Kill Tony #267 — Doug Benson
Guests: Doug Benson
Lineup
Set: Frank discusses falling asleep at the dentist and getting aroused, his three sons (including one who only wears onesies), and his family's outdoor activities like skateboarding and hiking.
Interview: Frank reveals he's only done stand-up once, signed up for his buddy's birthday celebration, works in software, has been married 15 years with three boys, and enjoys outdoor activities with his family.
- Fell asleep at dentist with fingers in mouth, got uncomfortable erection
- Youngest son wears only onesies, will probably be janitor or mechanic
- Tony and panel discuss Frank's relationship with his buddy, including hospital visit with gift
Set: Eric discusses his three-month relationship pattern, using casual hookups and drugs to cope with breakups, and jokes about asking women what's unique about his average penis.
Interview: Eric becomes increasingly agitated and erratic during the interview, discussing his neighbor Leroy's death, his Vipassana retreat experience, and his poppy seed tea side business. He eventually walks off stage mid-interview.
- Three-month relationships ended by asking what's unique about average penis
- Eric walks off stage mid-interview without finishing, extremely agitated
- Panel makes Coldplay pornography producer joke about Eric's appearance
Set: Joseph discusses workplace sexual harassment, specifically Bill O'Reilly's falafel/loofah incident, his own history of dating coworkers including one in HR, and making a 401(k) joke about performance matching.
Interview: Joseph returns as a repeat performer; Tony and panel discuss calling him a 'scooter-riding magician,' his job in bank communications, his guitar playing history, and his preference for wine bars to meet women.
- Bill O'Reilly said falafel instead of loofah for body rub
- Dated HR woman, every orgasm matched to 5% performance
- Chroma Chris calls Joseph a 'scooter-riding magician' callback from previous year
- Joseph plays guitar briefly after being coaxed by panel; receives mixed reaction
Set: John compares himself to Andy Milanakis, discusses chopping jalapeños and masturbating, his grandmother's death and identical twin sister, and his grandfather's quick remarriage to the twin.
Interview: John reveals he works with mentally disabled adults and drives Uber/Lyft, his parents are still together but lost money, he drinks wine and walks around, and he comes from the Bay Area.
- Forgot to wash hands after chopping jalapeños before masturbating
- Grandfather married grandmother's identical twin after her death
- Panel makes multiple Office and appearance-based jokes about John's looks
Set: Chris discusses a homeless guy's optimistic sign, his work climbing trees for a tree service where his dad is boss, and joking that his cool job is because of his mom.
Interview: Chris, age 23, reveals he had an allergic reaction at an open mic, is allergic to bananas, oranges, cabbage and tomatoes, climbed trees since age 15, plays music in bands, and writes comedy songs about getting high.
- Homeless guy's optimistic sign got him homeless in first place
- Dad owns tree service, would have fired him long ago
- Chris plays short comedy song about getting high on borrowed guitar
- Tony shakes Chris's hand after set, unusual moment of approval
Set: Brady, 31-year-old who just turned 31, does Bob Dylan impression, discusses being a nice guy who finished last in Boston Marathon which saved his life.
Interview: Brady reveals he's a security guard at biopharmaceutical company, makes duct tape wallets and purses, plays Madden while telling strangers he's a top rising comedian, previously saw prostitutes via Backpage, and recently had a date in New York.
- I'm nice guy but finished last Boston Marathon, saved my life
- Bob Dylan impression with no setup or context
- Brady reveals previous sex work with prostitutes from Backpage
- Panel discusses Brady's unusual leather jacket origin story from car break-in
Set: Sara discusses doing cocaine occasionally while reading Jane Austen, her boyfriend who was a fat kid with no portion control eating her out, and making jokes about Elvis.
Interview: Sara works in marketing for a startup, has been with lawyer boyfriend for two years, plays trumpet, joined pizza club, does occasional drugs including mushrooms in Amsterdam, and watches lots of comic shows.
- Do coke on Saturday, curl up with Jane Austen book
- Boyfriend was fat kid, no portion control eating her out
- Panel mimics Sara's voice repeatedly, she complains about treatment
Set: Ali discusses cutting her hair and people assuming she has opinions, attending Coachella last minute and staying with a stranger, having older hot sisters and being the ugliest of three.
Interview: Ali still works at wings restaurant, mentions her fame hasn't improved tips, discusses hot San Francisco barista, her androgynous Tinder matches, obsession with Golden Gate Bridge photos in dating apps, and leaving conversations unfinished.
- Cut hair, now people assume I have opinions but I don't
- Ugly sister of two hot sisters, guys want pics of them
- Ali introduced as Kill Tony regular who started as underage performer, now getting guest spots
- Jeremiah offers to demonstrate transgender porn appreciation to Ali
Set: Michael tells a long, confusing math word problem joke that ends with 'solve for blueberries,' which confuses the audience and Tony.
Interview: Michael, age 30, is a project manager at tech company who co-hosts a problem-solving podcast, plays softball for team 'The Productive Outs,' is 2.5 years sober from alcohol, recently started dating someone from Bumble, and smokes cigarettes.
- Long confusing math word problem ending with 'solve for blueberries'
- Michael's joke completely bombs and confuses everyone including Tony
- Michael reveals he's 2.5 years sober, worked 100 hours/week while drinking
Greyson Gibson
Kala Keller
Set: Kayla discusses having three kids and their worldview being her problem, teaching daughter all men are trash, leaving her son at the park as 'man training,' and gardening with her children as her 'tremors.'
Interview: Kayla, one year of stand-up, has three children and is a stay-at-home mom, speaks very rapidly, has tattoos, and performs at a very fast pace making it hard to follow.
- Taught daughter all men trash, including her two-year-old brother
- Garden with kids for quick hands, no payment needed
- Jeremiah shows romantic interest in Kala during interview