Mike Diaz
Mike Diaz has performed on Kill Tony 5 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Friends decided to measure their dicks in middle school. Black friend measured 7 inches; another 6 inches; he measured 4 inches. Friends never mocked him but did high fives around him saying 'huge dicks'.
- Friends measured dicks in middle school; his was 4 inches; friends high-fived around him
Dark material about Hillary Clinton pedophile conspiracy, ancient philosophers, mother's grooming advice, extended joke about stroking without finishing. Set included disturbing imagery around child abuse.
- Hillary Clinton Democratic pedophile conspiracy; ancient philosophers had 'untapped knowledge in boy fucking.'
- Mother taught 100 strokes before bed; took years to finish without climaxing.
Jokes about fornicating with girlfriend and recording sex videos. Camera doesn't add inches, considering Extenze. Discusses children like trampolines - don't need one at home. Debates jumping on trampolines with shoes on. Set is robotic and uncertain.
- Recording sex videos shows camera doesn't add inches
- Children are like trampolines - nice to have elsewhere
Mike does 29 seconds on vegans at In-N-Out, then pivots to a full bit about masturbating in the shower with roommates, semen and water creating sticky consistency, and accidentally getting it in his hair.
- Vegans want In-N-Out options; eat Tom's shoes instead.
- Roommates force shower jerking off; semen + water = sticky booger.
Nine-month comedy novice discussing Looney Tunes and Space Jam, attempting race-related jokes about cartoon history with weak execution.
- Bugs Bunny possibly first trans woman on TV and may have fucked Elmer Fudd
- Looney Tunes cartoons had racist content but bounced back to play basketball with Michael Jordan