Kill Tony #83 — Justin Martindale, Benji Afflalo
Guests: Justin Martindale · Benji Afflalo
Lineup
Set: Political one-liners about deportations, ants, and Hillary Clinton's return to the office where her husband had an affair with an intern.
Interview: Tony questioned his commitment to political humor and suggested he develop longer bits on single topics rather than rapid-fire one-liners. Michael revealed he's been doing stand-up for 7 months and works in politics.
- Mexican restaurant closed, staff deported, inconvenient for him.
- Hillary 2016 awkward to report to desk where husband got oral sex from intern.
- Tony coaches Michael on avoiding school shooter appearance and developing political voice.
- Michael joked about shooting up a school politically motivated; Tony redirected him to develop real material.
Set: Material about women wanting to live in past time periods, particularly the 1950s and Middle Ages, with commentary on the romanticization of historical eras versus modern reality.
Interview: Cyrus discussed his background in Maryland, two years of comedy, his girlfriend who is a fetish model, and suggested he trim his set and develop more natural pacing.
- Women wanting to live in 1950s despite only two career options: secretary or housewife.
- Middle Ages fantasy vs. reality of dying from sniffles and being burned as witch.
- Panel discovers Cyrus dates a fetish model; extended discussion about her work and lifestyle.
- Benji jokes darkly about relationship with fetish model; Cyrus defends normalcy of relationship.
Set: Material about extreme poverty in New York, contrasting luxury dog hotel amenities ($79/night) with homelessness and her own struggles couch-surfing with minimal belongings.
Interview: Malia discussed moving from New York to LA after three years, her karaoke addiction (performing monthly), and panel members suggested tightening the joke structure and combining homeless/personal struggle narratives.
- Luxury dog hotel $79/night while homeless person sits outside; she couch-surfs with one change of underwear.
- Dog gets spa facials and pedicures while she eats dollar pizza; dog watches Fox and Hound.
- Josh Meyerowitz politically intervenes defending dogs over homeless people.
- Malia sings Cher's 'If I Could Turn Back Time' on stage during interview segment.
Set: Self-deprecating material about being mistaken for celebrities, developing confidence/big dick attitude for Hollywood, inappropriate sweater and stained sweatpants appearance, and background as landscaper/drug dealer.
Interview: Panel discussed Bud's thrift-store sweater, poor parents, construction/landscaping work, Disney Channel PA job, and suggested he avoid relying on dick-related humor and develop his actual personality.
- Gets mistaken for celebrity nobody in LA, people assume he's talentless dick poser.
- Has iPhone 6 sized penis; needs big dick attitude to make it in Hollywood.
- Panel extensively roasts Bud's sweater and sweatpants as resembling pedophile attire.
- Benji suggests Bud just accept he lacks intelligence and wear comfortable clothes.
Set: Absurdist material about being haunted by a dinosaur with blood on walk, T-Rex conundrum for Catholic Church regarding 6,000-year-old earth, and girls not making sense.
Interview: Ian revealed he was extremely high during set (smoke coming from mouth); panel praised his written material and creative premises. Discussed his previous on-stage assist helping other comedians.
- Woke up to T-Rex and blood on walk; house haunted by dinosaur.
- Dinosaur haunting creates conundrum for Catholic Church; earth is 6,000 years old.
- Ian performs set while visibly high with smoke coming from mouth; still delivers strong material.
- Panel compares Ian's demeanor to riding Falkor; Justin makes David Bowie corpse comparison.
- Ian references assisting another comedian last week by suggesting living situation question.
Set: Material about birth control side effects (nausea, increased libido), Puerto Rican mother's flip-flop hitting abilities, unpreparedness for motherhood, and fear of casual pregnancy.
Interview: Panel discussed cum inside experiences, birth control usage, Puerto Rican/Moroccan cultural practices (face slapping at first period), and awkward moment where Josh Meyerowitz expressed interest in oral sex with Kim.
- Birth control increases libido but causes nausea; thanks for letting guy not come inside.
- Puerto Rican moms have flip-flop superpower to hit face from anywhere.
- Never cleaned someone's face with spit; not ready for motherhood; Puerto Rican pregnancy risk.
- Extensive panel discussion about cum inside, pulling out, and bodily functions.
- Benji discusses Moroccan cultural practice of mother slapping daughter at first period.
- Josh Meyerowitz asked which body part he'd kiss; awkwardly expressed interest in oral sex.
Set: Material about patio furniture as status symbol of wealth, poor people using indoor furniture outside, taking indoor furniture to patios, and smell/deterioration of exterior furniture and cushions.
Interview: Sara discussed her long interest in patio furniture material, experiences buying furniture at Target sales, college memories of outdoor furniture, and panel suggested connecting umbrella issues to the bit.
- Only wealthy enough to buy patio furniture for all weather types.
- Poor people take indoor furniture outside; she remembers doing it in college.
- Patio umbrellas only cover table width, not people sitting at table.
- Panel discusses indoor/outdoor furniture usage across childhood and college experiences.
- Justin mentions he's going to nap outside after show, connecting to patio furniture discussion.