Kill Tony #403 — David Lucas, William Montgomery, Tristan Bowling
Guests: David Lucas · William Montgomery · Tristan Bowling
Lineup
Set: David performs a new minute about racism in nursery rhymes and laundromats, using observational comedy about segregation in washing clothes and childhood education.
Interview: Tony discusses David's affinity for 90s white people music, specifically Hootie and the Blowfish and Matchbox Twenty. The band attempts to play '3 a.m.' and David joins panel.
- Baa baa black sheep is the most racist nursery rhyme ever written.
- Laundromats are racist because you can't wash whites with colors or dark clothes with light clothes.
- David Lucas joins the panel as a new regular on Kill Tony
Set: John, a nurse, tells jokes about ostomy patients, gender-reveal parties, and discusses his work in healthcare with crude humor about bodily functions.
Interview: Tony and panel interview John about his nursing background, his family situation, coaching his son's soccer, and his marriage. The conversation involves banter about his sex life and attractiveness to women.
- Ostomy patient asked if they could still have sex after bowel removal surgery.
- Attended a gender-reveal party but didn't know anyone who was pregnant.
- John's first time ever performing stand-up comedy on any stage
Set: Connor explains and jokes about the Japanese pornography genre bukkake, focusing on sympathy for the last man in such scenes.
Interview: Tony challenges Connor on explaining an obscure topic, learns he's been doing comedy for a year, lives in Oakland, works delivering weed, and is a drummer. Mexican drum-off competition ensues.
- The hundredth guy in a bukkake scene is the one to feel sorry for.
- Connor participates in Mexican drum-off against defending champion Joel Berg
Set: William performs about gravity in space, his recent grocery store trips, and his uncle Richard who allegedly died in a gang-related incident at Alcatraz where he directed movies.
Interview: Tony and panel discuss William's weight loss through P90X. William performs push-ups on stage, then joins panel. Discussion includes banter about fitness and controversy.
- Uncle Richard was a famous Alcatraz movie director who directed Jaws the Revenge.
- William performs numerous push-ups on stage during interview
- William Montgomery joins the panel for remainder of show
Set: Anthony performs observational humor about double standards, CB radios, pretending to be a kid to avoid prison, and jokes about Beyoncé and celebrity chefs.
Interview: Tony learns Anthony just moved from New York, did heavy drugs before performing, works in space technology, plays guitar, and has been with his girlfriend for 12 years. Sexual history discussed.
- Double standard: women sitting on pianos is sexy, pianos on women is dead.
- Beyoncé should have her own TV show as a celebrity chef.
- Anthony's first day ever performing stand-up comedy
Set: Nick performs about Girl Scout cookies name changes, Italian heritage and Columbus Day rants from his father, questioning the progression of offensive language.
Interview: Tony learns Nick has been doing comedy for four years, works in insurance, lives in East Bay/Palo Alto, appeared in Billions, and is moving to LA soon to pursue comedy.
- Girl Scout changed Samoas name to Caramel Delites for progressive reasons.
- Father insists Columbus was Italian not Spanish, now considered genocide.
Set: Tristan performs edgy material about being in a psych ward, suicide, a roommate named Rakesh with voices in his head, and dark humor about mental health.
Interview: Tony discusses Tristan's golden ticket win at age 20, his freestyle rap written specifically for the show, his webbed toes, and panel addition.
- Suicide is a pass/fail class you either do it or you don't.
- Roommate Rakesh had voices in his head wanting to rape him; he's outvoted.
- Tristan performs a freestyle rap written for Kill Tony Mania
- Tristan reveals he has webbed toes and shows them to panel
- Tristan joins panel after performance
Set: Ashton performs about girls mentioning beach walks, his mother drinking while pregnant, Grand Theft Auto, video game violence, and the need for female action movies.
Interview: Tony learns Ashton has appeared at both Kill Tony Mania shows, broke up with his girlfriend who found a contact named 'the girl who wouldn't do anything'.
- Girls say they like long beach walks but never ask guys with metal detectors.
- Mother drank while pregnant; face had sharpie dick drawn on it.
- Ashton appears twice at Kill Tony Mania, only person pulled both nights
Set: Dave performs about being cool when young, helping daughter with math homework and accidentally referencing drug dosages, then accidentally talking about selling drugs.
Interview: Tony learns Dave was a paramedic/rescue team member at UCSF, had a serious accident two years ago with partial deafness and shoulder replacement, swam from Alcatraz to shore with his daughter for recovery.
- Helping daughter with fractions; accidentally references drug weights and prices.
- Dave reveals he swam from Alcatraz to shore with his daughter for recovery
Set: Bridget performs a story about being stuck at an Oregon casino due to snow, a drunk woman thinking she's pregnant, and that woman's boyfriend intervening.
Interview: Tony and panel discuss Bridget appearing three nights in a row (Sacramento twice, San Francisco). She mentions loving garage sales, shooting guns, and driving intoxicated people.
- Drunk woman at casino thinks she's pregnant, punches her girlfriend.
- Bridget appears three consecutive nights at Kill Tony Mania events
Matt Watt
Set: Matt performs about dog breeds, weed smoking as a disguise for crying, MDMA addiction, and ecstasy tablets, revealing he's on antidepressants.
Interview: Matt reveals he was fired from Cobb's for punching wall after weed theft, now delivers for living, has two girlfriends both in audience, takes off glasses to get slapped by current girlfriend.
- People smoking weed can hide they've been crying all day long.
- Matt's current girlfriend comes on stage and slaps him for having two girlfriends
- Matt is fired from Cobb's after punching hole in wall over stolen weed
Set: John performs about how epilepsy is portrayed in movies, his seizures, and a friend's complaints about having to catch him when he seizes and urinates on himself.
Interview: Tony learns John won first-ever Kill Tony Mania golden ticket last year, is from Red Bluff, got dental work done, still has missing teeth, sorts trash at dump, found a sex doll at dump.
- Friend complains his seizures have to be so complicated and involve peeing.
- John was first man and only man to win golden ticket at Kill Tony Mania last year
- Push-up contest between John and William Montgomery on stage
Set: Andrew performs about his grandmother's death, bragging about penis size, DNA test results showing African American ancestry, and making the joke that size is 'nine and a half inches African American'.
Interview: Tony learns Andrew is headlining for first time, works at Cobb's comedy club since January, studies media history and film production with philosophy minor. Discussion about his claimed penis size and showing it to Jeremiah.
- Grandmother's obituary included his Twitter handle 'big dick DeLeo'.
- DNA test says I'm nine and a half inches African American.
- Andrew shows his pierced penis to Jeremiah and multiple people on stage
- Multiple people voluntarily show their genitals to Jeremiah on stage