Kill Tony #376 — Adam Ray
Guests: Adam Ray
Lineup
Set: Elias discussed his mother-in-law seeing him naked and his insecurity about it, making jokes about his wife's attraction to him and questioning her standards.
Interview: Elias revealed he's from Oklahoma, an electrician, and was in Iraq doing security work. Tony coached him on tightening his material and making it more about the insult to his genitals.
- Mother-in-law saw me naked, told me she didn't see anything—insulting
- Wife attracted to his jiggling chest, almost makes her gay
- Tony gave detailed coaching on how to structure the joke to emphasize the insult to Elias's genitalia
- Elias revealed Iraq deployment but initially didn't want applause for it
Set: Brendan's first time doing stand-up featured jokes about his staring problem at bars and making assumptions about people's weights, delivered with heavy hedging and disclaimers.
Interview: 21-year-old from Oklahoma City with a recent DUI, living back with family after moving out. Discussed his wealthy father, drinking problem, and various sexual experiences, derailed by panel commentary.
- Got caught staring at fat people at bar, asked guy his weight
- Brendan admitted to preparing only 15 seconds before performing
- Tony and panel declared instant retirement, rare moment of consensus on poor performance
- Panel criticized set structure and lack of substance throughout extended interview
Set: Kyle's first stand-up explored why burial ground curses only affect houses, not stores like Kmart or Costco, extended with digressions about porn titles and audience reactions.
Interview: 30-year-old construction worker from Texas who was in prison for 3 years for DEA-related charges. Panel explored his art skills (charcoal drawings), time in prison, and physical appearance.
- Why are houses built on burial grounds cursed but not Costco?
- Porn video titles and their unexpected consequences
- Audience member interrupted set repeatedly, praised by Tony for tension-building
- Panel focused on Kyle's disproportionate body (large forearms, small head)
- Kyle revealed 3-year prison sentence for DEA agent's stolen gun and computer
Set: Jessica's first stand-up was brief, joking that her only superpower is cleaning house 10 minutes before guests arrive and that she was dragged to the show by her husband.
Interview: Retail manager and mom, married, brought by her husband who is a podcast fan. Tony and George W. Bush were protective of her, limiting roasts.
- My only superpower is cleaning right before someone arrives
- Tony protective of Jessica, ended interview early to avoid breaking her spirit
- George W. Bush made crude comment about her nipples and bikini top
Set: Thomas joked about Austin's homogeneous culture, R. Kelly comparisons, controlling girlfriends, and arguments against deplatforming R. Kelly to preserve baby-making music.
Interview: Austin resident, waiter at Mexican restaurant, plays bass guitar, skateboards, does artwork. Lost $200 in Vegas, attended comedy shows including Dave Attell and Jeffrey Ross.
- Austin guys all look the same, want to watch you fuck their wife
- R. Kelly rules similar to mine, de-platforming erases baby-making music
- Girlfriend driving dangerously, I give her rules like a cool dad
- Thomas delivered solid structured jokes without being thrown off, earned praise from Tony
- Thomas revealed belief in conspiracy theories including Antarctica pyramids and flat earth denial
- Won Infowars poster contest with Al Gore climate change joke illustration
Set: John's strong set about texting his mom about a 'gender bender' car accident with autocorrect mix-up, leading to her thinking he came out as transgender.
Interview: 5-year veteran from Dallas, worked in maintenance at hotels, Air Force crew chief on B-52s, grew up in South Carolina near hog farms.
- Texted mom 'gender bender' instead of 'fender bender', she thinks I'm trans
- Mom asks if insurance covers transition after hearing gender bender
- I've been rear-ended enough times to know insurance covers it
- Tony did not expect the punchline, called it amazing and applauded
- John revealed Randy is his father, they appear to know each other
Set: Colt's first stand-up about following trends despite saying you wouldn't, earthqu akes from shaking at bars, and someone's ass tremor affecting his drink.
Interview: 23-year-old first-timer martial arts instructor, homeschooled, didn't attend college. Demonstrates impressive high kicks and yo-yo skills. Received major applause from crowd.
- Would jump off bridge if everyone else is, why trust a shitty bridge
- Earthquake at bar was actually woman shaking ass, tremor hit my drink
- George W. Bush did splits alongside Colt as they bonded over martial arts
- Colt performed high kick bottle challenge, nearly kicked George W. Bush in face
- Revealed he is professional yo-yo performer and won championships
- Mentioned yo-yos are ancient Chinese weapons during interview
Set: Cody's first stand-up contrasted conventional wisdom about following others with irony, jokes about avoiding crowded bars but doing it anyway, and accidental earthquake from someone's ass in a bar.
Interview: 27-year-old (turning 28 next day) elevator mechanic from Garland, Texas, recently married, wife works in restaurant customer service. Grew up with cows behind house.
- If everyone jumps off bridge, would jump too—why trust shitty bridge
- Do things everyone does like crowded bars I hate, then woman's ass shakes drink
- Elevator mechanic job has its ups and downs
- Tony offered to be his new dad based on being good human and father having cancer
- Cody allowed Colt to kick his hat off head as episode finale
- Revealed father has cancer in remission, dad is liberal contrary to Cody's politics