Kill Tony #778 — Jimmy Carr
Guests: Jimmy Carr
Lineup
Set: Musical comedy set denying being gay while describing homoerotic situations (priest, childhood friend, gerbil). Uses stage lighting as a prop lie detector. Heavy on absurdist callbacks to his own contradictions.
Interview: Golden ticket winner at 21, now 22. Discussed balancing comedy with other life aspects, dating a 20-year-old girlfriend without GED, living in studio apartment. Jimmy praised his experimental production choices and encouraged continued innovation.
- Hooked lie detector to stage lights to prove he's straight, then admits never kissing man (except priest and childhood friend).
- Discusses how his girlfriend moved in because she has no car or house, making up girlfriend scenario.
- Jimmy Carr compliments experimental production and musical comedy, encourages continued innovation at young age.
- Tony jokes about girlfriend without GED and being breadwinner at 22.
Set: Blue-collar set about quitting drinking 14.5 months, friends crying about Conor McGregor, wife refusing sex, colonoscopy humor. Extensive discussion of asshole appearance and laundry/cleaning metaphors.
Interview: 50-year-old from Kentucky, forklift certified, one prior conviction for meth. Works in oil field hauling drill cuttings. Life-changing journey on Trenbolone steroids for muscle. Has four children ages 13-31, all happy. Revealed only black friend is named Rufus from Chicago.
- Wife won't blow him post-colonoscopy prep; asshole looks ready to settle down.
- Wife cleaning feces off bathroom scales 37 seconds after saying prep didn't work.
- Robert introduces phrase 'stainless steel shitjack' - prison toilet in Kentucky slang.
- Jimmy Carr praises Robert's poetic language, compares to Mark Twain.
- Admits only black friend is Rufus, reveals meth use for 10 years was 'one time', and steroid use (Trenbolone).
Set: First time performing untested minute about clipboard energy and mental health. Described playing game 'Deadpool Pan's Labyrinth' in psychiatric facility while hallucinating. Mentioned red scrubs and 'grippy socks' (psychiatric hospital slang).
Interview: Diagnosed with schizophrenia last year. Started stand-up 14 years ago but mostly off. Life coach charging $150/hour to a dozen clients for 1.5 years. Panel pressed about success rate given schizophrenia diagnosis and lack of mental health certification. Defended herself but received coaching to prepare better next time.
- Clipboard energy so strong man tried signing up on her notebook thinking she was the list.
- Invented game called Deadpool Pan's Labyrinth while psychotic in psychiatric facility.
- Tony explicitly tells her to prepare better, write jokes, and sign up again with tested material.
- Panel skeptical about life coaching credentials given schizophrenia diagnosis and lack of mental health certification.
Set: Opening callback to Lauren Baker's schizophrenia/life coach setup. Tinder/dating jokes including reconnecting with mom, Martin Scorsese 'The Deported' film, tall girls with stubble, jellyfish sting story (pissing in sister's mouth).
Interview: 12 years stand-up, started in Vietnam (7 years), then Bangkok (2 years), now Austin (2.5 months). Taught English in Taiwan/Vietnam. Married Russian coworker for citizenship in Toronto. Banned from Vietnam for visa violations during COVID. Discusses Vietnamese motorbike culture, Bangkok stand-up scene, Canadian vs. Texas friendliness.
- Tinder joke: super-liked mom on dating app, she unmatched then ghosted.
- Pissed in sister's mouth at beach after jellyfish sting instead of standard vinegar.
- Discussed being temporarily banned from Vietnam for visa violations, spent COVID there.
- Panel praised his observational take on Canadian vs. Texas friendliness being underacknowledged.
- Father died of genetic disease; Gary suggested he was his father because of genetic connection.
Set: Bullied by disabled kid with 'retard strength' who tackled him. Got other teams to bully the kid by telling him he was a five-star prospect. Story about Texas Longhorns hiding him until fourth quarter.
Interview: 15 years comedy (starting November). Started in Tallahassee, lived in LA, moved to Austin 6 months ago. Works as AAA dispatcher. Had type 2 diabetes. Collects Batman Animated Series toys, screenwriter, studied in London, huge Jimmy Carr fan. Sports gambler, bets WNBA unders. First Austin kiss occurred during interview when audience volunteer kissed him. Met girlfriend Vietnamese (Megan).
- Bullied kid tackled him constantly; got other teams to bully him by lying he was five-star prospect.
- Audience volunteer Megan came on stage and kissed Michael, his first kiss in Austin.
- Jimmy Carr makes Vietnam war/booby trap joke after learning girlfriend is Vietnamese.
- Michael revealed he bets WNBA games under the spread without watching; panel loved the bit.
Set: Trail mix bit comparing to dry smoothie, discusses M&Ms requirement, punch jokes about nephews and nut punches, eating trail mix for old man strength. Frequent profanity and references to hitting kids.
Interview: Regular on show doing brand new minute weekly. Discussion of trail mix varieties (pecans, cinnamon, honey roasted). Comparison of international jails; mentioned being incarcerated in Japan for 23 days after drugs found in bag. Called Joe Rogan for help. Taught fellow inmates about bail/letters to judge.
- Babies cry when you touch them because they remember dad getting ball-punched.
- Trail mix only good if M&Ms included, otherwise just outside shit. Dry smoothie equivalent to 72 flavors.
- Discussed 23-day jail stay in Japan after drugs found in bag, Joe Rogan helped get him out.
- Panel praised trail mix material and discussed Delta-8 product line coming in September.
- Riffs with panel about raisin disappointment vs. chocolate chip, cinnamon pecans, cranberries.
Set: Racism quarantine joke (Antarctica because hard to say n-word in cold). Teaches white audience 'black words' (cologne, discreet, innuendo) in sentences with double meanings. Ends with window-climbing threat using new 'black words'.
Interview: Discussed almost dying from smoking too much weed/asthma, hospitalized, wouldn't accept throat tube fearing 'being gay'. Son (4, autistic, speech-delayed, stimming). Daughter (1). Father called 2 weeks ago, said he'd call back, hasn't. Smokes despite lung incident. Girlfriend with tongue tattoo. Has song on Spotify. Door guy at venue.
- Racism should end by quarantining all racists in Antarctica, hard to say n-word when cold.
- Teaches white audience 'black words' (cologne, discreet, innuendo) with dirty double-meaning sentences.
- Discussed nearly dying when lungs gave out from smoking weed despite asthma, refused hospital tube fearing being gay.
- Father picked up call 2 weeks ago, said he'd call back, never did.
- Jimmy Carr asked what color he turns when not breathing, referencing white people turning blue.
Set: First time ever performing. Wildfire stripper joke (couldn't see, ate it on lap dance). Mushroom joke punchline 'Shit, Takis?' Very weak material, little structure.
Interview: First-ever attempt at stand-up. Big fan of show. Works as DJ. Came just to express love for show, not serious about comedy. Tony pressured him about preparation and commitment. Jules admitted unprepared, Tony cut interview short.
- Blind stripper named Wildfire couldn't see, ate it (fell into lap dance customer).
- What did one stoned mushroom say to another? Shit, Takis? (reference to stoned snack eating).
- Tony pointed out that Jules came unprepared and didn't take stand-up seriously, just wanted to express fandom.
Set: Texas visits, gun range first-time shooting (crowd USA chants). Dallas crowd went wild, couldn't follow it. Wife is pregnant (38 weeks), talking about having kids because 'she's pregnant'. Doesn't want the bear (alludes to birth).
Interview: From Toronto, Canada. Wife 38 weeks pregnant, he flies back tomorrow to be at birth. Witnessed births before. First kid coming. Dad was a good role model (was present). Naming challenges with last name 'Packer' (Richard, Pussy, Gash all problematic). Panel joked about potential names.
- Texas gun range trip, first time shooting, Dallas crowd started USA chant, couldn't follow it.
- Wife pregnant so they're talking about having kids a lot because conversation dominated by pregnancy.
- Andrew flew to Austin for Kill Tony while wife is 38 weeks pregnant, leaves tomorrow.
- Jimmy Carr advised opening with pregnancy joke, said gun range bit was weaker.
- Panel joked about naming son with surname 'Packer' (Richard Packer, Pussy Packer, Gash Packer all problematic).
Set: Homeschooled from Springfield, Illinois. Hypochondriac friend worried about bird flu. Hates crows (made racist laws). Bad joke: 'Black people can't swim because they're the color of rocks.' Very weak closer, admitted stage fright.
Interview: Brother is autistic, not him (just homeschooled). Joined military as infantryman, served in Iraq (1+ month). Loaded magazine upside down, cried from heat. Saw A-10 gun run. Camel spiders chased his shadow in Iraq. Mom pushed down stairs (joked about fetal alcohol).
- Hates crows, they made racist laws. Black people can't swim because color of rocks.
- Friend's hypochondriac complaints about bird flu; 'yeah, that's what they do' (birds).
- Isaac admitted stage fright, wanted to get off stage. Panel encouraged him to relax and finish.
- Discussed camel spiders in Iraq that chase your shadow when seeking shade.
- Jimmy Carr praised individual voice and surreal comedy despite not liking race joke.
Yehey
Set: Bisexual, dates men (can't scissor due to disability). Doing comedy 1 year, accused of being Blood gang member. Mom made thick skin by saying 'why you look so disabled?' Got fake boobs for $7k cheaper than fixing her body. Crutches implied.
Interview: Has cerebral palsy, 3 months premature. Reunited with father after 14 years (he left at 16), he offered to pay for eye surgery implying her eyes are her problem. Lives in Houston, online math teacher, new boyfriend since March with one testicle (lost to cancer). Drives with hands (can't look at phone). Met boyfriend at Kill Tony signups. 'All holes' in bedroom.
- Bisexual but dates men because can't scissor with women (disability implication).
- Mom said 'why you look so disabled?' growing up, giving her thick skin for comedy.
- Got $7k fake boobs because cheaper than fixing her actual body/disability.
- Yehey caught joke book thrown by Tony at her in previous episode; became viral moment.
- Father reunited with her after 14 years, immediately offered to pay for eye surgery implying that's her problem.
- Tony repeatedly flirted with her, calling her 'oddly hot' and describing her as 'Korean barbecue.'
- Discussed boyfriend with one testicle (cancer), met at Kill Tony signups, dating since March.
Jimmy Carr
Interview: British comedian and panel guest for full episode. Discussed various performers, made jokes, engaged in crowd work. Has new book 'On Jokes' (about joke writing) coming out October, available for preorder. Noted as one of greatest guests in show history, multiple 'Guest of the Year' before award existed.
- Tony introduced Jimmy as one of greatest guests ever, multiple Guest of the Year awards.
- Jimmy compared himself and Tony to ventriloquist dolls, said they would've done well in 1000-year-old music halls.
Interview: Host's sidekick, managed signups, made occasional jokes and observations throughout. Discussed trail mix preferences (cinnamon pecans, honey roasted cashews), suggested edibles for Jay Legend.
- Found gerbil sound effect during Tony Scar interview.