Kill Tony #389 — Ms Pat
Guests: Ms Pat
Lineup
Set: Joel discusses drinking games, spilled beer with cat hair, and getting drunk with friends doing impressions like Dobby from Harry Potter.
Interview: Tony and Ms Pat roast Joel extensively about being extremely white, living in his car in San Clemente, working at a liquor store, and having a DUI at 21. They discover he golfs, eats salads, and watches black porn.
- Spilled beer with cat hair in it during drinking game
- Friend does Dobby impression claiming can't handle financial burdens
- Tony and Ms Pat extensively roast Joel about his extreme whiteness and lifestyle
- Joel reveals he's never kissed a black woman; Aphrodite helps him with a kiss
Set: Steven talks about calling his mom, his parents finding his podcast called 'Virginia is for Druggies,' and them deciding it wasn't appropriate for kids.
Interview: Steven discusses working at a dispensary with flexible shifts, smoking weed constantly, taking photos of weed for social media, doing psychedelics, and previously using cocaine and MDMA.
- Parents google his name, find podcast 'Virginia is for Druggies' instead
- Steven admits to doing multiple drugs including coke and MDMA when his parents found out he used drugs
Set: Evan does a mime bit, then discusses how service dogs are depressed because nobody pets them, and tells a story about almost dying from a bear encounter.
Interview: Evan discusses working with Savage Henry magazine in Humboldt County, doing drugs including meth, attending reggae shows, and admitting he's bad at flirting and dating.
- Service dogs depressed because thousands of people won't pet them
- Bear encounter; doesn't know if medical examiner can tell if you shit yourself
- Evan admits to using meth three times, once while getting driven by meth user
Set: Andrew does material about service dogs being depressed, almost dying from a bear encounter, and jokes about medical examiners and bodily functions.
Interview: Andrew discusses being Italian and Irish from Boston, running ultra marathons for 10 years, breaking up with girlfriend who cheated with a one-eyed ex, and his 7-year relationship.
- Service dogs are depressed because nobody pets them at airports
- Almost died recently; unsure if medical examiner knows if you shit yourself
- Ms Pat compliments Andrew as the only attractive white boy of the night
Set: Councilman Buchi jokes about being elected to Newark California city council, being unqualified like most politicians, winning reelection unopposed due to voter apathy, and his political accomplishments.
Interview: Buchi reveals he's only been doing standup 3 weeks, started at punchline in San Francisco, is married 15 years with a 5-year-old daughter named Kendra, and had double retina detachment leaving him partially blind.
- Newark is best-kept secret like lost city of Atlantis nobody knows
- Won reelection in landslide because nobody ran against him due to voter apathy
- Reveals he had double retina detachment, went blind for 4.5 months in both eyes
Set: Todd jokes about looking like Kurt Cobain with donuts, doctor telling him he has high blood pressure and pre-diabetes, and doctor saying he'll take pills for life instead of losing weight.
Interview: Todd discusses being a professional wrestler for 18 years, recent trip to England with his wife, lifestyle with larger partner, and getting put through a table by the band.
- Looks like Kurt Cobain but likes putting donuts in mouth instead of bullets
- Doctor says take pills for life; no mention of losing weight as option
- Golden ticket winner from Portland episode returns; band puts him through a table
Set: William jokes about Milli Vanilli's death, getting fired from QVC for heroin addiction, having cat parties on acid, and a cat named Edward Francis from high school.
Interview: William discusses taking acid and rounding up neighborhood cats for parties, his neighbor Ralph, feeding cats easy cheese and crack, and pretending an Armenian cat went to high school with him.
- Moment of silence for Milli Vanilli's Roth Anderson on Labor Day
- Takes acid and rounds up neighborhood cats for cat parties
- William performs dance moves to Cat Stevens that Tony finds surprising
Set: Kelsey talks about buying a suction cup dildo from a sex shop, fucking every room in her apartment, and jokes about Trump building walls.
Interview: Kelsey discusses having a 7-inch brown dildo, lesbian relationship, scissoring, having 4 dildos total, girlfriend breaking one while sleeping with it inside, and various sexual techniques.
- Buys suction cup dildo; wants concrete and brick to be better for fucking
- Ms Pat asks detailed questions about lesbian sex practices and dildo usage