Kill Tony #527 — Jamar Neighbors, Brian Moses
Guests: Jamar Neighbors · Brian Moses
Lineup
Set: Han jokes about living in a van to pursue comedy, difficulty dating after Gabby Petito, jerking off in vans with hazard lights flashing, and sexual tension.
Interview: Hans discusses his new girlfriend Paige, a homeless woman who came on stage; they sleep in the van together in a back-to-back spooning position; Hans explains his recent sexual conquests and strippers at the Yellow Rose.
- Living in van makes dating hard after Gabby Petito murder case
- Jerking off in van causes hazard lights to flash, signaling activity
- Roof leaking in van similar to phone drying in rice bowl
- Hans's girlfriend Paige comes on stage with broken finger; various riffs about her being homeless and dating Hans
- Discussion of Hans's recent sexual encounters; panel members riff about his homeless girlfriend
Set: Monford jokes about chasing dreams but potentially ending up with children from big booty Latinas, racial preferences in sexual partners, and seasoning differences between races.
Interview: Monford reveals preference for Black girls and big booty Latinas found at 7-Elevens; Tony and Jamar facetime Jamar's auntie Shannon at an NFL game; Monford makes crude sexual comments; later shows off his dancing skills.
- Moved to Austin to pursue comedy but keeps impregnating big booty Latinas
- Black girls taste better than white girls due to seasoning
- Jamar facetimes his auntie Shannon at an NFL game; Monford makes crude sexual comments about her
- Monford reveals he can dance and shows off edm-style dancing on stage
Set: Jesse jokes about missing Dick Cheney's dangerous approach to politics, comparing modern politicians unfavorably to past ones in a dark hunting metaphor.
Interview: Jesse is a first-time comic from Santa Barbara wearing fake blonde hair and a hat; claims her grandfather was Quick Draw McGraw; worked as stockbroker, caused 2008 financial crisis, drives white van, has white van Prius, sings country.
- Dick Cheney safer than modern politicians, hunted but didn't accidentally shoot
- Jesse performs a country song on stage; Tony and panel are surprised by her vocal ability
- Jesse makes bizarre claims about being a stockbroker, causing 2008 crisis, suing over California fires; appears mentally unstable or performing elaborate character
- Jesse discusses being date raped multiple times; Tony questions accuracy of her stories
Ben Horn
Set: Ben jokes about beating his roommate while blackout drunk (describing it as CPS taking her), looking like someone who would do bad things to women, and criticizing six-week abortion restrictions.
Interview: Ben is returning regular who works at HEB as personal shopper; has a distinctive pink mustache he's been growing since lockdown; lives downtown in rough area near gas station with constant crime and dice games.
- Blackout drunk, beat roommate; told people CPS took her instead
- Six weeks not enough time for women to know they had sex
- Ben's distinctive pink mustache becomes focal point of jokes from panel; described as resembling Steve Bannon, Civil War reenactor
- Ben discusses living downtown in rough area with constant crime, dice games in chip aisles, casual theft at nearby gas station
Set: Sam jokes about chub rub when running, penis getting stuck between thighs causing accidental masturbation, inability to run due to always coming, and high school football coach.
Interview: Sam recently moved from Connecticut to Austin; unemployed former car dealership assistant manager; Irish drinker interested in live music and getting intoxicated; met drinkers on tour who listen to Kill Tony; demonstrates impressive hip-shaking dance moves.
- Thigh rub during running traps penis, causes bluetooth masturbation walking
- Running makes him orgasm, ruining fitness; coach thought he was lazy
- Sam demonstrates impressive hip-shaking dance moves on stage while music plays; compared to Hannah Gaspi; panel impressed by rhythm and skill
- Tony compares Sam's appearance to kid from Up, suggests he was locked in walk-in cooler since fifth grade
- Tony and panel set up weight loss challenge for Sam and Trey Pack to return next week
Set: Zachariah jokes about having Tourette syndrome and difficult jobs he tried: 911 operator, Walmart announcer, IHOP where syndrome caused pancake-flipping mistakes.
Interview: Zachariah is returning performer with Tourette syndrome; performs full-time, booked around McAllen area and South Padre Island; performs at comedy festivals; lives in San Antonio with girlfriend of four years; has second rarest form with physical and verbal tics.
- Tried to be 911 operator with Tourette syndrome, didn't get job
- Worked IHOP week; Tourette syndrome looked like pancake-flipping gone wrong
- Zachariah demonstrates his involuntary tic (fart-like noise) on stage multiple times during set and interview
- Discussion of Tourette syndrome, Tony compares it to sneezing, Zachariah explains rare form and tics changing over time
Set: Jordan jokes about not dating white women because he talks too much shit, compares Drake to the McRib (periodic release), relates to Drake through absent fathers and present mothers.
Interview: Jordan performs on show second time; last time mentioned living on Black Angus cattle ranch; car broken into and joke book stolen; has white mother, raised in racist town Sherman Texas, called n-word in third grade; identifies as light-skinned Black.
- Doesn't date white women; can't talk about other women in front of them
- Drake like McRib: periodic releases get hype, then quality questioned
- Tony brings up audience member Jared to dance with Jordan for comparison; both are large men; extended crowd work about their appearance
- Discussion of Jordan being called n-word in third grade lunch room; panel compares Jordan's appearance to Eric Andre and other celebrities
Set: Trey jokes about his name being his serving size, real first name is Cafeteria (family name), catfishing on Tinder with height, and requiring square footage in dating profiles.
Interview: Trey moved from Knoxville Tennessee three months ago; was bouncer doing bar security; currently unemployed; had sex yesterday after meeting girl on 6th Street; mother lost significant weight, father average size; loves Austin food.
- Mom named him Trey after his serving size; real name Cafeteria
- Catfishing easier by giving weight in kg and dick size in cm
- Tony compares Trey and Sam Hunter as comedy duo; notes they look alike and are both large; sets up weight loss challenge for them to return next week
- Panel discusses potential scale weigh-in next week; Trey says he weighs 450, Sam says 330; Tony sets up competition with prizes
Set: William performs new minute about grandfather emailing from heaven with good wifi, blaming Facebook for Trump election (agrees with comparison to heavy metal/school shootings), Barbie from Arkansas marrying Ken, Austin police not responding to petty crimes, stealing jokes.
Interview: William recently got too high before set; discusses raisin bread addiction (3.5 loaves per week) and making personal supreme pizzas; claims to see shadow people/ghosts in apartment and shower; convinced apartment is haunted by shadow entities.
- Grandfather emails from heaven with excellent wifi connection
- Blaming Facebook for Trump is like blaming metal for school shootings
- Barbie from Arkansas married Ken because he's kinfolk
- William admits he got too high before performing; self-critiques his set quality and jokes
- Extensive discussion of William's belief in shadow people ghosts in apartment; panel questions if he's describing people literally or metaphorically; potential racial misunderstanding of 'shadow people' term
- Panel jokes about William looking like rapist or racist; William uncomfortable with line of questioning
Interview: Jamar sits on panel throughout episode; participates in crowd work, riffs on comedians; facetimed by Monford to his auntie Shannon at NFL game; makes jokes about slavery apologies throughout episode; provides comedic commentary on performers.
- Multiple comedians ask Jamar to apologize for slavery on behalf of all white men; Jamar facetimes his auntie Shannon at NFL game
Interview: Brian sits on panel throughout episode; described as creator and host of Roast Battle; participates in riffing on comedians; mentioned as having 'boogers' from Austin allergies; provides comedic commentary on performers.