do.
- Panel discussed what 'turning up' means in reservation context
Set: 19-year-old comedian from Cincinnati discussing out-of-breath climbing stairs, crying in mirrors, calling suicide hotline and being put on hold, casual drinking, and prop comedy ideas.
Interview: Young visiting comedian from Cincinnati area, has been doing stand-up for 3 years starting at age 16. Discussed his home club Go Bananas, drawing hobby, dancing, and plans to move to LA.
- Crying in mirror thinking about own problems, not recognizing self.
- Called suicide hotline, got put on hold - ironic if held wouldn't need call.
- Becoming prop comic, propping head on shotgun barrel.
- Tony praised Will's consistent improvement and natural comedic talent
Set: Joke about dating an unkempt girl and making a face during oral sex, retorting she needs to act like an adult and take responsibility.
Interview: 25-year-old from DC, Jewish, attended University of Maryland and University of Colorado. Discussed drug use from ages 16-22, punching a cop while drunk in college, sobriety journey, and current boring life.
- Girl's unkempt genitals made him grimace; she said he expected a little girl.
- Revealed punching a cop while blacked out at Boulder party school
- Discussed sobriety journey from age 22 after rehab in Florida and DC
- Tony told him he's boring despite interesting past, suggested material needed
Set: Arnold Schwarzenegger impression as Jesus in Passion of the Christ doing action movie clichés. Acknowledged the bit was terrible and reversed with self-deprecation.
Interview: From Prescott, Arizona, moved to LA 1.5 years ago. First time on show. Discussed Lieutenant Dan comparison, working at Tempe Improv, motorcycles, BMX background, and riding bicycles aggressively.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger as Jesus being tortured on cross with action movie dialogue.
- Set was bombing until Steven acknowledged it and turned it around
- Revealed grenade tattoo on bicep with pin and smoke design
- Discussed BMX freestyle competitions traveled across US when younger
Set: Cashier job as step toward presidency. Walking Dead references about dating dead ex-girlfriend. Necrophilia and dating humor. Self-aware bombing.
Interview: From Milwaukee, moved to LA one week ago. Four years of stand-up experience. Discussed mute porn fetish, inability to be aroused with noise, sexual dysfunction, and dead grandmother.
- Just got cashier job, always wanted to be president, making change in lives.
- Ex-girlfriend requirements: living, breathing, no biters - Walking Dead reference dating.
- Weird people in dating scene harder to deal with than normal needs.
- Revealed mute porn fetish, no arousal with any noise during sex
- Discussed inability to maintain arousal if door closes or noise happens
- Acknowledged bombing and had grenade tattoo matching theme
Set: Joke about casual hookup where guy bragged about performance; she disagreed. Drake criticism for saying N-word as half-black, half-Jewish artist.
Interview: 19-year-old regular who recently returned from London and Paris. Discussed European shows with intermissions, Drake music preferences, Russian Jewish heritage, living situation couch surfing.
- Guy bragged about sex performance; she corrected him, she was the good one.
- Drake says N-word frequently despite being half-Jewish; disappointed in ratio.
- Revealed mother is Irish, father is Russian Jewish but keeps saying Polish
- Mother watching stream, dad named Larry also watching online
Set: Self-described fake Jew. Talked about why she does comedy: drugs unsustainable, making people laugh is, and she was visibly shaking throughout.
Interview: Regular who shakes visibly on stage from nerves. Discussed forgetting jokes due to anxiety, need to write material down, employment status, and commitment to improving.
- Mom is Jewish so she's a fake Jew explanation.
- Does comedy because drugs unsustainable but making people laugh is.
- Set went over 1:30, panel noted excessive shaking and nervousness
- Tony encouraged her to write jokes down and push through nervousness
Set: Bloods/Crips references with Wild N' Out joke. TSA pocket fuck joke. Animal-named genitalia wordplay (cock, beaver, moose knuckle, camel toe).
Interview: Returns to show after recent turbulent times. Discussed two movies: Helen Keller vs Night Wolves and Range 15 with William Shatner, Danny Trejo, Dale Dye. Lives on couch with roommates.
- Bloods vs Crips get mad when blue team wins on Wild N' Out.
- TSA questioned pocket fuck during baggage search.
- Animal genitalia names: cock chicken, beaver, moose knuckle, camel toe technically eaten.
- Discussed eating three untested Doug Benson pot muffins, sold quarter of tickets
- Spontaneous dance performance during interview after panel encouragement
- Tony noted Michael's emotional volatility and high-energy performance