Kill Tony #543

Set: Hans discusses being shoved in NYC as an Asian person, compares protection of women vs. poop on TV, makes jokes about nipple pasties and burkas, absurdist humor throughout.

Interview: Hans discusses his Vegas trip, tries nitrous oxide in Philadelphia, talks extensively about getting hand jobs from the same girl multiple times in one night, discusses fear of performing oral sex.

Set: Will jokes about people having sex during 9/11, mentions AAA meetings for tragedy-aroused people, talks about getting HEB from a Texas girl after three months living there.

Interview: Will admits to being too stoned, discusses moving from Charlottesville Virginia four months ago after working at Whole Foods and finishing college, recently works as Expo at Elizabeth Street Cafe.

Set: Will discusses dating a German woman, jokes about losing wars, building a white offensive lineman, conversion of measurements for his penis, girlfriend leaving for guy with diabetes.

Interview: Will has been doing comedy for 5 years, started in Memphis, moved to Houston, now does drywall framing construction, has long-distance girlfriend in Fayetteville Arkansas who is a lawyer.

Set: Darwin describes himself as 50/50, mariachi from waist up and Black from waist down, discusses getting fried chicken tacos and mixed drinks, worried about chancla and police, experiences racism from Mexicans calling him Puerto Rican.

Interview: Darwin has been doing stand-up for 2-3 years, moved to Austin 5 months ago from Dallas, works as Lyft driver in a 2011 Toyota Corolla, had a murderer as passenger.

Set: Ellis makes jokes about lying to ex-girlfriend about being thick, realizes he's the thick one, prayed for fat butt but got it himself instead, discusses specificity in prayers.

Interview: Ellis is Texas State BFA theater student, dressed up to pitch film idea 'Lunch Hour' with Hans Kim (slower rush hour), agent sends him on auditions he can't do, waiting for callbacks.

Set: Eric's first time on stage, jokes about liking white women, new diet called Magic diet with mushrooms, thanks audience for taking his stand-up virginity, compares 60 seconds to his actual virginity loss.

Interview: Eric is 26 from New Hampshire, inspired by Adam Sandler, between jobs with car detailing interview coming, used to work for Enterprise Rent-A-Car, does Muay Thai and Jiu Jitsu.

Set: Braden discusses outdoor sex in winter, cool breeze on taint while making love, doesn't need partner for masturbation outdoors, ex-girlfriend was hippie, recommends finding sunset location instead of apartment.

Interview: Braden doing stand-up 4 years, started in Seattle for 4 years then Massachusetts, performs 20+ times in Boston area recently, just got dispensary job in Massachusetts at $17/hour, used to sell mushrooms.

Set: Collin jokes about having sex with paraplegic girl, can't run away if she tried, girl couldn't feel anything in vagina, preferred anal, used 'did you fall from Heaven' as pickup line.

Interview: Collin is from Pennsylvania, lives in Salt Lake City, been on Kill Tony twice before with longer hair and heavier, been doing stand-up 3 years, works as technician for Ford through VA program.

Set: Leonarda discusses getting old as woman, catcalls stopping, relief at not looking 13 anymore, gender double standard where older men are more attractive, smelling resources on men.

Interview: Leonarda from New York now lives in Austin, been doing stand-up 3 years (will be 3 in April), LSAT tutor for law school, scored 98th percentile, has Black boyfriend who is photographer.

Set: William jokes about losing Meatloaf and Louie Anderson, watching foreign films including Aladdin, looked up ABC lyrics on Rap Genius realizing he'd been saying wrong letters, New Year's resolution to use internet less.

Interview: William recently got crock pot, has been making exclusively soup for breakfast lunch dinner with girlfriend, made 15 bean chili but only found 12 beans, hasn't had bowel movement in 3 days despite soup diet.