Kill Tony #437
Lineup
Chris B
Set: Chris discussed catching his 4-year-old son playing with his nipples and put him in Jiu-Jitsu for an outlet. He asked why Walmart doesn't sell walls.
Interview: Chris is a 12-year roofer from Vancouver married for 20 years, doesn't drink, enjoys yoga and working out at Wreck Beach. Tony noted he was extremely boring.
- Caught son playing with nipples, worried about future activities.
- Son in Jiu-Jitsu as outlet instead of punching dad's dick.
- Walmart doesn't sell walls.
- Tony noted Chris was the most boring person on the show, resetting expectations for the episode.
Set: Trevor read three WikiHow comedy tips about starting strong, pausing after jokes, and using repetition. He stated he ran out of ideas.
Interview: Trevor's friend signed him up without telling him. He improvised the set while reading his phone's lock screen. He broke danced to win over the crowd.
- WikiHow tip: start strong and don't be afraid to write set.
- WikiHow tip: pause after jokes for audience to laugh.
- WikiHow tip: repetition is funny, then admitted running out of ideas.
- Trevor performed unannounced breakdancing during interview, winning crowd back after bad set.
- Trevor was signed up by friend without his knowledge and didn't know he was performing.
Set: Rob joked about picturing audience naked with bigger dicks, STD test scores of 802/10, and a story about going to Robin after Jiu-Jitsu with a friend from jail.
Interview: Rob is a glassblower for 5-6 years from Vancouver, single after 6-month long-distance relationship with girl from Alberta. Met at bar, took her to seawall. Tony praised his strong opener.
- Picturing naked audience with bigger dicks makes him more nervous.
- Proud of STD test score of 802/10.
- Friend from jail expected to pay $25 not $25 cents.
- Audience heckled during set, Tony interrupted to enforce the no-heckling rule.
- Tony praised Rob's opening as one of the hardest things in stand-up and the first big laugh of the night.
Set: Ryan discussed how people lie a lot, mentioned Lizzo lying about being sexy, talked about his own lies (being rich, hair). Joked about dryer sheets at strip club and having sex at United Center.
Interview: Ryan grows hash for 2 years, dated for 10 years then broke up. Had sex at Chicago United Center penalty box in stairwell. Got anal on second encounter.
- People lie about everything including Lizzo being sexy and men respecting her.
- Lied to self about being rich, having hair, girls liking bald guys.
- Threw dryer sheets at strip club like throwing money, for towel freshness.
- Tony criticized Ryan's extremely long setup about lying for minimal punchline payoff.
- Ryan revealed he had sex at Chicago United Center penalty box in a fire exit stairwell.
Set: John joked about school shooters killing bullies/teachers, being pro-abortion up to three abortions, fourth requiring saving a life. Dark edgy material with strong punchlines.
Interview: John previously appeared on show where he got first kiss from multiple girls. Now lost virginity to girl met on Plenty of Fish dating app. Had sex watching serial killer documentaries, then anal on second encounter.
- School shooter kills bully or teacher creates moral confusion situations.
- Pro-abortion for three, fourth requires saving someone's life in exchange.
- John returned after previous memorable appearance where he received first kisses from multiple women on stage.
- John revealed he lost virginity after previous Kill Tony appearance via Plenty of Fish dating app.
- Set was strong with compelling dark material and well-timed punchlines throughout.
Set: Sam discussed lying, two/three holes distinction, and his preference for anal only. Strong dark material with excellent delivery and charismatic presence.
Interview: Sam recently performed in Calgary and Edmonton. Got booed off stage in Edmonton twice. Struggling financially. Tony noted incredible delivery and charisma despite edgy material.
- Almost everything told and read is a lie, contrary to golden rule.
- Two types of people: those with two holes vs three holes.
- He only has sex anally, period.
- Sam wore distinctive long coat described as 'Indiana Jones from North Pole' by Tony.
- Sam got booed off stage in Edmonton twice but destroyed in Vancouver.
- Sam performed 'O Canada' parody with Greta about stolen native land and fraud.
Set: Edem (Adam) joked about religious leaders being high-functioning schizophrenics. Made joke about masturbating ambidextrous to prevent whacker's curve.
Interview: Adam is 37, does building restoration. Previously managed Chronic Tacos and dispensary. From Ghana originally, family moved to Saskatoon then he moved to Vancouver 15 years ago.
- Great religious leaders are high-functioning schizophrenics convincing people of imaginary friends.
- Masturbated ambidextrous to prevent whacker's curve, have dick ready for action.
- Tony made Bill Cosby/Urkel comparison to Edem's appearance.
- Edem revealed he's from Ghana, which Tony and panel joked about being known for chocolate and gold.
Set: Todd (Golden Ticket winner) joked about pronouns, being married ending dating opportunities, comparing himself to Lizzo/Rebel Wilson if they went wrong. Discussed dad bod and being 400 pounds.
Interview: Todd has been cashing in on Golden Ticket since Seattle appearance, performed at Kill Tony Mania. Growing hair to lose 100 pounds but gained 12 instead. Married 13 years. Professional nutritionist.
- Being named Brad gives free pass to douchebag behavior like bringing vodka Red Bull to baby shower.
- Bugging girlfriend for road head, she surprised him on 99 bus.
- Playing 'Winnie the Pooh' game: walks around naked in t-shirt calling girlfriend Piglet.
- Todd returned as Golden Ticket winner, one of very few to cash in multiple times.
- Tony spent extended time roasting Todd's weight with creative insults about wife, belly, shadows.
- Todd revealed he eats two boxes of cereal daily, mixing Shredded Wheat with Fruity Pebbles.
Bradley Sikosky
Erika
Set: Erika joked about Instagram cessation leading to attention-seeking on streets with Polaroids. Discussed how homeless population would increase with out-of-work Instagram models. Referenced DMs and dating.
Interview: Erika first-time stand-up, no prior experience. Boyfriend huge Kill Tony fan who suggested she perform. Also paints houses. Competed professionally in CrossFit for years. Studied anatomy in Australia, body plasticized in museum.
- Instagram closure would create street corners full of attention-seekers with Polaroid pics.
- Homeless population would include out-of-work Instagram models on Casper mattresses.
- How would guys slide into DMs? Carrying dick pics, whispering DTF in pockets.
- Erika performed handstand walk during interview, impressing crowd with CrossFit skills.
- Erika revealed she dissected full human body plasticized in Australian anatomy museum exhibit.
- First female performer of night killed with short 48-second set as first-time comedian.