Kill Tony #510 — Alex Jones
Guests: Alex Jones
Lineup
Set: Political and observational humor touching on Hunter Biden, Pearl Harbor comparisons, and Joe Biden's family struggles. Set was disrupted by lighting changes during performance.
Interview: Discussed his recent sobriety (two weeks), coffee addiction, discovering Austin's costume shops, and his weekend at Lake Travis. William joked about breaking sobriety then clarified he was joking.
- Hunter Biden teaching fake news course at Tulane, would be better as future news with arrest prediction.
- Pearl Harbor movie worse than actual Pearl Harbor event; imagining 9/11 romantic comedy.
- Joe Biden identifies with Black people, mentions his son is a crack addict.
- Lighting technician kept adjusting lights during William's set, causing multiple interruptions and complaints from Tony.
- William disclosed breaking two weeks of sobriety on Saturday, then clarified he was joking.
Set: School teacher making jokes about student interactions, dental hygiene from eating salad, and vegan lifestyle. Set includes self-deprecating Kimbo Slice comparison.
Interview: Discussed teaching English, summer vacation starting, smoking pot regularly, commanding stage presence, and his muscular build. Tony praised his macho energy.
- Student asked about hand washing, Charles realized his own breath smelled after not washing.
- Hygienist asked if he'd been tossing salad after vegan diet attempt.
- Charles flexed his pecs and did a chest twerk on stage, making the audience uncomfortable.
- Charles pulled out condom and discussed never pulling out, surprising interview turn.
Set: Jokes about being a virgin at 24, sexuality confusion, oatmeal recipes, and Spider-Man references. Set includes self-deprecating descriptions of masculinity and attractiveness.
Interview: Four years comedy experience, moved from LA to Austin, never been on date, never kissed girl. Participated in 'Kiss Me JP' segment and received lap dance from Red Rose/Yellow Rose dancers.
- Nobody believes he's a virgin, describes self like person with oatmeal recipes bookmarked.
- Unsure about sexuality, at 24 has lived through three Spider-Man 2 films, not super young.
- Father is old, just turned 50, unsure why he had to have kids.
- Tony initiated 'Kiss Me JP' segment where audience member gave JP his first kiss.
- Red Rose/Yellow Rose dancers provided JP's first lap dance, causing visible physical response.
- Tony and panel explored contents of JP's fanny pack including weed, vape pen, phone, wallet.
Set: Jokes about dating, exes' pets' hygiene, and comparing women to xenomorphs. Set includes discussion of Dumpster Lid-smelling dog and pH levels.
Interview: Door guy at comedy clubs, didn't expect to be pulled, discussed jaded feeling from watching others perform. Later participated in foot-smelling segment with audience member Hayley.
- Broke up with girlfriend because her dog smelled like a Dumpster lid.
- Girl's vaginal pH so high, resembled xenomorph from Alien.
- David smelled audience member Hayley's feet on stage, finding them clean and disappointing.
- Tony and panel encouraged finding girl with smelly feet for David to smell.
Set: First-time comedian (2.5 weeks) making Catholic religion jokes about loopholes, edibles effects, and lost edibles in dryer. Controversial callout of all-white panel.
Interview: Peruvian heritage, works for VMware, does woodworking and YouTube content, got drunk at brunch, made out with someone at open mic, math athlete with geology degree.
- Catholicism has loopholes, can say sorry before getting raped or dying.
- Edibles stronger than expected, left in dryer pants, ruined dryer.
- Almost died playing Pokemon Go drunk, peed himself and passed out on ground.
- Arturo called out all-white panel, Tony pushed back on controversial opener for first-timer.
- Tony criticized Arturo for criticizing show that gave him platform, asked him to focus on being funny.
Set: Political and cultural comedy about being Asian southerner from South Korea, shooting commies, K-pop, General Tso's chicken, Rush Hour 3, and Black Panther replacing historical figures.
Interview: Eight-year comedy veteran in Austin, appeared on previous Kill Tony episodes including singing national anthem, gained new regular position on the show.
- Only two things like: shooting commies and K-pop, real southerner credentials.
- Asian friends mock him for eating General Tso's chicken as Americanized version.
- Black Panther gave Black children hero instead of MLK, Malcolm X, Harriet Tubman, etc.
- Tony offered Hans Kim position as fourth/new regular on Kill Tony after strong performance.
- Hans accepted regular position, compared to being third wheel on rickshaw.
Set: Self-deprecating humor about looking like racist middle schooler, gay dream about vaping, morgue worker deadpan joke, Mediterranean food, and Boy Scouts pedophile epidemic.
Interview: Delivers groceries for HEB (middle class customers), two and a half years comedy experience, from Riverside (near river), very white suburban. Revealed unusual sexual dysfunction: cannot orgasm during sex with women.
- Looks like racist middle schooler, had gay dream about mom not letting him vape.
- Talked to morgue worker about necrophilia, he said 'deadass'.
- 3000+ sexual predators in Boy Scouts, they earned predator ID badge and kiss on lips.
- Riley revealed he cannot orgasm during sex with women, only through masturbation, sparking 15-minute investigation.
- D Madness got so frustrated by Riley's sexual dysfunction that he stood up and took a stand.
- Panel theorized wet vagina as cause, discussed drying techniques, suggested Red Rose stripper help.
- Tony made callback to Pangdang's dry comedy set in comparison.
Set: Political and social commentary about choosing gender identity, Fallon Fox transgender MMA fighter, need to date before beating women, and transgender athletes in women's sports.
Interview: Moved from NYC to Austin three months ago, noticed lack of female comedians, boyfriend is photographer (Jalen Takes Photos), bowl for fun, prefers women sexually, appeared on Death Squad show.
- Good childhood indicators: silly things like picking gender identity.
- Fallon Fox transgender MMA fighter: used to be man, now woman beats women.
- If want to beat up woman, have to date her first.
- Tony and Leonarda discussed dating Red Band for 20 years with three children.
- Leonarda appeared on Death Squad secret show Thursday at Vulcan.
Set: Observational humor about yogurt texture causing gag reflex, fishing/female orgasm comparison, small boob preference and age-related sagging concerns, spin the bottle desire.
Interview: 22-year-old one-month comedian moved to Austin from New Hampshire, server at North Italia, plays guitar (Blackbird, Dust in the Wind), German/French heritage. Shared traumatic story of eighth-grade girlfriend killed by drunk driver.
- Yogurt used to make gag from spoon going too far back in mouth.
- Female orgasm like fishing, both elusive but water won't lie like women do.
- Prefers small boobs, worried double-D's become W's as women age.
- Nathaniel disclosed eighth-grade girlfriend killed by drunk driver hitting her on sidewalk.
- Tony and Red Band laughed inappropriately about girlfriend's death, continued dark humor.
- D Madness joked he was driving car that killed girlfriend, Tony confirmed it was the joke.
- Nathaniel played guitar performing Kansas' 'Dust in the Wind' on stage.
Set: Character-based nursery rhyme parody set as Injured Dice Clay performing dark comedy versions of classic children's stories with illness/medical themes.
Interview: Two and a half minutes of character comedy from disabled comedian Michael Lehrer. Discussed Medicaid covering five races of cocaine, nurse offering $200 to not drink.
- Humpty Dumpty with expired insurance, wife now for hire as prostitute.
- Jack and Jill with health complications preventing hill climb.
- Old lady in shoe uses political discourse to prevent relocation.
- Michael performed nearly three minutes of character-based dark nursery rhyme parodies.
- Michael performs regularly with serious illness, shows dedication to craft despite condition.