Kill Tony #619 — Ari Shaffir
Guests: Ari Shaffir
Lineup
Set: Joke-heavy set about billionaires, wealthy people, and Andrew Tate in Romania. Strong premise-driven comedy without much storytelling.
Interview: Tony reveals Hans wasn't challenged this week as an experiment. Hans admits his set wouldn't have been as good without competition. Discussion about his girlfriend having Tourette's syndrome.
- Ocean Gate made a bad submarine to disrupt the billionaire space
- Moving to country known for certain crimes (Japan/upskirts, America/mass shootings)
- Tony reveals Hans wasn't being challenged this week to test if he'd be lazy without competition
- Hans makes explicit sexual sound his girlfriend makes during arguments, crowd reacts with shock
Solomon
Set: Short 41-second set about workplace incident with angry Mexican dishwasher named Speedy Gonzalez. Punched through joke but seemed to lose track of premise.
Interview: Solomon discusses being Pakistani, working as a dishwasher, developing feelings for female manager who turned out to be lesbian. Extended interview with sexual content.
- Called coworker Speedy Gonzalez, got called racist, had to quit job
- Solomon only does 41 seconds and appears confused about punchlines
- Ari makes multiple harsh jokes about Solomon's appearance and ethnicity
- Tony and panel make crude sexual jokes with Solomon about competing with vibrators
Set: Strong premise-driven set about Confederate statues being removed but not the horse. Good angles about horses not being racist and KKK putting hoods on horses.
Interview: 9 years in Chicago, 2 in Georgia. Works as locksmith/welder. Recently divorced from German woman. Participates in Mexican drum-off challenge and wins.
- Robert E Lee statue torn down but horse did nothing wrong
- Can't train horse to be racist no matter how many carrots
- KKK put hoods on horses so no one would recognize them
- Brandon wins Mexican drum-off against professional drummer Michael Gonzalez
- Tony offers Brandon a guest spot at the Chicago Theater
Set: Energetic set about high school sports and teammate coming out as gay. Questions whether the butt-slapping was a gay thing or basketball thing.
Interview: Newest regular with 100% win record. From Orlando, 2 years of stand-up. Hired as door guy at the club. Discusses family reunion and new 'biter' relative. Brings uncle David Jolly on stage.
- Teammate slaps ass during games, asks if that was gay or basketball
- Becomes newest Kill Tony regular after one appearance with 100% crowd vote
- Brings uncle David Jolly to stage by knocking loudly on back door
- Extended interview with high energy and sexual content discussion
Set: Set about donating plasma at CSL Plasma Center for $40, finding out about $500 bonus, joking about legal marijuana card and sperm donation child support fears.
Interview: Uncle/mentor to Kam Patterson. 7 years stand-up experience. From Atlanta area. Discusses teaching Kam comedy, relationships with white women, selling sexual favors for money.
- CSL Plasma: saving lives for $40, just call it what it is
- Scared to donate sperm because might end up on child support
- Cam Patterson had orchestrated uncle's appearance, creates viral moment with high energy
- Extended crude interview about selling sexual favors to white women for money
- Announces moving to Austin 6th Street after show success
Set: Set comparing girls chugging beer to guys rolling blunts. Jokes about how guys show off drug preparation at parties while girls display drinking skills.
Interview: From Illinois, just over 1 year stand-up. Moved to Austin end of October. Former college wrestler at University of Illinois. COVID kicked off wrestling team for missing test after vaccine.
- Girls chugging beer like guys rolling blunts, showing off at parties
- Describes homeless man's threatening behavior in parking lot as his craziest life moment
- Tony makes Deliverance reference about Illinois upbringing
Set: First Jiu Jitsu class anecdotes about getting choked with balls in face in locker room, before even putting gi on. Bill Cosby joke closing.
Interview: Been on show before. 5 years stand-up, from Buffalo. Moved to Austin 7 months. Door guy at Outlaw Comedy. 30-year-old dating 50-year-old woman for 5 months met on Instagram.
- Jiu Jitsu instructor choked him in locker room before class with balls in face
- Bill Cosby jokes if audience doesn't like them they can drink more
- Tony discovers Zac's real name is Zachary Blackery not Zac Black, catches him in lie
- Wallet found with real ID, proven false stage name claim
Set: No stand-up set. Sang approximately 30 seconds of 'Fly Me to the Moon' instead of delivering comedy.
Interview: Actually Swiggy's mother. Worked in real estate as office manager. Was substitute teacher. Discussed bedroom activities vaguely. Claimed to have had sex in Corvette.
- Performs song instead of stand-up set, completely wrong approach to show
- Tony struggles to get interesting content, subject is boring and reluctant
Set: First-ever stand-up set. Jokes about picking up guys, getting liposuction for breast augmentation, depression before surgery, lethal tattoo of grandmother on breasts.
Interview: From Nashville Tennessee. First time performing stand-up. Songwriter on tour. Performed original song 'Drug in Tennessee' with band. Got roasted about her knees multiple times.
- Picked up guy claiming to be gynecologist because her pussy was sick
- Got stripper tattoo of grandmother on breasts after liposuction/augmentation surgery
- First-time comedian gets offered opening slot at Tony's Chicago Theater show
- Gets extensively roasted about her knees by Tony and Ari
- Performs original song 'Drug in Tennessee' live with band
Set: Meta-jokes about table of contents in books, Schindler's List being too long (dark joke about 7 million people), one-armed rock climber observation. Strong regular performance.
Interview: Kill Tony regular with most appearances ever. Recently had skin cancer removed from neck. Created new Etsy shop 'Penises by William' selling silicone penis molds ($75-80). Shows custom mold and discusses process.
- Authors listing dedications instead of getting to good content
- Schindler's List too long, could have been 7 million people long
- One-armed girl walked out gym, wondered about Red Band's excuse
- William exposes penis mold he made from cousin Robert's mold
- Ari Shaffir sucks William's penis mold on stage
- Reveals cancer diagnosis and removal from neck last Wednesday
- William offered booking at Control Club in Bucharest Romania by European promoter
Ari Shaffir
Interview: Main guest for episode. Legend of comedy, recently released 'Jew' special on YouTube with millions of views. Discusses past appearances with Shane and Mark. Interacts with all bucket pull performers throughout show.
- Ari was previously on show with Shane Gillis and Mark Normand, calls them out
- Ari participates in multiple crowd interactions and roasts throughout show
- William Montgomery places penis mold in Ari's mouth on stage