Kill Tony Greg Fitzsimmons, Matt Braunger
Guests: Greg Fitzsimmons · Matt Braunger
Lineup
Set: Southern accent comedy about stereotypes, oil rig work in North Dakota, and coworkers with extra chromosomes. Material plays heavily on his accent making mundane statements funny.
Interview: Tony tests if anything sounds funny with his accent, has him recite pledge of allegiance and Godfather lines. Discussion of LA vs Mississippi, truck nuts, hunting, and guns.
- Southerners stereotyped as stupid but maybe they should be stereotyped as smart or well-endowed.
- Coworker on oil rig smoked meth for 6 years, visible extra chromosomes, dad saved him in El Camino.
- Tony has Eric recite Pledge of Allegiance with southern accent, makes it sound like he's confessing to hiding Jewish girls.
- Discussion of truck nuts leads to idea for car vaginas or boobs as promotional product.
Set: Explicit sexual humor about masturbation after 8-day break, zooming in on penis makes him think he's gay, references to his small penis and thick pubic hair.
Interview: Panel roasts his appearance, comparing him to various people and characters. Discussion of his hair, clothes, tattoos, and Twitter handle. Greg suspects he's not being authentic.
- After 8-day break from jerking off, zoom-in on penis makes him think he's gay.
- Greg accuses Michael of being inauthentic, comparing him to Larry the Cable Guy, suggesting his southern persona is an act.
- Panel discusses his physical appearance extensively, mentioning fake teeth, glasses, thick pubic hair, and comparing him to various characters.
Set: Scattered observational humor about bus fare, missing Tupac, girlfriend named Ruth becoming 'ruthless', and request to be booked. Set interrupted multiple times.
Interview: Kenny identifies as Guatemalan. Panel roasts his appearance, nipple placement, and body. Discussion of comedy shows, South Central LA where he lives, and his brothers' past abuse.
- Bought five quarters but bus machine only had four, kept walking.
- Lost girlfriend Ruth, now he's ruthless. Reference to Tupac.
- Two brothers molested him, promised gameboy but never delivered.
- Pat Reagan publicly calls out Kenny for posting hateful Facebook message saying 'Pat Reagan f*** you' and reporting him to authorities.
- Kenny gets his dreadlock hair cut on stage while performing, done by Pete Cornett from PDC.
- Panel extensively discusses Kenny's unusual body proportions, particularly his low nipples relative to his bellybutton.
Set: Self-aware comedy about privilege preventing him from commenting on controversial topics like Ferguson. Material about boat shoes, inability to have opinions on race, and vague platitudes.
Interview: Discussion of shower sharing story, chlorine and olive oil hair care, admission he sucked his own penis at age 15. Panel probes extensively about flexibility and sexual capabilities.
- Too privileged to comment on controversial topics like Ferguson with boat shoes.
- Matthew admits on air he sucked his own penis once at age 15 in guest bathroom of Cape Cod house.
- Panel gets Matthew to demonstrate or discuss his flexibility in detail, asking about positions, duration, and sensations.
- Panel makes callbacks to earlier performers, comparing Matthew's abilities to Byron Bowers' endowment.
Set: Material about performing oral sex with braces, being girls' first Asian guy, references to United Nations and China dick jokes. Heavy sexual content.
Interview: Discussion of getting braces late in life as an actor/for OCD. Mention of racing cars in Texas. Panel suggests focusing on racecar material instead of braces jokes.
- Crushing even with braces, going downtown shaved to avoid pubic hair stuck in braces.
- Been many girls' first Asian guy, feels like ambassador spreading Asian dick to world.
- Greg coaches Alex to focus on racecar material instead of braces jokes that will become dated in two weeks.
Set: Self-deprecating material about trust issues, accusing boyfriends of cheating when she has no boyfriend, observational humor about voodoo and hair playing.
Interview: Panel provides coaching on joke structure, suggesting she avoid resetting with new jokes and instead tag existing material. Discussion of keeping setup/punchlines instead of long stories.
- Thought 'friends with benefits' meant 401k.
- Has trust issues, accuses boyfriend of cheating despite not having one.
- Guy plays with her hair cute, she does it back and it's voodoo.
- Matt Braunger coaches Kim on joke structure, noting she resets every joke instead of tagging and flowing together.
Set: Material about seeing father use shoehorn, wondering why we still use medieval tool, research into shoehorns as first-class levers.
Interview: Panel discusses whether shoehorns make noise, argues about Horn of Africa geography, jokes about bra horns and camel toes.
- If you need shoehorn, just buy bigger shoes instead of using medieval tool.
- Shoehorns are first-class levers and only horn that doesn't make sound.
- Shoehorns from Middle Ages but we stopped churning butter, why keep shoehorns?
- Panel gets into debate about whether Horn of Africa is real geographical feature, Brian Redman fact-checks on Siri.
- Sara and panel discuss using horns for other articles of clothing like bra horns or car vaginas.