Kill Tony #52 — Jimmy Shubert, Jeremiah Watkins
Guests: Jimmy Shubert · Jeremiah Watkins
Lineup
Set: Set about a teacher giving a -50 penalty for talking during a test, then a second premise about an angry customer at an AT&T store who gets thrown out.
Interview: Discussed how Marcus rushes through material due to time constraints and the importance of connecting with the audience rather than just jamming in jokes.
- Teacher assigns -50 points before test even begins for talking
- Angry customer threatens AT&T clerk with crazy glue over broken iPhone
- Marcus delivers set at extremely high speed, barely fits within 60 seconds
Set: Set about being popular on Vine (a dying social network) with 9,000 followers by naming himself 'cute cat videos,' contrasting with zero traction on Twitter despite a suicide joke.
Interview: Discussed his Vine strategy, having two cats with roommate, and various tangential topics ranging from cat care to Japanese porn censorship.
- 9,000 Vine followers means 9,000 people who never used Vine again
- Named himself 'cute cat videos' to exploit naming system, followers expected actual cats
- Panel discussion devolves into absurd tangents about cat care, wire-wearing cats, and diabetic cats
- Discussion veers into Japanese porn and censorship
Set: First-ever stand-up set observing a homeless couple sharing pizza, noting how they work together better than he does in relationships, and musing on how they meet.
Interview: Confirmed as first-time performer with remarkable stage presence. Panel praised his observational humor and stage comfort, offering coaching on punchlines and stage presence.
- Homeless couple splits pizza perfectly, he can't even make relationships work
- First-time performer praised for stage presence and comfort despite no prior stand-up experience
- Jimmy Shubert compliments Jordan's material and stage presence, offering coaching on punchlines
Set: 19-year-old Harvard computer science student (half Chinese, half Japanese) performs about her boyfriend struggling to get hard, cultural conflict between her Chinese and Japanese sides, and mixed heritage.
Interview: Discussed her Harvard education, involvement in Harvard Lampoon, performing at Comedy Studio in Boston, and balancing comedy with computer science degree.
- Boyfriend has erectile dysfunction, Lego Movie helpful reference
- Cultural conflict: Chinese side wants Chinese boyfriend, Japanese side wants Japanese, American side says 'they're all yellow'
- Under-21 performer on Kill Tony, panelists protective due to age despite her Harvard credentials
- Discussion of Rape of Nanjing and Japanese-Chinese historical conflict
- Jimmy Shubert gives extended coaching about not giving up comedy for computer science degree
Set: Set comparing cake to ice cream cake and ice cream, escalating to sexual analogies about discovering new preferences and fear of becoming a deviant.
Interview: Discussion about cake preferences, sexual exploration, butt stuff, and various tangential topics about deviancy and experimentation.
- Ice cream cake better than regular cake; fear of liking something sexual he can't stop doing
- If try weird sexual thing and like it, becomes obsessed forever like with ice cream cake
- Panel riffs on multiple sets of breasts, pig-like reproduction concepts, and increasingly absurd sexual scenarios
Set: Regular performer with joke about repressed childhood sexual abuse memories and absent father, asking if he molested her instead of other kids.
Interview: Discussed her drinking, Memorial Day activities (bed, Game of Thrones), and coaching on not apologizing for punchlines like 'baby butt.'
- May have repressed molestation memories, asks if absent father molested her since easy access
- Jimmy Shubert coaches her not to apologize for punchlines, to own 'baby butt' confidently
Set: Regular performer discussing corn on the cob holders at a barbecue, questioning why they exist and whether corn holders look like corn.
Interview: Extensive riffing with panel about corn holders, barbecue foods, GMO corn, squirrels, and increasingly absurd tangents about corn as sustainable food source.
- Why do corn holders exist if not for germaphobes afraid of touching corn?
- Corn holders shaped like corn—absurd design parallels to other foods
- Extended panel riffing about GMO corn, squirrels, digestive tracking, feeding Africa corn, and picking up corn with corn holders
Set: Late-episode minute about fresh pepper mills at restaurants, waiter with carpal tunnel syndrome requiring bus boys, and critiquing restaurant terminology like 'care for dessert.'
- Waiter's pepper mill so bad bus boys have to work it from behind
- Critiques restaurant phrase 'care for dessert'—want direct language not emotional commitment
- Jimmy performs closing minute as regular feature of Kill Tony, demonstrating new material weekly