Kill Tony #219 — Kurt Metzger, Wheeler Walker Jr., Ron White

Set: New transplant from small-town New York discusses moving to LA, dating on Tinder, and being told he looks like Quagmire from Family Guy.

Interview: Tony and panel critique his setup structure and lack of logic in the premise. Discussion of his Subaru, work in high-end retail, and limited comedy experience (4 months, about a dozen open mics).

Set: Three-year comedy veteran from Virginia with jokes about flipping pillow to Steve McQueen side, friend doing 7-to-11 for robbery, Southern Baptist dad and gravy, and dad trying to rid Southeast Asia of communism.

Interview: Tony and Ron discuss his title insurance job, ecology degree, dating experience with a woman he met at Runyon Canyon whose dog she liked more than him. Extended conversation about stepsister porn search history.

Set: Discusses vacation and solid bowel movements signaling end of vacation. Works for Lift and questions logic of 'drive like your kids live here' vs 'drive like your pets live here' signs.

Interview: Went to Mazatlan with husband; she works at Maple Block Meat Company restaurant; married almost two years to an architect; drinks 5-6 nights per week; smokes weed; likes bang bus porn and algebra.

Set: Combats crazy with crazy. Story about homeless man asking if jacket is bulletproof; she responds asking if it's rape-proof. Second story about man in knife fight during her pizza eating.

Interview: From North Carolina and Florida; opened for Eliza Schlesinger in Vegas and Oxnard; single; likes all men, especially black men; got in violent fight in Air Force over a boyfriend.

Set: Raising daughter as feminist; she complains boys won't let her play four square. He tells her never let anyone tell her she can't do something. Son asks about him; he calls son a straight white cisgendered piece of shit and kicks him out.

Interview: Age 36, from Fresno; works at Apple Store part-time; married 13 years; bangs wife every Sunday; previously worked at T-Mobile for 7 years. Doctor gave him 'daddy stitch' after wife's episiotomy.

Set: Struggling on ramen noodles. Comedy needs to elevate him beyond instant noodles as survival food. Woman friend-zoned him; he misunderstood and suggested playing ball and grabbing beer with 'hoes'.

Interview: Works retail at Walmart Burbank for 7 years. Ron White shares his own early comedy struggles. Discussion of most gourmet thing he's put in ramen (real chicken). Middle name is Calisisan.

Set: Friends decided to measure their dicks in middle school. Black friend measured 7 inches; another 6 inches; he measured 4 inches. Friends never mocked him but did high fives around him saying 'huge dicks'.

Interview: Had girlfriend for 4 years since July. Works as Lyft driver. Traveled to Atlantic City for Super Smash Brothers tournament. Has 4.8 Lift rating. Ron White praises his honesty about his performance.