Colt McNeely

Colt discusses shortening his name, making joke about remaking 'Holes' with all-female cast, comment about blacks and gays not getting along, and joke about Melania Trump being the first lady.

• Saw movie 'Holes,' remaking with all-female cast. Asks 'even better holes?'
• Blacks and gays don't get along; joke about both dads walking out.
• Looked at first ladies; Melania Trump might be the first lady.

Colt discussed his new apartment, political topics, missing when 'Antifa' was just his black friend's cool aunt, appreciation for gay bars and their heavy pours, and performed tricks with a yo-yo.

• Misses when Antifa was just his black friend's cool aunt
• Gay bars pour heavier drinks than straight bars because bartenders pour like they're doing something specific
• Performed yo-yo tricks after claiming to be a professional yo-yoer

Colt made jokes comparing himself to dying/becoming Dane Cook, discussed weird interactions on 6th Street including albino people eating ass, Palestine pun about pals with steins, and light politics.

• Either die as Matt Rife or live long enough to become Dane Cook
• Albino people eating best ass because they have pink eye already
• Palestine joke - 'they're not pals with any steins'

Colt discusses baby wipes for butt-wiping instead of toilet paper, comparing sensation to oral sex, jokes about ex-girlfriend selling nudes on Snapchat for pizza prices.

• Baby wipes feel like oral sex but you never worry about them throwing up on your butt cheeks.
• Ex-girlfriend sells nudes on Snapchat for same price as pepperoni pizza, pepperoni nipples joke.

Colt does short jokes about his brother's mummy face, living next to a tennis court (racket pun), drunk girls and Uber, and lip tarts changing manhole to maintenance hole because of the word 'man'.

• Brother had big mummy face, didn't get wrapped up in it
• Lived by tennis court, had to move because of racket
• Lip tarts changing manhole to maintenance hole, ignores vinegar/n-word

Colt does a second night in a row, joking about his absent father who bought him a boomerang, his puppy peeing on him, and his girlfriend attending his show.

• Dad bought boomerang instead of playing catch
• Puppy's holes in socks are from excitement not poverty

Colt's first stand-up about following trends despite saying you wouldn't, earthqu akes from shaking at bars, and someone's ass tremor affecting his drink.

• Would jump off bridge if everyone else is, why trust a shitty bridge
• Earthquake at bar was actually woman shaking ass, tremor hit my drink