Kill Tony #329 — Ron White
Guests: Ron White
Lineup
Jazmyn W
Set: Pierce, 21 years old, performs about his step-brother coming out as pansexual and his misunderstanding of the term, living with three Puerto Rican ladies, and his father shoplifting stories.
Interview: Tony discovers Pierce is only 21, two months into legal drinking age, has only done stand-up seven times, dropped out of business school, and recently got a credit card. Discussion of his Ray Romano-like voice and lack of dating experience.
- Step-brother comes out as pansexual, misunderstands as attraction to pans
- Living with three 85-year-old Puerto Rican ladies is like being Hugh Hefner
- Tony and panel praise Pierce's Ray Romano voice impressively consistent
- Panel does collaborative improv where Jeff Foxworthy hits on Pierce as character
Set: Thad performs about his appearance, Muslim faith, and cousins, with intentionally crude and provocative material that bombs badly with the audience.
Interview: Thad reveals he flew from Chicago specifically for Kill Tony, this is his first stand-up performance ever, and his friend left during his set. Discussion of his Iraqi heritage and identity crisis.
- Jokes about Muslim faith and sexual relations with cousins
- Parents named him after Middle Eastern dictators; stage name is actually osama bin saddam hussein abu gaddafi
- First time doing stand-up ever, flew from Chicago specifically for Kill Tony
- His friend abandoned him mid-set and left the venue
- Set bombs but Tony encourages him to do one more joke which lands
Sidedick Eddy
Set: Alice performs about Ariana Grande not being Mexican despite tanning excessively, her real last name being Grandi, and her parents being a racist interracial couple.
Interview: Alice has been on the show multiple times and is improving visibly. She discusses her parents' racism, her sister's upcoming wedding, and being a nanny. Ron White and panel praise her structure and punchlines.
- Ariana Grande wears so much self-tanner it borders on blackface
- Her last name is Grandi not Grande, like Yankee Doodle Dandy
- Ron White notices visible improvement in her comedy structure
- Father said at a funeral that he doesn't have to die because people don't know they don't have to
Set: Che performs about encountering armed men in Mexico with his girlfriend, claiming he's a feminist and former Marine so he didn't give combat advice and just ran instead.
Interview: Che is 48 years old, was in the Marines, trained in karate, and just finalized his second divorce last Saturday. Discussion of his recent marriage failure and his first wife being closeted lesbian who later married a woman.
- Encountered armed masked men in Mexico but didn't offer combat help because he's feminist
- Just divorced for the second time, finalized last Saturday
- Jeff Foxworthy successfully kicks Ron White's hand during panel participation
- Ex-wife had seven surgeries during marriage, including emergency C-section, ovary burst, bladder puncture
- First wife was closeted lesbian who later married another woman
Set: William performs quick observational one-liners about not knowing McDonald's, meeting Dracula and thinking he'd be taller, and his friend not knowing what an intervention is.
Interview: William performs a weekly new minute on Kill Tony. Discussion of his appearance, recent Cancun trip with manager's daughter Patricia Zorro, getting a haircut because of new district manager Gerald Zorro, and using whippets (inhalant drug).
- McDonald's waiter joke - family waiting 15 minutes for menus
- Meeting Dracula for first time and thinking he'd be taller
- Friend at intervention doesn't know what intervention actually is
- Shaved beard because new district manager Gerald Zorro criticized it
- Recently in Cancun with manager's daughter Patricia Zorro, spent time in hot tub and pool
- Recently used whippets (nitrous oxide) extensively with friend Bill
- Wearing $500 collector's edition spandex shorts from eBay with connected tight garment
Set: Ryan performs about dating and how to assess a man's true nature through his Grand Theft Auto behavior, mentioning he plays the game to start a taxi business and trade stocks rather than kill hookers.
Interview: Ryan started comedy in 2011, was born in the San Fernando Valley, works at The Improv in Hollywood since 2016. Recently engaged in January after mushroom trip to Joshua Tree. Works in tech, fiancée works at SAG.
- Watch how a guy plays GTA to understand his true nature as boyfriend
- In GTA he plays tennis with wife, runs taxi company, trades stocks
- Recently engaged in January after mushroom trip to Joshua Tree
- Born on New Year's Day, conceived at Long Beach Grand Prix
- Was in a punk band doing vocals and bass