Kill Tony #745 — James McCann, Jeff Dye
Guests: James McCann · Jeff Dye
Lineup
Set: Tarique discusses trying to be more 'black,' his contradictory appearance (Prius with Hellcat sticker), and recounts advice from his father about sexual restraint that was inappropriate given his age.
Interview: Tony and guests learn Tarique is one year into comedy, from Boise Idaho, half black and half Puerto Rican, grew up with a black stepfather, and recently became interested in gongs.
- Prius with Hellcat sticker bit about appearing to know both dads
- Father's inappropriate sexual advice when he was 12 years old
- Close-up magic as the blackest thing about him
- Tarique reveals he plays a 28 inch Vietnamese gong he keeps in his car
- Tony does close-up magic trick with Tarique's phone
Diego Delgadio
Frank
Set: Frank discusses dating an African-American woman who is very Caucasian, mentions waking up a 'monster' during sex, responds to Reddit death threats, and tells a ghost/boo jeans joke.
Interview: Frank reveals this is his second appearance on Kill Tony, that he prepared nothing, responds defensively to criticism about his previous forgettable performance, and admits he ran 8 miles to the show.
- Woman saying 'Ooh' during sex awakened something deep inside
- What kind of jeans does a ghost wear? Boo jeans.
- Frank is the first performer in 12.5 years to have his jokebook repossessed by Tony for poor performance
- Tony suggests Frank is like the opposite of 9/11 (August 28th), completely forgettable
Bob
Set: Bob discusses being beautiful in the dark, always signing guest books for alibis, pretending to be a squirrel when crossing streets, and dating a short bisexual woman who said he eats like a girl.
Interview: Bob reveals he's been signing up for 3 years continuously, just changed his name from Robert to Bob and got pulled for the first time, is 100% Slovakian, works as a handyman, and is starting a beverage company.
- Always signs guest books to have an alibi when needed
- Pretends to be squirrel when crossing streets for excitement
- Short bisexual ex-girlfriend said he eats like a girl
- Bob reveals he has a son named Little Bear met at previous Kill Tony in San Antonio
- Bob claims to have Amazon women guarding his ship on international waters, changing crew every 9 months when impregnated
Set: Benny discusses being 'Louisiana sober' (drinking, smoking, and fucking cousins as a joke), being the hottest girl in his family, getting hit on by a gay Uber driver who questioned his sexuality.
Interview: Benny reveals he had missed a previous bucket pull opportunity due to a Tinder date with a fat woman with a broken leg/walking boot, had sex with her in his Subaru, and works as a pool boy.
- 'Louisiana sober' means drinking, smoking, and fucking cousins
- Being the hottest girl his family ever produced
- Gay Uber driver questioning if he ever had good dick before
- Benny accidentally made chlorine bomb mixing two chemicals in bucket for dog waste, nearly killed himself and dogs
- Had sex in Subaru backseat with catfished overweight woman on walking boot
Set: Dedric performs high-energy observational comedy about eating dry toaster strudels, Ouija boards with illiterate dead friends, being 35 years old with no healing ability (reverse wolverine), and acid reflux compared to Jesus's suffering.
Interview: Dedric reveals he's a Kill Tony regular who performs a new minute every week, is a fan of Monster Truck Jam and hardcore band Between the Buried and Me, plays badminton, and enjoys theme parks and arcades.
- Eating dry toaster strudels after drinking all the strudel juice
- Using Ouija board with dead best friend who can't spell
- Being 35 with no healing ability, reverse Wolverine, comparing to Jesus
- Dedric introduced as newest Kill Tony regular who performs new minute every week
- High-energy extended riff about all the fun activities he does (theme parks, arcades, bowling, Six Flags, parties)
Chen
Set: Chen performs observational racism jokes about Jewish people and hats, hip-hop artists and beatboxing, but wishes racism could be positive, ending with a joke about giving a white guy a ukulele.
Interview: Chen revealed signing up as 'Charlie' instead of 'Chen' due to fatigue, discusses being laid off from bank work in Canada, now works fixing computers at university, still trans but postponed surgery due to financial constraints from job loss.
- Jewish people wear tiny hats because they miss having a tip
- Hip-hop artists hit women because they love to beatbox
- Gave white guy ukulele and now he can't stop playing it
- Chen accidentally signed up as 'Charlie' due to long work day, causing gender confusion during interview
- Discusses mother's negative reaction to transition and concerns about government DEI policies
- Extended discussion about trans identity, sexuality, and boyfriend dynamics
Set: Asher discusses a date where his date mentioned her ex's penis size was comparable to his, had to sit through Twilight previews while processing this, and performs a joke about measuring his dick against TV remotes (including accidentally turning on Disney Channel).
Interview: Asher reveals he's been doing standup for one year in LA, got fired from supplement store for missing work due to Kill Tony appearance, has a one-year-old black child with black ex-girlfriend, watches black pornography, and is applying to work at Vans.
- Date mentioned ex's penis size comparable to his during movie previews
- Measuring penis against Comcast remote doesn't reach guide button
- Measuring against Roku remote feels better due to size difference
- Asher reveals he has a one-year-old child with black woman and now dating thick white woman
- James McCann jokes about 'Draymond ain't sticking around to raise the child'
- Asher mentions mother did heroin while pregnant, resulting in eczema