Kill Tony #652 — Luis J Gomez, Jeff Dye, Kim Congdon
Guests: Luis J Gomez · Jeff Dye · Kim Congdon
Lineup
Set: Hans performs a new minute with his typical irreverent style, joking about voting, the Apple Vision Pro, poor people, and pigeons. He displays his characteristic offensive comedy approach.
Interview: Hans discusses showering three times a week, recent sexual encounters with his ex-girlfriend, and his preparation for an upcoming battle with Rick Diaz at the LA Forum.
- I'm glad Apple Vision Pro exists so masturbating on buses looks less weird
- Poor people brag about being poor; poor friend was locked in cage like a pigeon
- Hans and Tony announce Hans will not perform until May 10th LA Forum battle with Rick Diaz to give him equal preparation time
Set: Molly's first-time set includes jokes about fun facts, raisins in potato salad, a rhyming fact about liquor and beer, and references to the show Wild 'n Out. Material feels researched and comedy-class influenced.
Interview: Molly reveals she's 41, works in HR, and has followed comedy for years without formal training. Discussion covers her Texas rap knowledge, roller skating, and dating history with Black men.
- Fun fact: liquor before beer clears, beer before liquor you screw a coworker
- Panel mercilessly mocks Molly's appearance, comparing her to Chucky and a housewife character
- Red Band's producer corrects her microphone stand usage, creating awkward backstage interaction
Set: Trey's third appearance features dark material about childhood sexual abuse, pegging, and relationships. He admits he's nervous and not drunk, describing trauma rather than traditional jokes.
Interview: Trey has been doing standup for 1.5 years, works at Secret Group checking IDs, describes himself as looking like a bridge troll. Discussion covers his appearance and recent fan encounters.
- Got pegged on first sexual encounter; apparently that's what you do in relationships
- Recently recognized by kill Tony fan at Kroger who wouldn't let him shoplift 24 Dr Peppers
- Tony compares Trey to William Montgomery if he were a parade float; repeated roasting about appearance
- Trey mentions moving to Austin and jokes about Sunset Strip comedy club ceiling heights
Longoria
Set: Longoria's third appearance includes edgy material about an abusive neighbor, Down Syndrome drivers, and a girlfriend with poor hygiene. Dark and offensive comedy about relationships and discrimination.
Interview: Longoria is 32, half Mexican and half Egyptian Arab, works with dogs professionally for nearly two decades. Discussion covers his dog rescue business, collectible sales, and performing parody songs.
- Neighbor beats wife a lot; now beats her yesterday so I don't know what to call Asian drivers
- Girlfriend has stinky butt but tight so like plants at Chernobyl I can learn to love it
- Longoria performs parody of 'Bad Day' about not paying bills and selling butt to buy baby wipes
- Jeff Dye compliments Longoria's comedy and weird personality, offers friendship
Set: Kam performs 59 seconds about making a cop laugh during a show, asking if the cop would let him go if pulled over with prostitutes, weed, and a gun. Dark material with surprising punchline.
Interview: Kam recently thought he had herpes but it was an ingrown hair; discusses his sexual activity and encounters with women. Panel makes crude jokes about his anatomy and relationships.
- Made cop laugh during set; asked if he'd let me go if pulled over blackout drunk with prostitutes and weed
- Kam points at random woman in audience during interview about chlamydia joke, creating awkward moment
Set: Matt's material covers being asked if he was born a man or woman, dating someone with shopping addiction (heroin), and childhood antisemitic bullying about picking up pennies.
Interview: Matt has been doing standup 5 years, moved to Austin 2 years ago from Upstate New York. He's signed up 90 times before getting picked; works as bartender and has a therapist fiancée.
- Someone asked if I was born man or woman; I was born a baby, who's giving birth to grown people
- Jewish kids threw pennies saying I'd pick them up; actually good financial decision with compound interest
- Jeff Dye compares Matt's appearance from different angles to different people, praising his handsomeness then criticizing his profile
- Matt describes working at world's tiniest airport with remote control airplanes
Set: Shelby's 6-month-old material includes jokes about Texas being weird, a man in heels vs expected businesswoman, and tortoise jokes comparing them to pianos and shower observations.
Interview: Shelby is a Marine (military) and marine biologist (career), from College Station near Texas A&M. She has a tortoise, stole it from negligent brother-in-law. Reveals she took husband's bucket spot for Kill Tony.
- Saw man with cowboy hat in heels at work instead of expected businesswoman
- My tortoise is like a piano because it'll kill you if it falls 50 feet on your head
- Tony reveals Shelby took her husband's bucket spot, blacklists husband from future shows
Set: Shahab's nervous set includes jokes about recently discovering Ricky Martin is gay, drug dealer thinking he's a cop, and Black people expecting him to say something racist.
Interview: Shahab has been doing standup 1.5 years in Chicago, worked in university administration for 14 years before quitting. Recently divorced after 13 years, straight-edge until 38, had MDMA experience with Dominican woman.
- Just found out Ricky Martin is gay; makes me uncomfortable masturbating to him
- Drug dealer and I both think the other is a cop; makes purchasing drugs difficult
- Shahab elaborates on $900 leather jacket purchase after 2 years of considering it, post-divorce epiphany
- Reveals he lives in Prius, described as 'nomadic,' essentially homeless but frames it positively
Set: Anthony's 2-year-old material covers coming out as keto to Italian family getting worse reactions than coming out as gay, using Italian family comparisons for other ethnic groups.
Interview: Anthony is 33, from Upstate New York, works as a barber. Moved to Austin 6 months ago, recently arrested for weed vape while driving. Had poor first date with lesbian-leaning woman due to crude humor.
- Italian family treats my keto diet worse than if I came out of closet; comparing to other ethnicities
- Anthony discloses DUI arrest for weed vape in cup holder after moving to Texas
Set: Michael's second appearance features material about being raised by Black mother, not being used to white people, wiggers hating other wiggers, and philosophical takes on race and disability.
Interview: Michael sells spaghetti, works side gigs, lives in Corpus Christi suburbs. Discusses spaghetti business receiving fan support and money, past CD-selling hustle, and his 19th bucket signup.
- Wiggers hate other wiggers; barked at white dude at club like jealous house slaves
- Racism is distraction; all humans came from Africa so only one race is human race
- Michael performs second verse of original rap about ADHD medication side effects and childhood trauma
- Offer to perform rap on secret show Thursday instead of comedy due to poor delivery