Kill Tony #355 — Doug Benson
Guests: Doug Benson
Lineup
Set: First-time comedian discussing bathroom anxiety, living in Norway, hiking and cocaine use, and currently living at home with parents and sister at age 28.
Interview: Tony and Doug probe Colin's living situation, AutoZone job, brief commercials, and family background including his mother's dachshund collection. Tony calls Colin's mom and she becomes the standout performer of the segment.
- Anxiety about using other people's bathrooms and not knowing which towel to use.
- Living in Norway, likes hiking and cocaine: 'Joey Rogan by day Joey Diaz by night'
- Tony calls Colin's mom on speakerphone and she delivers better comedy than Colin, saying 'get in the zone, get out zone' and revealing family dachshunds named Reason and Treason.
- Colin's mom becomes an instant Kill Tony legend and Tony invites her back to future episodes.
Set: 21-year-old food runner from San Pedro discussing his Mexican heritage, appearance, teeth, and comparing himself to Lord of the Rings characters regarding assault.
Interview: Extensive discussion about Sam's girlfriend of one year, his deceased mother, not saying 'I love you' to his girlfriend, and Tony pushing him to call her and express his feelings live on air.
- Being Mexican with lots of teeth, mustache, glasses and hat together look like 'Lord of the Rings of sexual assault'
- Has more teeth than family members in his apartment.
- Tony pushes Sam to call his girlfriend and tell her he loves her live on the podcast, creating uncomfortable tension about their one-year relationship.
- Sam reveals his mother died two years ago from falling off a ladder at Burlington Coat Factory, shifting tone significantly.
Set: 39-year-old from Philadelphia with five adopted kids through foster care, discussing lack of sex in 15-year relationship and complaining about children's demands.
Interview: Discussion of his five adopted children of different ethnicities, wife, preschool teaching job, beatboxing, drumming, and family dynamics. Tony invites him to compete in Mexican Drum Off against Joel Berg.
- Wife requires emotional foreplay Sunday-Tuesday before possible Wednesday sex; not worth the effort.
- Kids constantly thirsty, complains about their neediness while sitting doing nothing watching TV.
- Michael participates in Mexican Drum Off competition against Joel Berg as reigning champion, demonstrating left-handed drumming skills.
- Michael performs an energetic drum solo that impresses the crowd but loses to undefeated champion Joel Berg.
Set: Comedian discusses becoming single, dating apps, comparing women to hot coffee, and a recent date where he confused Warren Beatty and Jimmy Buffett.
Interview: Discussion of his job at LA Public Library training department, dating situations, photography work, designing Kill Tony skateboard griptape for charity, and current girlfriend who works in marketing.
- Likes women like coffee: too hot to put dick in, comes out with blisters.
- Confused Warren Beatty and Jimmy Buffett on a date, couldn't backtrack from mistake.
- Tony critiques Eric's joke setup as unnecessarily long; Doug suggests removing preamble for bigger laughs.
- Eric reveals his girlfriend met him at Mardi Gras party for books they were reading; relationship progressing well.
Set: First-time 28-year-old construction worker from Bell Gardens with Mexican heritage, opening with dark joke about pedophile priests, then pivoting to dating a blind person.
Interview: Discussion of construction work with water mains, broken jaw injury at batting cages, weight loss from jaw wiring, parents in construction/sales, mother selling Princess House Tupperware.
- What did one pedophile say to another? 'Good morning, Padre' - dark Catholic priest joke.
- Dating a blind person: always a DD at parties since they can't drive.
- Tony discovers Elmer's opening joke bombed, making it Elmer's first real feedback on stage.
- Discussion of Elmer's mother selling Princess House, which Tony realizes is Mexican Tupperware sold in Bell Gardens area.
Interview: Doug Benson is the main guest panel member throughout the episode, providing commentary and jokes about the bucket pull comedians. He emphasizes the importance of coaching new comedians and the value of shows like Kill Tony for developing talent.
- Doug advises Eric Staniford to cut joke setup for bigger laughs, suggesting comedians should have less preamble.
- Doug comments that he would have definitely been signing up for Kill Tony in his early years, emphasizing its value.
Set: One-year comedian performs dark suicide bomber joke with extensive setup about different sandwich preferences at airports, requiring 90 seconds to reach punchline about wife making his lunch.
Interview: Extended discussion of Bridgette's background including first psych ward at 11, multiple suicide attempts, 33 days in LA County psych ward at 17, borderline personality disorder, work as paramedic/EMT, roller derby experience, and management of mental health.
- Three suicide bombers group texting about sandwich preferences at different airports, all blow up.
- Bridgette reveals she spent 33 days in Los Angeles County psych ward at age 17 after suicide attempt.
- Discussion of borderline personality disorder triggers on buses and therapy related to pressure and guilt about Social Security disability.
- Bridgette shares story of transporting premature twins who died in hospital elevator, mother's comforting hand on shoulder despite not being Bridgette's fault.
- Tony compliments Bridgette's fit at Comedy Store, comparing it to land of misfit toys and welcoming her to the community.
Set: Surreal comedian performs abstract jokes about brother's teacher in homeschool scenario, impressions including Swamp Thing, addiction to magic with rabbits, and references to premature twins and sirens.
Interview: Extended discussion of William's interests (YouTube commentary criticism), skateboarding in Maui absence, flirtation with band member Phyllis Watkins, AOL chat rooms, brickbreaker game, his past in 10th grade running for student council with synthesizer performance.
- Brother in incestuous relationship with homeschooled teacher, Paper Planes cutscene impression.
- Realized magic addiction when rabbit made kid smile, another Paper Planes cutscene.
- William flirts with/physically interacts with Phyllis Watkins (Jeremiah's sister) on trumpet, creating awkward Bill-Hillary Clinton comparison.
- Reveals he failed first grade and doesn't know how to read, contradicting earlier claim of being in 10th grade.
- William admits to singing N-word in Project Pat lyrics while pounding Coors with friend Jay Martin in 10-11th grade.
- Reveals past interest in synthesizer, performed at Memphis University School in 10th grade for student council running against Ronnie Curry, played Karma Chameleon.
Set: 48-year-old from Colorado first-time comedian discussing Harley riding, small mountain town without traffic lights, LA traffic chaos, high-speed chase with Japanese tourists, and traffic as tourist attraction.
Interview: Discussion of skateboarding and snowboarding lifestyle, heroin use in Venice, rocky relationship with Colorado girlfriend, decriminalized mushrooms in Colorado, eating entire bag of mushrooms at restaurant in Upland, seeing God on psilocybin, Vice documentary with Rick McRae, downhill skateboarding over 50 mph, traumatic brain injury and helmet, and CTE concerns.
- Small Colorado mountain town with no traffic lights; LA traffic lights mean 'watch the fuck out.'
- Traffic in LA is like Disneyland/Walk of Fame/glory hole - a tourist attraction with high-speed chases.
- Bobby reveals he uses heroin occasionally, found in Venice, describing it as 'a Venice thing.'
- Bobby discusses eating entire bag of psilocybin mushrooms at nice restaurant in Upland, tripping hard during meal.
- Bobby was featured in Vice documentary with Rick McRae on skateboarding, appeared while high on acid, closed episode with philosophical statement.
- Bobby reveals he's been growing weed for 34 years (since age 14) and sustained serious skateboarding head injury waking in hospital.