David Jolly
David Jolly has performed on Kill Tony 12 times. Every appearance below, with set summaries and timestamps.
Appearances
No set recap for this appearance.
David discussed midlife crises, streaming trends, and crackheads on 10-speed bicycles moving washers and dryers. He contrasted crackheads' strength with meth heads living with their mothers.
- Crackheads streaming drug activities would be better entertainment than old people streaming
- Crackheads moving washers and dryers on 10-speed bicycles demonstrates superhuman strength
Golden Ticket competition contestant #2. Nostalgia for 'old days' when men could punch wives, no social media. Imagines child abuse livestreamed on Facebook with grandmother's breasts visible. Every year without social media we also didn't have child abuse.
- Old days: men could punch wives at home; no social media = no child abuse
Jolly discussed his experience in Texas compared to Florida, Walmart workers' language shifts, and his observational humor about customer service interactions with a focus on accent and cultural differences.
- Walmart employee changes behavior based on ice shirt (cultural signifier)
- Compares undercover crackhead appearance to looking broke
David discussed 21 months of sobriety, AA meetings, getting drunk at meetings, and accidentally attending a PTA meeting instead.
- Tried AA but needed a drink at meetings, spiked coffee
- Accidentally attended PTA meeting while drunk
Set about the Olympics and breakdancing, criticism of Netflix movies with bad voiceovers, and suggestions for better voiceovers featuring hood figures.
- Netflix gives horrible voiceovers, should let hood guys do Godfather impressions
- Let white guys do hood movies with terrible accents like Boys in the Hood
Jokes about aliens revealed as real, wanting to have sex with turquoise alien women, polyamorous relationships with Martian women, Area 51 worker hypotheticals.
- Aliens revealed real, when can we have sex with turquoise aliens like Avatar.
Discussed unknown words and their meanings, the word cracker, and cheese sandwiches with chaotic timing. Ended with audience interruption about having one minute left.
- Word 'cracker' meaning unknown, asks old white man hello cracker
- Pokemon joke about choosing Cracker as a creature
Sat on the panel this episode.
Kill Tony legend and Cam Patterson's uncle performs new minute about professional homeless people with dogs in Austin, signs claiming hunger, comparing to protein they carry.
- Professional homeless in Austin always have dogs, assigned when employed
- 45-year-old dog with hungry sign, but carries all this protein
- Hans Kim not real concern due to Tony's best friendship
David did a 51-second set about white people in Puerto Rico, family members, a homeboy with 10 kids discovering five aren't his but they stay together.
- Homeboy 20 years same girl, finds 5 of 10 kids not his
Set about donating plasma at CSL Plasma Center for $40, finding out about $500 bonus, joking about legal marijuana card and sperm donation child support fears.
- CSL Plasma: saving lives for $40, just call it what it is
- Scared to donate sperm because might end up on child support