Kill Tony #333 — Tim Dillon
Guests: Tim Dillon
Lineup
Set: Trans woman discussing her identity as "trans wealthy," living broke despite identifying as financially privileged. References FICO scores and contrasts her experience with billionaires.
Interview: First-time Comedy Store performer from Virginia who drives back and forth bicoastal doing stand-up for 4 years. Previously worked as a massage therapist for 13 years.
- Trans wealthy - identifies with money but lives broke
- God screwed up gender assignments and FICO scores
- Tony and panel praise strong opening minutes about identity and wealth
Andy Van
Set: Asian comedian who taught sex ed before #MeToo, making rape jokes throughout set. Topics include consent, Republican dating preferences, and self-deprecating humor about appearance.
Interview: Seventh or eighth month into comedy, moved to LA a year ago. Has been arrested once at age 14-15 for hacking at internet cafe. Returns to show after previous appearance.
- Sex ed before #MeToo - rape wasn't a big deal
- Consent is sexy vs necessary - Trump joke
- Never slept with Republican before, uses it for content
- Tim Dylan and panel call out that entire set is rape jokes
- Arrested at 14 for hacking video game at mall internet cafe
Set: Second time doing stand-up ever. Mom called cops on him, sports background, created a fake cult in high school, rambling about brother's friend group, racial observations about Black people.
Interview: 23-year-old from Virginia, returned a year later, works as gardener. Only second time ever performing. Panel notes he has natural timing but needs to practice and refine material.
- Mom called cops thinking he killed brother - brother at friend's
- Played baseball, got into drugs instead of girls
- Observation about Black people being brown-colored
- Tim Dylan notices unnatural raw timing for second-ever performance
- Performer does physical punch gesture multiple times during interview
- Gardener callback after panel makes garden estimate joke
Set: Disabled homeless veteran, colorblind, discusses difficulty determining blood color and sending photos to mother. Short set, only ~30 seconds of actual material.
Interview: Coast Guard veteran from Hurricane Katrina relief. Started comedy in October, six months in. Recently wrecked car, staying in hostel to do mics. Forages mushrooms, sleeps on beach sometimes.
- Colorblind adult can't tell if bleeding without photo help
- Panel roasts for describing himself as homeless veteran so casually
- Set cuts short, panel notes he only told one joke
Set: Comedy about California's low birth rate, being single, Lord of the Rings obsession, jokes about having a girlfriend vs LOTR preference using Gandalf reference.
Interview: Returned after appearing in December 2017 as first time. Studying for CPA exam, took time off as accountant. Lost 150 pounds over 5 years, loose skin showcase becomes major moment.
- California's low birth rate - single by choice for LOTR
- Looked through Bilbo's window, saw infinite loneliness instead
- Girlfriend chose between her and LOTR - said 'You shall not pass'
- Bernie removes shirt to show dramatic loose skin from 150 lb weight loss
- Panel suggests Bernie should perform shirtless like Bert Kreischer
- Jeremiah shapes Bernie's loose skin into pottery-like form on stage
Set: Black comedian from NYC now in Fort Lauderdale, jokes about NASCAR driver assumptions, Little League baseball base coach slapping his ass, medical experiences with ex-girlfriend.
Interview: Doing stand-up 4-5 years. Flight attendant for 18 years at unnamed airline. Witnessed woman urinating in seat, let her finish. Panel brings up Tony wanting to be a pilot (controversial redirect).
- Want to be first Black NASCAR driver - would get pulled over mid-race
- Little League coach slapped ass, thought worse would happen at third base
- Tony gets visibly upset about Jean mentioning Tony wanting to be a pilot
- Jean shares story of woman urinating in seat on flight he let finish
Set: Eight months in comedy, discusses childhood bone disorder with tumors throughout body, two titanium hips, jokes about hip tickling predicting weather vs stock market, defaulted on student loans.
Interview: First-time kill Tony. Writer's assistant on The Connors TV show (first day also last day when Roseanne was fired). From Chicago, father worked for DEA. Super single, 26 years old when lost virginity to doctor during operation.
- Bone tumors as child - 'my humps' Fergie reference
- Titanium hip tickles with weather - wished it predicted stocks
- Defaulted on student loans to Wells Fargo, owes $120k
- Panel laughs at her casual admission of massive debt
- Tony jokes about her being match for Bernie Man with loose skin
Set: Claims to be Problem Child actor from 90s and serial killer in Mexico. Movie critic who compares everything to Edward Scissorhands, confuses Jaws with it.
Interview: Regular weekly performer. Works at self-storage unit place. Apocalyptic bathroom emergency story with roommate's sister visiting. Bought $300 eBay collector's edition shirt in ziplock bag.
- Claims Problem Child actor who's been killing people in Mexico
- Movie critic compares all films to Edward Scissorhands
- His World War 2 screenplay: squirrel family in Berlin during Holocaust
- William's World War 2 squirrel family screenplay becomes extended callback
- Self-storage pitch during interview showcases natural sales ability
Set: Almost 30, car worth less than nice grill, broke, sold car to junkyard for $50. Jokes about car's market value being less than used Xbox, getting tickets worth more than car.
Interview: First-time kill Tony after three years comedy in Cincinnati. Just moved to LA month-and-a-half ago. Freelance video editor. Worked at news station, was there day Harambe died covering it.
- Car worth $50, less valuable than used Xbox
- Junkyard is Pawn Stars meets Mad Max directed by meth
- Feels wrong driving worthless car, get tickets worth more
- Panel connects his news job to Harambe moment in pop culture
- Jokes about being freelance video editor match his appearance