Kill Tony #558 — Duncan Trussell, Doug Stanhope, Michael Yo
Guests: Duncan Trussell · Doug Stanhope · Michael Yo
Lineup
Set: Hans observes staring at women in public, separating snowboarding by gender, and perversion. He compares beautiful women to scenic sunsets that can yell at you.
Interview: Hans discusses his recent success living in apartment after van life, eating four steaks on road trip, being bullied by Tony/Rogan, and admitting he's autistic which makes his brutal honesty funny.
- Beautiful woman compared to breathtaking scenic sunset that can yell at you.
- Snowboarding separated by gender because pile of jackets has vagina making flips worth more.
- Hans admits vagina is favorite female body part, navel is fourth, eyes would be kept from murdered women.
- Tony notes Hans's autism makes his honesty comedy gold without pre-planning.
Set: Bernard changed his name from Bernard Allen to Whitey as bouncer, discusses how people ask for him by name, calls audience racist for not saying his name when asked.
Interview: Bernard is 42, retired from game programming, does voice work and erotic ASMR, gives out free joints, does black Santa Claus bit, likes large women and Asian women.
- Changed name to Whitey as bouncer so people find him by asking for him.
- Mr. T as Black Santa Claus with 'I pity the fools' replaced by 'pity the hoes'.
- Red band accidentally calls him out on racist slur by saying 'call me a n-word'.
- Bernard discusses meeting women at bars through weed and mentions glory holes in the wall.
Set: Jay talks about being collegiate athlete, former tennis player and drug dealer, coked up tennis players, and white guys putting anything in their nose.
Interview: Jay is pale Mexican from San Antonio who was paramedic for 10 years before January stand-up start. Tony critiques his bombing for 5+ minutes straight.
- Was collegiate tennis player and team drug dealer; coked up tennis players just keep faulting.
- Jay bombs catastrophically for 5+ minutes straight, Tony suggests vitamins and sunlight as remedy.
- Tony has Jay redo his tennis player bit without setup using Parkinson's disease reference.
Set: Doug performs a very brief minute with minimal words, just saying 'that's been all my time' to immediate applause.
Interview: Doug joins panel after quick set, discusses how failure makes him laugh, excited to watch new comedians, jokes about red band smoking on stage.
- Doug does almost silent set with almost no content, kills anyway as established comedian.
Set: EJ does first-ever stand-up set, tells jokes about gender reveal parties, wondering how he'll die, girlfriend tanning, black version of Annie as no-knock warrant.
Interview: EJ is first-time ever comedian visiting from Marstown New Jersey for birthday, builds custom fences and does upholstery, plays guitar and performs blues/rock.
- Gender reveal party at 32 years old; girlfriend tans so much their kids are black.
- Black version of Annie is a no-knock warrant.
- EJ performs impressive guitar solo with blues/rock shredding, stuns panel with talent.
- Tony urges EJ never to do stand-up again and focus on music instead.
Set: Tristan does golden ticket winner set about tasting own semen, comparing it to cooking, eating fruit for better taste, and sexual confidence.
Interview: Tristan is nearly 24, golden ticket winner from Phoenix, moved in with girlfriend Hayley, works two jobs, still raps, discussed bowel habits and pooping with door open.
- Good chef tastes meal before serving; boyfriend should taste his own before offering.
- Will catch own semen in air like seal if girlfriend says it doesn't taste good.
- Tristan wins golden ticket, instantly knows when 60 seconds is up and ends perfectly.
- Tristan attempts rap performance at end with mixed results; Lady in Jon Benet hat roasted.
Set: Yasin does first-ever stand-up about being Arab Muslim, not devout, won't suicide bomb, jokes about 72 virgins vs dirty sex workers, offensive Muslim stereotypes.
Interview: Yasin is 26, Iraqi, first time ever on stage, computer science student wanting to be esports player, stole a Butterfinger as naughtiest thing, pale for Iraqi.
- Won't suicide bomb, wishes 72 virgins were dirty sex workers instead of virgins.
- Yasin misspells Hajj as H-A-J-E instead of H-A-J-J, Tony corrects him publicly.
- Red band activates bear sound early, cuts set short due to audience discomfort.
Set: Ellen, first-time ever comedian, does observational humor about mosquitoes, Google Home, giving dogs dumb voices, fake crimes, being scared of fish.
Interview: Ellen from Oklahoma City, visited for concert, husband Logan has been listening to podcast since start of year, both signed up to perform together.
- As soon as got out of car got bit by mosquito; asked if God would pronounce 'Jawed'.
- Gives dog dumb voice when it wants food, creating funny impressions.
- Tony introduces as first female comedian of night, but she performed with husband Logan also.
Set: Logan's first-ever set does jokes about orange cherry saying, vasectomy/princess cut, pool billiards being called tonyards, Tony selling green beans to children.
Interview: Logan from Oklahoma City married to Ellen since age 20 (5 years married), owns cyber security company, she's housewife, into Indiana/symbolism tattoo.
- Once you pop cherry orange is around corner; vasectomy is princess cut.
- William named pool billiards, Tony sells green beans to children.
- Tony can't understand cherry/orange joke but crowd loves it anyway; inconsistent punchline.
Set: William does surgical precision jokes about Jordan Peele, Zuckerberg metaverse kissing, NFL draft/Vietnam comparison, religious nuts, hunter Biden laptop/lap dance, metaverse kissing as fleshlight.
Interview: William announces Kirkland Signature sponsorship deal worth $400k over 2 years, discusses picking up stranger, murdering him while discussing tinker toys, texting while driving with knife.
- Zuckerberg's metaverse kissing device already exists; it's called a Fleshlight.
- NFL draft reminds of Vietnam; Hunter Biden laptop not lap dance.
- William announces real $400k Kirkland Signature sponsorship deal with commercial appearances.
- William tells elaborate dark story about picking up homeless man, handcuffing him, almost murdering him over tinker toys discussion.
Interview: Duncan explains he left previous show to pee while high/drunk, first time on stage since pandemic, emotional experience, friends from LA noticed Texas had more fun during COVID.
- Duncan reveals he left previous episode to pee while intoxicated and emotional.
Michael Yo
Interview: Michael is panel guest with new YouTube special, asks questions during interviews, congratulates performers.
Interview: Doug joins panel after brief bucket set, provides comments on new comedians' performances, discusses first time starting in comedy store.
- Doug notes failure makes him laugh, encourages new comedians despite difficulty.