Kill Tony #531 — Kim Congdon, Sara Weinshenk
Guests: Kim Congdon · Sara Weinshenk
Lineup
Miles Riley Martin Hooch Owens
Set: Set about being an Italian-American stripper from New Jersey trying to become a comedian before her knees give out; jokes about high school friends being engaged.
Interview: Confirmed she's a stripper; discussed losing social security card; claimed she gave DMX a lap dance two weeks before he died.
- Mother said she's selling her soul; she corrected her about what she's actually selling.
- Dates are confused when she tells them she's a stripper trying to become comedian before knees give out.
- Cody (yellow rose/red rose manager) brought on stage; refuses to hire her, requiring three forms of ID.
- Claims she gave DMX a lap dance two weeks before he died; he was kicked out after exposing himself.
Set: First-time stand-up about encountering a man on 6th Street offering his sister for a hookup; statistics on incest; delivery was nervous and unclear.
Interview: Just got LASIK; works in marketing; from New Jersey; has a stuffed bobcat named Hunter; likely on autism spectrum; pretended to be Marine in community college.
- Stranger on 6th Street offered his sister saying she's 'dtf' and goes all the way.
- 10-15% of people have hooked up with relatives; claims confidence but delivers poorly.
- First-time comedian visibly shaking with nerves; panel expresses concern about his mental state.
- Just got LASIK; pretended to be Marine for semester; possibly on autism spectrum.
Set: Tight minute about grandparents being Holocaust survivors who were in Korea during Japanese occupation instead; dating without social safety net; bernie sanders joke.
Interview: Regular kill tony performer; discussed Instagram Live followers; on-and-off relationship with Paige; got arrested for shoplifting computer mouse and bowls in college.
- Grandparents are Holocaust survivors but were in Korea during Japanese occupation the whole time.
- Tough to date without social safety net; women looking for Bernie Sanders not orgasm.
- Panel attempts to get volunteer woman to kiss Hans on stage; no one volunteers, then random man stands up.
- Hans reveals he got arrested for shoplifting mouse, bowls, and other items during college.
Set: High-energy set about getting turnt up and missing his Narcotics Anonymous meeting; using one nostril for cocaine; missing drug dealer; Ellen Page transition joke.
Interview: Previously appeared on show; delivers HEB pharmacy; lived in car in LA during pandemic; got his car window smashed by homeless man with golf club.
- Using only one nostril for cocaine creates half brain doing business deals, half killing vibe.
- Drug dealer told him ecstasy would 'put the tits back on Ellen Page'; Pedro took it.
- Discusses living in car during pandemic in LA and being called homeless by actual homeless man with golf club.
Set: Keeps mask on as solution to British dentistry; comments on accent differences; jokes about American wife and anchor baby; complaints about wire hangers.
Interview: Professional hacker; formerly with British forces; from McGregor area; married to American for citizenship; jokes about British women's body hair; performs as rhythm & blues/soul singer.
- Keeping mask on because it's the solution to British dentistry problems.
- Wife is American and has anchor baby for citizenship purposes.
- Jimi Hendrix died in London from choking on British woman due to hairiness.
- British John performs Soul Man song live with the band in a surprising musical moment.
- Reveals he's a professional hacker and made jokes about accessing people's browser histories.
Set: Stories about childhood nickname 'Deep Throat' from fast eating; word power and connotations; London's 'Spotted Dick' dish; basketball and dating commentary.
Interview: From San Antonio; moved to Austin after breaking up with girlfriend of 4 years who's now married with baby; works as Lyft driver; interested in Puerto Rican women.
- Mother called him 'Deep Throat' because he ate and drank food really fast as a kid.
- In London, 'Spotted Dick' is a dish; in America it's a problem with sexual connotations.
- Kim Congdon offers to have Ellis open for her and Sara at the Creek in the Cave show.
- Ellis reveals he had a dream where he met Tony at a Walmart and told him about Kill Tony.
- Tony invites Ellis to hang out Wednesday and potentially the secret show Thursday.
Set: Vietnamese immigrant stories: can't pronounce English letters; ding dong ditch variation; garage sale wind chime vs. neighbor's middle wing chai; seagulls at beach as tasty.
Interview: Returning performer on show two weeks in a row; visited Texas restaurants; wearing ten dollar dress; performed 'Everything Costing Less in US' parody song.
- Can't pronounce certain English letters but can tell you which ones she can't pronounce.
- Playing ding dong ditch as kids: they didn't have double, just ditched their friend.
- Seagulls at beach are annoying but tasty; eats them at picnics.
- Nicole performs parody song 'Everything Costing Less in US' with repeated 'bang bang bang' and references to pricing.
- Panel references her age in jokes; she wears loose flower dress to cover muffin top.
Set: First-time comedian discussing abortion with perspective story about 16-year-old girl in West Virginia with drug addiction; advocates for abortion as solution.
Interview: From Michigan; moved to oil fields in San Angelo three years ago with GED; father was preacher in prison for selling guns; exercises to avoid drugs.
- Girl in trailer park addicted to fentanyl being raped; world doesn't need more messed up truck drivers.
- Panel gives Tyler impromptu geography and math trivia game; he struggles with basic questions.
- Tyler can't name all continents; takes him many minutes to get to Europe, finally succeeds for $100.
- Tony gives Tyler $100 cash and big joke book for eventually naming all continents.
Set: Tight minute about Wes Anderson films and deleted scenes; wants to be in one despite being casually racist; discusses Lost airplane never being found.
Interview: Regular/headliner; gambling on Wes Anderson knowledge didn't work; clarified Vegas pronunciation; ate Chick-fil-A before show; fruit fly in face distraction.
- Wes Anderson makes films from deleted scenes; wants to be in one by being casually racist.
- Adrian Brody's salary joke miscalculation; nervous recovery about not understanding Wes Anderson references.
- William's Wes Anderson bit doesn't land because audience doesn't know the director; he acknowledges it was a bad choice.
- Fruit fly flies into William's face during set, distracting him mid-performance.