Kill Tony Kevin Nealon, Kirk Fox
Guests: Kevin Nealon · Kirk Fox
Lineup
Set: Umpire from Queens who opens with Tupac lyrics, discusses his career calling balls and strikes in minor league baseball, selling hotdogs at Shea Stadium, and his Italian heritage.
Interview: Tony and panel discuss Derek's umpiring career, his off-field issues preventing promotion to bigger leagues, his girlfriend who teaches ESL, and whether he brings work home. Extended interview covering baseball philosophy, racism jokes, and his relationship dynamics.
- Look like Jeter but hit like Peter; can't hit for anything
- Cigarettes vs cabs: both kill you but you credit cigarettes
- Being from Queens, getting paid to say it in accent
- Derek does loud umpire strike call demonstration on stage
- Panel discussion about Derek's off-field issues keeping him from big leagues
Set: Jose does impressions of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill Cosby, Chris Rock discussing Harriet Tubman, and talks about failed dates where jokes don't work.
Interview: Jose reveals he's from New Mexico with no comedy clubs, been doing stand-up for a year (8 years in New Mexico time), works as a trainer at Equinox in West Hollywood, and moved to LA 4 months ago.
- Arnold reconnecting with bastard son using Spanish; Bill Cosby Jell-O with roofies
- Optimus Prime and gay version; contrasts with standard impressions
- Panel criticizes Jose's impressions as unoriginal, not Chris Rock at all
- Kirk Fox aggressively asks about non-comedy hobbies, gets 'staring at the wall'
Set: Jonathan discusses finding out a friend used to do porn, comparing porn and magic as professions with similar dynamics, weird names for tricks, and both ending in big reveals.
Interview: Jonathan started doing stand-up in 2014, works at The Room bar in Hollywood, has watched porn star ex-coworker Sierra Skyy's content, discusses dating and basketball, got in a seventh grade fight over a girl.
- Porn and magic both end with reveals, have weird trick names
- Both professions have weird names: Houdini vs Angry Dragon
- Jonathan confused by panel's questions, loses thread of set
- Jonathan admits seventh grade fight was over girl named Sierra Sky
Set: Michael discusses FDA approval of pill making semen taste like pineapple (for Black women vs white women), dating apps running background checks, and felonies not equaling job disqualification.
Interview: Michael reveals he has three misdemeanors, lives in basement apartment, unemployed, dating multiple women in rotation, works odd jobs, has no job stability and makes various crude sexual comments.
- FDA pineapple semen pill approved; Black women vs white women joke
- Dating app runs woman's info through 50 state prison systems
- Michael brags about multiple women in rotation, basement apartment
- Panel and audience uncomfortable with Michael's crude sexual descriptions
Set: Seth performs as an elderly character discussing thinking about death and masturbation, having cats, not liking doctors, and making complaints about various trivial matters.
Interview: Seth reveals he's been on the show before with his nephew (who is autistic) and another character. Tony notes Seth stayed very in-character and didn't break. Tony estimates Seth is 79.
- Room covered in dust from thinking about death and masturbation
- Tony notes Seth stayed in character entire time, didn't break
- Seth immediately exits after minimal interview, refuses to engage
Set: Elvis opens with living in a minivan named Beyonce, discusses still having sex despite homelessness, gentrifying Skid Row, working at GameStop, and the irony of his living situation.
Interview: Elvis reveals he's lived in minivan for 3+ years, immigrated from Bosnia in 1997, attended Amherst College but left to hike Appalachian Trail (5 months, 2200 miles), works at GameStop, feeds homeless people daily.
- Lives in minivan named Beyonce; surprisingly still has sex
- Feels like fortunate homeless person gentrifying Skid Row
- Doctor asks if exercising; goes to gym to shower and cry
- Kevin Nealon gives serious life advice about getting apartment and working
- Kevin worries about Elvis, suggests Manpower temp jobs, real apartment
- Elvis reveals father doesn't know he lives in van
Set: Ali opens in Van Halen shirt, discusses deleting Bumble app because no beekeepers on it and girls must message first. Bio said 'looking for my dad' with sexual tension; mentions inappropriate dad.
Interview: Ali reveals she stalks men she likes online (found AJ on all social media), has threesome via Tinder, doesn't shower often (2 days ago was last time), has potential skin tags near vagina, feels predatory toward men.
- Bumble app for dating not bees; no beekeepers on platform
- Bio said 'looking for my dad'; sexual tension with father
- Ali admits to stalking man named AJ on all social media
- Panel critiques Ali's hygiene and shower habits
- Kevin suggests Ali will be big star once she gets vagina issues fixed