Jessie Johnson
Jessie Johnson has performed on Kill Tony 10 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
Jessie performs about South by Southwest festival, makes Epstein island jokes comparing celebrity attendees, references Marcy's Playground, Joe Biden, and timeshare sales.
- South by brings famous people like Epstein island lineup comparison
- Marcy's Playground and one-hit wonder Sex and Candy
Material about parents worried she does cocaine, bathroom cocaine jokes, narcissists, smoking cocaine instead.
- Every time she does cocaine thinks 'last time,' never stops.
- Prefers smoking cocaine instead of bathroom use.
Jessie did a set about Eddie Murphy having ten kids and stretching his dick out like a gauged ear, with edgy tags about his ex-wife.
- Eddie Murphy has ten kids, so his dick is stretched out like gauged ears
- Her long hair has been around longer than the War on Terror
Set about having cool dad, cat's in the cradle song reference, father-son relationship mirroring song's absent father dynamic, emotional commentary on paternal absence.
- Song 'Cat's in the Cradle' about absent dad; her relationship just first half
- Called dad from college, he said call back, he never called back
Jessie performed a solid one-minute set about working three jobs despite having no kids, getting out of a toxic five-year relationship with a ska band lead singer, and recently opening for Big Fish.
- Working three jobs without kids is bullshit; toxic relationship with ska band guy.
- Got revenge on ska band ex by saying 'not interested' in his language.
Jessie's set about children of divorce blaming themselves, but she blames her sister. Her father is a rocket scientist, her sister studied astrophysics, and Jessie does comedy because why study stars when you can be one. Bit about her two moms not liking each other.
- Blamed her sister for parents' divorce instead of blaming herself
- Father is rocket scientist, sister studies astrophysics, she does comedy instead
No set recap for this appearance.
Jessie talked about switching from cigarettes to nicotine lozenges which suck because you have to suck on them for 30 minutes. She made sexual innuendo about sucking and references Harvey Weinstein, discussed mediocre sex with herself, and mentioned having a personal assistant job.
- Switched to nicotine lozenges but I like sucking something that long, maybe Harvey Weinstein
- What am I supposed to say after mediocre sex, I need a lozenge
Jessie discusses living in LA for 3 months, trying to have quiet sex with a roommate by making ocean sounds instead of normal sounds; irony of living in LA but can't get to ocean without getting wet.
- Changed sex noises to ocean sounds to avoid roommate hearing, irony of LA ocean access
Jessie discusses divorced parents letting her choose which house to visit for holidays. Makes joke about preferring when courts decided. Discusses not believing in God but parents keep praying.
- Parents let her choose holiday house after divorce; preferred court deciding
- Tells parents she doesn't believe in God; they pray harder for her