Kill Tony #644 — Kirk Fox
Guests: Kirk Fox
Lineup
Set: Hans jokes about dryers for catching stepmoms, Ubers, Cybertrucks, and his girlfriend complimenting his personality despite his small dick.
Interview: Hans discusses buying a $150 pole to retrieve a $200 remote control airplane from a tree, crashing it multiple times, and his roommate's complaints about his kimchi.
- I have been putting dryers all throughout my neighborhood because I want to catch a stepmom
- I've been thinking about getting the new Cybertrucks to tell people my dick is small and I wax my balls
- Hans reveals he controls RC airplane from ground but crashes it into water, then crashes it again after retrieving it, investing in a 30-foot pole for a $200 airplane.
Set: Paul discusses buying Aderall from drug dealers that turned out to be crystal meth, having the worst year including getting hit by a drunk driver twice, and saving a woman from a train but letting all the guys get hit instead.
Interview: Paul reveals he's worked at Vulcan as door guy and barback, recently started as a PA on the show, and recently broke up with his girlfriend who moved out.
- Got Aderall from dealers that turned out to be crystal meth, worst year of my life
- Got hit by drunk driver twice, dad punched me in both eyes when I tried to kiss him on New Year's Eve
- I saved a woman from a train by pushing her out of the way and letting all those guys get hit instead
- Tony and Kirk try to play Everlong by Foo Fighters to make Paul emotional about his ex-girlfriend who just left him.
Set: Michael discusses coming from Corpus Christi, living on the streets for 5 years, police profiling due to wearing tall tees and do-rags, and his journey to living in a car then getting an apartment.
Interview: Michael reveals he's been a musician and battle rapper since age 13, only started stand-up 1.5 years ago, and now runs a spaghetti delivery service from his efficiency apartment making $140 a night.
- White privilege doesn't activate until Hayes County because there's not many black people for police to harass
- I lived in the streets for 5 years, describe myself as a Substitute Teacher for police harassment since I match description
- Michael performs an impromptu rap about his ADHD medication, controlling himself as a sober person in the club, despite being on Ritalin.
- Michael reveals he makes spaghetti with hamburger meat and magic, sells it from his car for $10 a plate plus $5 gas fee, making $140 a night.
Set: Kam describes his first surfing experience where he couldn't swim well, his gay surfing instructor's advances in the ocean, a beautiful sunset, and atheist fears.
Interview: Kam discusses learning to surf in Malibu, standing up on the board, the instructor's attraction, and recent shows in Florida with family and friends.
- I can swim very good for a black guy, can do a doggy paddle but y'all got me beat
- Scared with atheist in ocean who didn't believe in miracles during beautiful sunset moment
- Kam reveals he kissed his male surfing instructor while watching the sunset, indicating an unexpected romantic moment.
Set: Justin jokes about his wife's miniature collection, creating role-play scenarios with a Lone Ranger mask, comparing his wife's vagina to a Hamburglar, and hamburger anatomy humor.
Interview: Justin is a 46-year-old welder from Washington State who started comedy recently, hauls his 16-year-old son to bull rides, and has been married 17 years.
- Found Lone Ranger mask in wife's miniatures, planned role-play but her vagina looked like Hamburglar
- All vaginas look like hamburgers, some are double meat with lip lettuce
- Justin reveals he was a bull rider for 15 years and his 16-year-old son currently rides bulls in rodeos.
Set: Frank discusses trouble talking to pretty girls, visualizing women on the toilet, jokes about being a virgin and C-section birth blocking his entry.
Interview: Frank clarifies he's trans (MTF), 26 years old, makes income primarily from poker, and plays Dungeons & Dragons online as a druid.
- Uncle told me girls are just humans, now I picture women taking dumps on the toilet
- I'm a virgin, vaginas have long history of ducking me because I was a C-section
- Frank flounders during interview, reveals he works in poker not waiting tables, struggles to articulate his background and history.
Chen
Set: Chen discusses the 'gift of life' concept and how parents frame it as a debt owed, exploring the obligation and lack of choice in receiving this gift.
Interview: Chen reveals she's trans (MTF), 32 years old, plays D&D online as a druid, Magic the Gathering, and World of Warcraft, was previously married to an exchange student.
- The gift of life comes with a debt obligation from parents who mention it constantly
- D Madness returns to audience after being gone, visibly reacting to Chen's gender identity and commentary about her voice during sexual situations.
- Chen discusses HBomberguy YouTube channel explaining male vs female desirability scales and how this informed her understanding of gender.
Set: Sam jokes about his Indian ex-girlfriend, arranged marriage culture, dating as a recovering drug addict, difficulty with sober sex, and addiction to spin class.
Interview: Sam is a 30-year-old identical twin line cook, recovering addict (benzos, coke, alcohol), recently had a public intoxication and minor possession charge, now boxes.
- Ex from India, all clothes smell like her food, her family had first love marriage not arranged
- Dating sober is hard, took 2.5 hours to come and girl thought I had stamina but I don't love her
- Addicted to spin class not drugs, never stole from family to ride a bike going nowhere
- Tony pees during Sam's set due to the IV drips and has difficulty maintaining composure during the interview.
- Sam demonstrates boxing for Tony and the audience, showing extremely poor form and technique after only 3 weeks of training.
- Sam reveals he fist fought both his father (over being called a loser) and his twin brother (who knocked over Christmas tree), leading to boxing training.
Bill Rhodes
Set: Bill is a middle school teacher and former prison riot team commander who discusses parallels between inmates and students, complaints about cafeteria food, and hallway rules.
Interview: Bill teaches history in Hudo, Texas, has been doing stand-up for 2.5 months, started comedy to entertain seventh graders better, and has poor coordination.
- Worked in prison as riot team commander then became middle school teacher for something more dangerous
- Inmates and students complain about cafeteria food and hallway rules constantly
- Tony corrects Bill's pronunciation of 'parallel' multiple times, establishing that he's a history teacher, not a math or English teacher.